GodlyDating101

How to Meet Other Single Christians?

I received this question recently and I’m shocked that I’ve never posted on this subject before. This is actually a very real issue for people in the church. I remember being single and not feeling like there were any options at times. However, I do know that was just the enemy discouraging me so I’d look for someone lost in the world or just any single person who’s not a psychopath and live happily ever after. I’m no expert on this subject by any stretch of the imagination, but I do have some thoughts regarding this.

So here are a few locations that I’d like to suggest to all of my single friends:

1 . Church

Well this one is obviously number 1 on our list. If you love Jesus, it would make sense for you to pursue someone who loves Him as well. If you know that God has a calling on your life, it’s wise to find someone that’ll push you closer to your calling. I have met many believers that lacked character in the Church. I was definitely one of them. I’m daily aiming to please God and die to my carnal and worldly ways. That being said, please don’t think just because they are in church means they are actually aiming to please God. Be prayerful about who you connect to. However, a few bad examples is not an excuse to think you can’t meet an amazing Christian in church to grow with and serve God with.

If your church is small, just make friends in other churches. God is bigger than your church/organization. Please don’t lock God in your box. I’m not advocating for anyone to skip their service or start visiting other churches without the awareness AND permission of your pastor. I know everyone thinks they’re grown nowadays, but you need to make your leadership aware of what’s going on when you’re not in church. There are plenty of occasions where you can visit other churches.

I know that I have some non Christian friends that read this blog, but I’m not going to change my message. In order to find a person to love God and serve Him with, the smartest decision is to go the church. I’ll never understand how we expect to meet a godly spouse at the club or some worldly event….. Side-note: Please don’t start staring at people mid-worship or chasing everyone on the choir. Go to church for the right reason (to build your walk with God and build community) and He will order your steps.

“Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” (2 Timothy 2:22)

2. Christian concert or conference

I recently mentioned visiting other churches, but I find this one slightly different. I say this because I’ve visited plenty of church conferences growing up that had hundreds or thousands of people. It’s weird to look back and notice how we’d dress up hoping to meet a girl or how the ladies would do something to be noticed. It seemed like everyone was meeting their spouses at these camp meetings.

It may be very carnal or immature for me to think that going to a Christian event is the way to find a spouse. However, let’s be realistic, it does take effort on your part. Please don’t lock yourself in the house and think God is going to drop someone out of the sky. Unless you plan to marry a burglar or a Jehovah’s Witness. Just saying.

The only negative to finding someone here is you really don’t know everyone’s doctrine, denomination or core beliefs just because they are at a church event. So always be prayerful and take the time to get to know them. Ask deep questions and be willing to say “well this person is amazing, but I think it’s safer to remain friends instead of compromise my beliefs by dating them”.

“Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.” (Psalms 37:4-5)

3. Online

I recently said in my last blog that I’m completely against it. You can read it here if you are interested. However, I was not clear at all about what I meant by online dating. I literally met online dating, not long distance or meeting someone online and building a real relationship. I receive dozens of messages of people who literally date people in other countries or states that they’ve never met and they can never visit one another. To me, that is far from wise because you don’t know who they are after FaceTime ends. Does that mean I am against long distance? Not for a second. My wife and I dated long distance for awhile because of me being in the military. The only reason the long distance didn’t feel like too much of a hassle was only because I knew her for years prior to dating.

So when I say I’m against online dating, it’s for people that never meet up but literally think they’re getting married some day. That’s a pen pal or an online bestie, not a real or authentic relationship. Not only that, but some of the greatest friends I’ve met were made via social media. I’ve added people on Instagram or Twitter after having mutual friends or seeing something inspirational, and after some time we’ve become very close. So who’s to say God couldn’t lead you to your spouse via a social media connection? I’d be a hypocrite to say that it’s impossible.

With that being said, I am not telling you to do the following:

  • Create a tinder account.
  • Jump in anyone’s DM’s saying you’re God’s will for their life.
  • -Neglect making authentic friendships in real life and seeking God about potential relationships, but simply using a keyboard to find a spouse.

4. The Bible app

You’d laugh at me saying that, but I’m literally attending a wedding this weekend for a couple who met on the Bible app. God works in mysterious ways y’all!

5. Through evangelism

I don’t believe in the “flirt to convert” mentality I see in the church today. I don’t believe we should date unsaved people hoping they’ll get saved in the future. What I am saying is we should always be ready to invite people to church, share Jesus with them and live godly lives at church, work, home, etc.

Did you know that your lifestyle can point people to Jesus or push them away from Him? Matthew 5:16 says people will come to glorify God when they see our good works. Reading that makes me realize that there are tons of people who will never go to church because of them witnessing our hypocrisy or carnal actions when claiming to be Christian.

Let’s just say you decided to be sold out to Jesus and you walked around with such a passion that people started being attracted to the Jesus within you. Don’t you think that would be a very easy way to win souls and disciple them to Christ? A self examination will answer that question. I don’t believe we should be seeking God or doing His will just to get a spouse, but we can clearly see a direct correlation between evangelism and more options to Christian men/women we can marry some day.

