Called to Singleness?

This blog is long overdue! One too many people have been frustrated with God because He has not met their desires when or how they expected Him to. Many are now in their 30s, 40s, 50s and even older and still message us saying “I really don’t understand if I am missing something. I turn down bad relationships all of the time. I honor Christ with my body and I do my best to stay focused on Him. But I want a wo/man, doesn’t the bible say God will give us the desires of our heart?” And yes, I have received this concern from all age groups, genders, countries, etc. I used to think some people were honestly being impatient and “needy”. But is that always the case? Nope. Some people just have good desires that won’t be met, or they will be and they just have to learn to trust the journey.
 
Here are 4 things I want you to grasp about this topic:
 
1 Just because you want to get married, that does not mean a spouse is owed to you.
 
I believe many people can twist the scriptures so much that they no longer serve God, but they serve their idea of God. I say that because it is so easy to find a bible verse that sounds good, so we try to apply it to our lives without knowing its context or understanding what God was actually trying to say. I literally received a comment from someone that said “We all were created for marriage, and the bible says the woman was created for man.” I didn’t even bother arguing with them or getting into some form of biblical debate, because everyone has the right to their own opinion. Even when they are wrong. We are created for God and to give Him glory. Yes, the bible mentions that God brought Eve into the picture because it was not good for Adam to be alone, but that does not mean every woman born on this earth needs to be married in order to have a purpose. Just because God did not see it fit for Adam to be alone, that does not mean that every man on earth needs a wife before he can do the will of God for his life.
 
“Well the bible says in Psalms 37:4 that if we delight ourselves in God then He will give us the desires of our hearts”. Yes, it does say that, but it does not say everything that we desire is owed to us. Neither does it say that every good desire in our hearts is God’s desire for us. When you delight in Jesus, you begin to desire more of Him and you begin to desire what He wants you to have. So while you are there spending time with Jesus, He will begin to rearrange some mentalities, habits, actions that you have/struggle with and He will mold you into His image. What if it is His plan for you to be single? So many people are not content, but they believe a spouse will fill that void. That will never happen because a spouse should add to our life, not be your goal in life. Jesus is the only One able to fill the void in our hearts.
 

Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. (Psalms 37:4)

 
2 – Some people are called to singleness.
 
I figured I might as well tackle this topic at some point, because some people really do not think it is possible for this to happen. In the scriptures, there were people that were not meant to be married. Those were the eunuchs. Of course, I am not advocating to having any man castrated or forcing people to remain single. Times have changed, and that is a bit extreme if you ask me. However, if you don’t mind reading Matthew 19:1-12 really quickly you’ll see what I am about to refer to. Jesus was asked about divorce by some clowns, I mean Pharisees, and He dropped the truth on them like a BOSS! Marriage is God’s design, and the two become one flesh that way. They asked so why did Moses allow divorce then, clearly trying to start drama. Jesus told them because of your “hardened hearts”, Moses allowed that to happen. God’s plan is never divorce, and He goes into a little more detail, but I want you to go and read that really fast! Back to my point, Jesus said in verse 12 that some were born eunuchs, some were forced into it, and others chose that lifestyle for Heaven’s sake. I could possibly be wrong, but this is only my opinion on what He was stating: Jesus wasn’t saying some castrated themselves to glorify God. Rather, He was saying some abstained from marriage and sex in order for their lives to be fully dedicated to God. It is possible to be alive and not desire marriage or sex. Don’t feel inferior or weird if that is you. Use your life for His glory. I believe it is also possible that some may desire marriage, but they can be more effective for God while single. Which is why marriage will always be a great desire, but being single is not something you should just shun the very thought of.
 
Paul was a man that literally changed the world for Jesus. He was so on fire for Christ that he could send a handkerchief and it would heal the person when it reached them (see Acts 19:11-12). However, in all of the great things this man did for Christ, he did something that many refuse to believe is God’s will: he stayed single. Whether Paul was always single, divorced or widowed is beside the point. He said that he recommends for Christians to remain single like he was (1 Corinthians 7:6-8). Of course he was not saying everyone should be single and celibate, because that will mean there is no way to repopulate God’s earth. However, he was showing us that there is so much you can do for God when you are single. If you have the desire to be married, that is a good desire, just be sure that you are willing to serve God with your heart whether single or married.
 

For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. (1 Corinthians 7:7)

 
3 – Your motives can be the reason why you are still single.
 
In the era of social media, everyone feels like they are missing something. You follow that dream couple and you wish you could be like them. You are constantly told by friends and family that you need to hurry up and get married. People begin to question your sexuality, your character and everything else about you. Sometimes it feels like the best thing to do is to just rush a relationship. However, seeking something God does not want us to have or rushing into something because we do not want to feel left out will only lead to pain, stress or sin. I have reached a point in my life where, I only want what God has for me. Waiting sucks, we all know that. But what good is it to be married and you end up walking out of God’s will in the process?
 
I didn’t get into too much detail because we already wrote a blog on how our motives often times delay God’s plan for our lives. Click here to read that full blog that will get more into why motives are a reason some will never be married, or it will simply be a very long time before they do.
 

