They Stole My Wo/man

“We were supposed to be friends.”

“S/he betrayed me. I hate how they just up and left me like that.”

“He’s supposed to be a man of God, so why did he run after another woman like that?”

“She made me think she was a godly woman, but she just left me for another guy. I don’t get it.”


I get frustrated messages all of the time about people who recently broke up with someone. Not only did they experience a breakup, but sometimes they were left for someone else. I try to hear them out every time, because they are genuinely hurting. Sometimes, it is clear as day that they dodged a bullet and God was the one protecting them from going any further in that relationship. Sometimes, God allows it to end in a rough way, and I believe that can be the only way for some people to actually move on. Is it God’s will for His children to be hurt and heartbroken? Not at all. But sometimes we never hear God’s voice until we experience pain and certain things in our lives are removed (see Isaiah 6:1). But I’m a firm believer that God gives us free-will, and we choose to entertain the wrong people too often.


So let’s get into this topic really fast with five points I want you to understand:


1. No one can “steal” your man/woman.

Okay I know Trey Songz likes to call himself “Mr. Steal Yo Girl”, but he needs to go sit down somewhere. No one can steal your man or woman away. Why?

  1. They do not belong to you, they belong to Christ. There is no ownership at all over them, even when you two are married. The circumstances are a little different in marriage, yes, but you do not own anyone.
  2. If someone can take them away, their heart was never fully committed to you.
  3. What God has for you, is for you.

I think we get so hung up on the heartbreak that we are just trying to find someone to blame. But the bible clearly shows us that God is able to bless everyone, so He would not send something He has planned for you to someone else. God’s will for your life is not attached to those who left you. The heartbreak always feels devastating because what we planned fell through. However, you will find peace and restoration in the presence of God if you focus on Him, instead of on the hurt (see Isaiah 26:3).


For the Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly. (Psalms 84:11)


2. Their actions doesn’t define your worth.

It’s so easy for us to look on ourselves and start saying how ugly, boring, foolish or weird we are. Am I even funny? Was she faking this entire time? Was he only after my body? The list can go on, but that list has to be stopped. You need to find your worth in Jesus and what He did on the cross, not in a relationship. Which is why I so often tell people to find their worth in Christ before dating, because that will prevent you from idolizing them. When you know who you are in Christ, you won’t have to compete for anyone’s love or affection. You will know that you are loved because you are perfect in God’s image and who He has for you will be blessed to have you in their lives.

Please understand this, they had a choice. Even if you pushed them away with nagging, disrespect or any other annoying behavior. Am I saying they should stay and tolerate nonsense? Not at all, but the mature and godly thing to do is to talk about it, try to get through it and end the relationship if they don’t like how you are acting. If they cheated, that was their choice, not your fault. If they left, that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve love. If they mistreated you, that doesn’t mean someone else will never respect and cherish you. Their loss! Learn from the hurt instead of being consumed by it. Jesus still loves you and has great plans for you.


But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light: (1 Peter 2:9)


3. Stop hating the person that they turned to.

Probably the hardest point to talk about, because it is a natural instinct to call them a “home-wrecker” and say how evil they are.

“Ewwww. This boy downgraded with that ugly girl.”

“HA! Her new man is so whack, forget them both.”

“They could never find a better replacement! They both can go to H.. for all I care.”

Don’t sit and pretend this doesn’t happen, even in the church. Some people are genuinely harboring hatred in their hearts, but I know God wants to heal you from that. And I know He will if you let Him. I mean really, why be mad? If they would cheat on you with them, they will cheat on them with someone else. If someone will boast about “stealing your wo/man”, then that is a clear sign of an insecurity they have. Pray for them. Whether they were aware of them being in a relationship or not, the bible says to love and to do good to those who mistreat you. Please do not allow hatred to consume you, overcome evil will love.

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; (Matthew 5:44)


4. Some people were never committed to you, you thought they were.

This is a sad reality many of us have to understand. You thought they cheated, but in reality they were never dating you. Maybe you were dating them, but they never showed you they wanted to be exclusive, faithful to you or God, and they may have went along with it due to the benefits. I mean really, you post about them day and night, yet they don’t talk about you. Or they tell you keep it a “secret”. Every relationship should be private, but if they want to keep you a secret, it is clear that their intentions aren’t to commit. We have to stop trying to pressure people into relationships with us. If you have to force it, it is not the will of God. When God brings you two together, then it will flow.

Some people aren’t committed to you, they are committed to what they can get from you. Many of you are in lustful relationships, but you stay because you believe that is the only way to receive love. The moment you would be brave enough to say “ no” and tell you them want to take your walk with God seriously, they will leave. They never loved you, they loved the access you gave to your body, finances, gifts, etc. If you ever told some of the people you were dating that you are tired of the relationship being lukewarm, you’d see some of them would leave. They aren’t committed to God; they are just trying to get you minus Christ. So how can they commit to you and not your God? You have to make your standards clear and express exactly what it is that you expect from the relationship. If Christ and marriage isn’t the goal, do not waste your time.