“Instead, you must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your hope as a believer, always be ready to explain it.” (1 Peter 3:15 NLT)

Where are some places you have gone and met some great Christian people? Or where did you meet your spouse? I know many people met their significant others in places that range from the gas station to Walmart or from Chick-fil-A to the gym. Never doubt God’s ability to answer prayer.

Grace and peace,

Tovares Grey

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21 thoughts on “How to Meet Other Single Christians?”

  1. Great article! I’ve been following your I’ve been following your IG account for about 2 months now. One place I would add is Bible college. I’ve recently finished my freshman year at West Coast Baptist College, and I would say that that is an excellent place to meet godly peers who have the same mindset as you do. Thanks for the posts and keep up the great work!

      1. This is a great Idea! Especially for us singles who are searching for God fearing people who are nowadays hard to find. think meeting new people who are called to serve the Lord is a great blessing.
        As long us you let God lead your ways.

      2. This is a great Idea! Especially for us singles who are searching for God fearing people who are nowadays hard to find. think meeting new people who are called to serve the Lord is a great blessing.
        As long us you let God lead your ways.

  2. I’m 42 divorced mother of 2 adult children (out of the home) . I’ve encountered several bad situations in churches from being solicited to date/sex from Pastors/Deacons/Band members and to be honest these behaviors have detoured me from meeting anyone and trusting them in the church setting. After a hurtful separation I put my entire all into serving , reading, healing, praying my marriage would be restored. God didn’t see fit to restore it wasn’t in his will, I get that yet I was in my opinion attacked by the so called men of the cloth & they pushed me further away from church. Now, don’t get me wrong I still believe in God & have faith but I honestly feel I’m supposed to be a nun with my luck on men & dating.

    1. I’m sorry about your experience sis. I’d like to say that, those terrible actions from them have nothing to do with genuine godly men. It should’ve been a clear indicator to leave if church leadership was doing that. Furthermore, it is not always the will of God that we all are married or dating so I am proud of you being faithful to God despite your current singleness.

      1. Thank you for the response. & yes I’m trying (not that successful at times). With the social celebrity pastors as well as local in my area Detroit Michigan it’s really hard to be a follower in Christ. I know what the word says however you see these so called holy people and it’s glitz glam and pure foolery so some days it’s like what’s the point. Our Society/words paves a way for corrupt ways of thinking as well as living. Again Thank you. I’ll continue to follow your post, they are inspiring.

    2. Am sorry about what those so called christian leaders. Jesus said not everyone who calls me Lord, Lord will enter the kingdom. Just like among some fruits, you’ll find a spoilt one. Take those as the spoilt one. Pray to God to reveal his love to do. The holy spirit will help you and when you get the revelation of the height, depth, length and breadth of God’s love. You’ll be healed. God’s love is the cure to what ails you.

    3. I am a 56-year-old male, I’ve been celibate for almost 7 months. I like David I’m just chasing after gods heart

  3. My sister sorry the bad encounters i will say that try to enqurie from God when attending a church if you should stay or not for He says in His word that He will give us shepherd after His own heart so to me if my leader is not following God truely there is no way i will submit to such cos the actions of our leaders have a great effect to us either nagtively or positively and above all we are to walk our personal salvation with fear and trembling.

  4. Hi Tovares, I’ve been reading your posts for the past few days about dating and I don’t know if I’m missing something. But I strongly belive in and find hope in the verse you quoted above: Pslam 37:4-5. I mean, God knows our heart’s desires and He is able to take care of them, He’s been taking care of His children for millenia.
    We just need to focus on what God’s plan for us is and stay within His framework as best we can. And while God is working on us, in us, and through us, our rib will eventually show up and how beautiful that would be when they just appear unexpectedly and you go and ask God is s/he the one and He says yes. Its all about handing it over to Him and trusting His timing, we should refocus on Him.

  5. Great read. I needed it. Pretty humorous too. I’m from Kenya and I go to a small wonderful church so every guy in church is pretty much my brother. I’m also not very social and I haven’t dated in years! But what is impossible with God?😊

    1. Hello Maria, east african counterpart..😊 am from Ugandan am happy to see someone from the same région post here… And thanks to the publisher Godlydating i also follow you on Instagram great poste..

  6. I love what you’re saying! I met my husband at our church because my best friend and I, both divorced, wanted to create a place where we could meet others our age. We went to our Pastors and created a 35+ connect group! My husband volunteered to help lead…we became good friends…and were married 2 years later. If you dont have a church group to meet people talk to your Pastors and create one!

  7. This was an awesome article, it’s funny how God works when we ask Him to reveal something to us! My church is not only small, but there aren’t many people my age there. This article was definitely helpful!

    I do have a question though. What if you are interested in someone you haven’t met but are friends with people they know? Would you suggest talking to those friends to see if they would introduce you to the person you’re interested in? A while back I was at a worship event on campus, the girl I liked was there and I noticed she was looking over at me at a few points. But because I was shy, I didn’t take the time to meet her. She might’ve been interested.

    Thanks for all that you do, I’m still getting better with the whole dating thing and your posts help a lot! God bless!

    1. Hey bro! Hopefully you didn’t miss your opportunity. I believe you should take the step whenever you can, but in cases like these, feel free to have a friend reach out. However, it’s up to you to be bold and initiate that friendship and build from there. Your friends can open the door, but you have to do the rest. By God’s grace and direction of course.

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