There are a few things every single should do before they think about marriage. Besides, why pray for something that you aren’t preparing yourself to handle? It’s easy to lose your blessing when your character isn’t ready to maintain it. So here are five quick things to do before marriage:
1. Seek God
One drastic thing people forget to do is to seek God. The first step to finding a “godly relationship” is to first find God. We often think a relationship will build our walk with God, but we must first have a relationship with God. Dating the wrong person can also slow it down. If you aren’t growing spiritually already, then you’ll only be more distracted when someone else is in your life.
We have to first see God as number one in our lives and build our lives around our walk with Him, or else when someone becomes a part of our walk we will eventually fall so in love with them that we fail to realize that God isn’t anywhere in that equation.
God can’t bless a relationship that excludes Him. So be sure you’re seeking Christ so you’ll find someone else who’s actively doing the same thing.
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6
2. Stop seeking unsaved people to convert and marry.
Many times we fall into sin or end up heartbroken is because we pursued what God didn’t want us to have. You see, God wouldn’t send someone your way and all that person does is lead you into sin or provoke lustful thoughts in you. God doesn’t tempt us with evil (James 1:13), so if you see a temptation coming you have to see the devil is feeding off of our sinful desires.
Many of us just don’t take the bible seriously and that’s why the world is in such a corrupt state. Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 6:14 to not be “equally yoked with unbelievers”. What does that mean? To be connected to one another to the point where you go where they go. They used to yoke animals together so they can plow in the same direction. It’s clear you’ll interact with nonbelievers, but that doesn’t mean to take it further to the point where you’re emotionally connected. So understand this, when you’re connected to someone you’re going where they are going for the most part. If you date an unsaved person, you’ll be heading towards sin more than they’ll be heading towards righteousness. Understand that many people make mistakes and date non believers and God can always save them, but we can’t use that as the rule. God’s word said not to connect to a nonbeliever because we can’t change them, only God can change them so it makes sense to find someone God has already saved rather than risk your walk with God in order to find companionship.
“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”
3. Work on you.
Many people keep pursuing the “perfect one” for them, but are forgetting that person is also looking for someone of substance. We have to bring more to the table than our looks.
I understand that everyone won’t have degrees or the highest paying jobs and that is perfectly fine, but have you learned how to do simple things like cook or clean? The time we spend single and pursuing everyone that interests us could also be spent investing into ourselves.
Not having a brand new hairstyle or outfit every week isn’t what’s stopping you from finding God’s will. Sometimes we are stopping ourselves from a Christ centered relationship because we are seeking people rather than allowing Christ to direct us.
4. Find your identity in Christ.
The reason many don’t know their purpose in life is because they are seeking to find their worth in someone else. We can’t base our worth based on anything that we can lose. If you wait until someone else comes along to say that you are beautiful, you are appreciated or to compliment you, you forget to see that God already says that about us. God’s word says you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14).
Start seeing yourself the way God sees you so you don’t need anyone else to fill a void in your life. Relationships are only to add to your life, God is the one who gives meaning to our lives. Colossians 2:10 says that we are complete in Christ. Stop trying to find someone else to do what Christ has already done.
“For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me the fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water.” Jeremiah 2:13
5. Get over your ex!
Many are rushing into relationships in order to be restored from previous hurt. God wants to heal you and restore you back into Him when you fall short or have been heartbroken, it isn’t fair to expect a new person to fill that void. If you still hate your ex or want to get back with them, you shouldn’t pursue someone else.
You shouldn’t ever hate your ex, no matter what they did. If they hurt you, pray for God to save them and work on them. But always pray for God’s will, because it makes no sense for us to chase something that God doesn’t want us a part of. I wouldn’t want to restore a relationship that God isn’t glorified and He was the one who separated us for our protection.
“I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:14
Grace and peace,