Can two walk together, except they be agreed? (Amos 3:3)


5. It may hurt, but God can never bring His will while we still entertain the person He didn’t send.

There are times in our lives when we try to ignore God’s warning signs because we want the relationship to work. They continually cheat, abuse, belittle, and pull you away from Jesus, but we don’t want to let go because we are afraid to start over. It’s okay to admit that you were wrong. Staying outside of God’s will just because you have invested a lot of time, money, energy or plans into them does not help bring you peace or love. It would be foolish to think an ungodly relationship would have eventually become godly if you were with someone that doesn’t try to grow with you.

Please understand that sometimes God calls us to places that exclude the people we want to keep on the journey. Elevation can require separation from people and habits, but it is always worth it to get what God has for you. Seasonal people do not deserve permanent positions in your life just because you have a few good memories. Learn to let go when you know God is telling you to let go.


Then Abraham said to his young men, “Stay here with the donkey; I and the boy will go over there and worship and come again to you.” (Genesis 22:5 ESV)


I pray this will help someone who is currently experiencing this. I pray for the married couples currently going through this, because I know it is harder for you. We also have a blog with 3 tips to get over an ex, please read that here.


Grace and peace.

15 thoughts on “They Stole My Wo/man”

  1. On Wednesday, September 20, 2017, GodlyDating101 wrote:

    > GodlyDating101 posted: ““We were supposed to be friends.” “S/he betrayed > me. I hate how they just up and left me like that.” “He’s supposed to be a > man of God, so why did he run after another woman like that?” “She made me > think she was a godly woman, but she just left me for” >

  2. This was so timely. Thank you for letting the Lord us you. I have been struggling with this and I think this is God giving me the message that I have been refusing to hear

  3. “What God has for you, is for you.” How does this apply to people who stay/get back together after someone cheats? I do know couples that have stayed or gotten back together. I wouldn’t be here if my mom hadn’t given my dad a second chance. They eventually divorced anyway. I say flat out right now I would never stay with a man, husband or just boyfriend who cheated. My prayer is God not send me a man He foresees would do that to me.

    1. Sometimes it isn’t God who sent someone that did that, we can’t blame God for our bad decision making. And please understand that just because God sends someone, that’s doesn’t make them perfect and incapable of falling into sin

      1. I don’t expect perfection. But cheating, I admit it’s probably due to my family history, is the ONE thing I would not tolerate. I plan to ask my future fella what his ONE thing is that I must do/not do to completely break his heart. Doesn’t mean we’ll be perfect, we may well argue once in a while and get on each other’s nerves. But doing something that completely breaks a person’s heart is a different issue.

  4. Word Word world!!

    Nobody can steal your man or woman. Sometimes God delivers us from toxic relationships in epic ways.

    Have you considered writing a book? I think this thing of finding identity in Christ before dating should be taught to every body especially female round the world.

    1. God has lead me to this post, I am in a relationship that pulls me away from God and I have been praying for strength to end it and move on. This is just the encouragement I need so that I can begin to focus on a True love from my Lord And Saviour

      1. Hi dear. I know exactly how difficult you are feeling right now as i myself has experienced the same recently. It took me years to fully understand that our relationship certainly isn’t from the Lord. He may be a great husband material, just perfect, except that he doesn’t know Jesus personally. I should know because of how he drags me back to sin and not in the Lord’s will instead. I tried to change him and bring him to the Lord’s feet but ended up him changing me and bringing me to sin. Of course, it was my choice to follow him in sin. My point is it’s difficult to live a godly life, but how much harder would it be to have someone who doesn’t help you grow spiritually but rather does the opposite. I may sometimes go back and wonder what is the very purpose and reason why I’ve ever let my self go through such horrible pain. Then I find my self being reminded that Jesus is worth it. He is worth every pain, every tear. Just everything. I praise God for giving you the conviction that you have to end that relationship knowing that He has greater plans than you have ever thought and imagined. Just keep asking for God’s strength to finnaly let go. I pray that He will continue to reveal Himself to you moment by moment and that you will be the person God wants you to be. Jesus loves you , dear ❤️

  5. It’s almost a year now when my world fell apart because I and my boyfriend broke up. I thought that was the end of everything. But I was completely wrong. Today, I am in awe when God made me realized that it has to happen, even it would really hurt me, so He can get my attention. So He can now have my complete attention. And today, as I’m writing these words, I am beyond grateful for what God has done for me. Once again, He saved me, freed me. He saved me and freed me from something I thought I really wanted and needed. God knows what’s best for me and He only wants what’s best for me. God reminds me that I have to be complete because of Him and not bec of anyone else. To find my joy in Him and in Him alone. I thank God for His continuous healing in my life spritually and emotionally. My faith becomes stronger each day knowing that I have a Father in heaven who got my back, all the time. How great is our God, indeed! All praises and Glory to Him.

    Thank you for sharing this. It’s really helpful. I’m sharing it to my friends. More power and God bless!

  6. I totally agree with you. What is for you is for you and sometimes God needs our hearts to be broken so we can turn to him. He doesn’t set us up for a break up but he works mightily with our brokeness

  7. Good Day, I usually enjoy the posts but I must say “they stole my wo/man” had good points and I had to comment.  Thank you for sharing.  The truth is I am trying to make better choices now while truly asking God what to do and who to allow in. Do continue to share these. Regards,

    Stacy-Ann Murray”Integrity is not an option its a lifestyle”

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