How do I Know If They’re “the one”? 

How do I know God’s will for my life? Who does God want me to marry? Are they going to be attractive? Will they workout often? Are they spiritual? Is the person I’m with a blessing or a burden?
These are just a few of the random questions that plague our minds when we are single or are contemplating marriage. There is nothing wrong with taking great thought into marriage, the issue simply occurs when we allow our emotions or our friends to bring clarity rather than praying and waiting on Jesus to give us direction. You see, it’s nothing wrong with me being single, if I’m single and using my singleness to honor Jesus. Meaning I’m honoring God through my inward (thoughts and desires) and outward (actions, entertainment, dressing, etc.) purity. It’s also nothing wrong with being in a relationship if I’m using that relationship to glorify Jesus and not turning that person into an idol/besetting sin (see Hebrews 12:1).
“There are many devices in a man’s heart; nevertheless the counsel of the Lord, that shall stand.” (Proverbs‬ ‭19:21‬)
The majority of us want to be married, and I strongly believe it isn’t God’s will for anyone to be alone. By alone I do not mean “single”, I mean isolated and having a mindset that you can do everything by yourself. Desiring company, whether that simply being godly friends or a spouse that you can honor God with, is a good desire to have.
“Ye did run well; who did hinder you that ye should not obey the truth?” (Galatians‬ ‭5:7‬)
Whoever we date/marry will influence our spiritual walk. Maybe you missed that so I’ll say it again for anyone who hates that fact, WHOEVER WE DATE/MARRY WILL INFLUENCE OUR SPIRITUAL WALK. Too often there are believers that feel it’s okay to date nonbelievers. While that is not the right thing to do biblically (2 Corinthians 6:14 and Amos 3:3), it really isn’t safe. We may feel as though we are leading them to Jesus, but why couldn’t we do that outside of dating? Isn’t witnessing God’s will for us? We are to win souls for the kingdom, not date people into a relationship with Jesus.
For those wondering how good looking their spouse will be…. Of course the person you marry will be attractive to you, God knows that you will see more than their spiritual walk. However, everyone who is attractive or is interested is not supposed to be an option for you. That six pack isn’t a strong enough foundation for marriage. Those curves may look nice, but they do not raise your children or determine if someone respects you.
You want to know how to tell whether someone is “God’s will” for you? Seek God for yourself! If you don’t know truth, a lie will always deceive you.
“All men/women are the same”.. You’ve heard it before, but the reason they’ll keep ending up with those types is because we haven’t surrounded ourselves with God. Evil can’t stand in God’s presence, so the more you seek Jesus is the more you’ll see Him weed out the bad influences in your life. We can study a lie so we know how to resist it, but then the enemy will bring another lie. It’s not enough to understand your enemy, you have to understand Jesus as well so that you can be alert against every possible attack/distraction coming in.
“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:” (John‬ ‭10:27)
Just because we believe in Jesus does not mean we have a relationship with Him. God wants us to keep coming close to Him. We can’t be satisfied with where we are. The closer we get to Jesus is the further we are from distractions, and that’s definitely the easier way to recognize when something isn’t God’s will. If someone comes along trying to get you to do the opposite of what God is telling you, then it is no way that God wants you to be with them (see James 1:13-15).

Grace and peace.

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I absolutely love Jesus, and I am unashamed to say that. I'm just a young man with big dreams, but my main purpose in life is to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

38 thoughts on “How do I Know If They’re “the one”? 

  1. You know I found out about this page after my break up wth my ex. I can say u hv inspired me in a way I never thought possibe. And it made me realize how wrong & disobedient I hv been to God, I hv realized my mistakes and I repented and all I want from nw on is to honor Him with all tht I hv, my mind,body&soul. And it made realize how much I love Him, enough to let go of what s not honoring Him, enough to leave it all n submitt to Him. Thank you once again. I am learning something new everyday

    1. I also found this page after my split with my ex😊. I have learned so much and continue to. It definitely was not Gods will with who I was with. Happy to be doing it the right way and what God has in store!

    2. wow this is great and from what i have seen so far , God is all we need in life …………….i have someone am in a relationship with now which i love so much with all of my heart but she works in a bar that also has a club , how do i stop her from working there , right now i have no job to get income to take good care of myself and get her needs too………..i really want both of us to change and do Gods will but pls i need your people to tell me what to do and where to start from ?and how to go about it . thanks

  2. God bless the man behind godlydating 101 u make my spiritual walk with God more of a reality. I found ur page on ig after my break up, n i can tell u now i see God’s purpose for my life concerning relationships, i wanted to settle for an unbeliever thinking his spiritual life is on an average, but after the breakup God kept revealing tins to me tru ur page n other related pages on ig. Indeed God is using u to touch n bless lives

  3. I haven’t even read this yet…But I’m sure I’ll be blown away. I follow you on Instagram and I just want to shake your hand. I’m like WHO WRITES THISSSSSS!!! I’ll def be reading more and posting the great things of God you share. Thank you for your wisdom and sharing in obedience.

  4. Thank you. You’ve really been a blessing to my life and relationship. Just wondering, a pastor told me over the weekend that dating is never God’s method for building marriages. This has left me totally confused. A lot of people also think this way. God has given me total peace concerning my relationship anyway. Keep up the good work. God bless you.

    1. It’s true if your dating has no direction. It must be marriage directed. Your family must know about it and also your partners family know about you. Your church authorities aswell. They often say if you keep it a secret then it’s not a good relationship. But I believe that you know whether God wants you to keep this relationship or not..whether good or bad. We must always seek God first! And be prepared for anything. He might even use your authorities or family to reject this relationship..be open

  5. I was recently walked out on by a man, who believed himself to be godly, who promised to marry me. Said it just got too much for him. He needed a break. Just to find out via Facebook that actually he was ending the relationship totally. No phone call, no meeting me face to face to say it. I have not made any contact nor lashed out at him and even though he has hurt me so much, I desire to become more and more like God and seek Him ALL the time. I now know how I hurt God when disobeying Him. I forgive this man and pray for him. It’s through my pain (which I brought upon myself with making the wrong choices) that I take responsibility for the repercussion of my unGodly choices and repent of my sins. I really needed to read this article and it stirs up a fire in me to really study God’s word to find the answers to all my questions to ensure that I make the right decisions in future to glorify His name. Thank you for the enlightenment. God bless.

  6. I have a boy friend who always wants to keep our relationship a secret,especially from his friends and relatives. He treats me badly, with no sense of respect or love but each time he does this, i grew more on love with him. I turn to swallow all the pain and continue to ask God to make things right. God must have been tired for me I guess? Its obvious he doesnt love me but I still begg God to make things right for us…I am confused and need help and this page has given me inner peace..thanks to the author, God bless.

  7. Wow this page is truly a blessing. It’s guiding me together with the word of god in my walk of faith. I’m learning a lot and realising my mistakes too. I’m grateful!

  8. A piece of advice my husband and I received from a wise older pastor before we married was to have both sets of parents approval . This may sound ridiculous especially if they are non believers. However, our parents have insight and wisdom due to their experiences and they often see character flaws in a potential son in law or daughter in law that the love blind cannot or will not see. Plus two FAMILIES are getting married in a way and if you honor your parents things will go well with you. We were determined to wait to marry until all 4 gave the thumbs up. We have had family peace and harmony and have been married for 39 years!

  9. I’ve ever been blessed since I came along this blog. I know it’s no accident. My faith in God, resolve to get over the break up with my ex, and desire to pursue earnestly after God and his purpose for my life gets stronger with each post I read. I’m glad you found ur missing rib. I wish you a most fruitful marriage and life. God bless you for being a blessing!

  10. Its a very important topic. finding the right one is a complex issue. sometimes the right one might even ignore you especially if you had the wrong approach, I experienced it ,I think everything went wrong just because of approach. It hurt because that should have been my first date, but I let go, tried to go through counseling . Now I am still trusting God to give me that special one, my effort have not paid off. my question is what is the best approach that will win the right one. because the don’t fall from the sky.

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