You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. (James 4:2-3)

 
4 – If you aren’t faithful to Christ in your single season, you will still be inconsistent when you’re married.
 
Some people amaze me at how much they love the idea of marriage, but not the idea of being the bride of Christ. That isn’t to sound judgmental, but we really need to check our hearts. Do you really think that marriage is the time to start living spiritual? No, singleness is the time to develop your walk with God. If I struggle with lust while dating, I will struggle while married. If I am rude while dating, I will be rude when I am married. If I can’t budget and I spend all of my money shopping, I will simply lead my marriage into bankruptcy. Too many people are focused on finding “the one”, instead of becoming the one. I know firsthand that all of my issues before marriage are still issues now unless I address them, learn from them and depend on Jesus for growth.
 
Not only that, but we must have our own walk with God. Please do not think a “godly relationship” is a substitute for an actual relationship with God. You want a godly spouse? Live a godly life. You want to prove that you are “marriage material”? Start developing yourself as a Christian and mature adult so that you will actually be ready for this marriage that you are prepared for. Some people are single because they cannot be trusted in a relationship. If we are inconsistent with God, we will only love someone else conditionally. If we are not faithful to Him despite His love and grace towards us, we will struggle with the person we are dating. We all mess up, but a consistently growing relationship with God will help you to love others.
 

But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. (James 1:6-8)

 
Grace and peace.
 

Christians with Addictions

Everyone finds themselves battling some form of sin at some point in your life. It’s sad that in the church we have people that believe in “big” and “little” sins. You know, those who secretly gossip, lie, steal and hate others, but they don’t think they are a “bad person” because they aren’t fornicating or a homosexual. Please understand this before reading any further, you need Jesus. I need Jesus. Those people that hurt you need Jesus. WE ALL NEED JESUS!
As I was saying, it is normal to have a struggle, the issue is what you do with your struggle. Let me give you two biblical examples of how your issue can become your downfall or it can be used to your advantage depending on how you control it.
The apostle Paul

Other than Jesus Christ, Paul was arguably the most influential man in the New Testament. The guy practically wrote half of it. Many of us look at Paul and we pray things like, “Lord, let me be as effective for your Kingdom” or “Lord, let me walk with that sort of boldness and faith”. Those are great prayers, but did you know that Paul still wasn’t perfect? If you read 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, you will see that God gave Paul a thorn in his flesh. Some argue that it was a sickness, some say a struggle, but that is besides the point. The point is that God will allow us to go through certain things that may not be pleasurable, but it will help mold us into His image. Paul says he sought God three times to remove that issue, but Jesus responds to him saying that “His grace is sufficient”. Paul didn’t want to remove his issue to have an easy life, he honestly thought that thing was just a burden to his purpose. Your struggles can push you into the presence of God instead of away from Jesus. I know this thorn in Paul’s flesh may not have been some form of addiction, but it was something he couldn’t shake. Many of you aren’t struggling with “sins”, but you have some spiritual weights that you need to be freed from (Hebrews 12:1). You feel trapped now, but allow that weakness to push you deeper into God’s grace and in His presence.
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Some guy named Judas

Judas is easily the craziest guy in the whole bible. At least, that is how we often view him. For a man to walk side by side with Christ and still manage to not get it right is sort of appalling. However, many of us live the very same way that Judas did. We follow Jesus, but we won’t die to our carnal nature. Judas didn’t appear to have an issue with what Jesus was teaching, because he was more interested in what Jesus was doing with the money (see John 12:4-6). We follow Jesus, but our love for the world continues to get in the way of that. Do you believe that Judas ever loved Jesus? I believe he partially did, he just never placed his addiction under subjection. Paul says that we can preach the gospel and still not make it into the kingdom of God, and Jesus said that many will be doing things for God, but never had a relationship with Him. So yes, it is possible to jump, shout, preach and sing and our hearts still be on the way to Hell. Don’t let that be you. I pray that isn’t me. It will be sad on judgment day if we have helped so many people go to Heaven, but we do not get in because we had a godly appearance, just not the lifestyle or heart (2 Timothy 3:1-5). Are you willing to admit you have issues that God wants to free you from?
But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway. (1 Corinthians 9:27)
If you find yourself not being able to live without someone or something other than Jesus, then that is an idol that you either need to remove out of your life or get it placed back into its rightful place. Many people love their bf/gf or spouse more than anything. Yes, loving others is great, but it should never exceed your love for God. The day you want to be with the person you’re dating more than Christ, you will see your life go downhill and that relationship hurt you in the end. The day we turn to pornography, sex, lust or masturbation in our times of weakness instead of Christ, we will see how much those sins will drain us. If you have to turn to alcohol, drugs, parties, etc. to ease that pain or fill some void, you will continually be empty. Those are just a few issues to name, they are not the only ones God wants to free us from. If we gossip and slander people to make ourselves feel better, God wants us to repent of that as well.
“Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen.” (1 John 5:21)
The woman at the well is a clear example of a person that has a void in their heart and not know how to fill it. She was constantly sleeping with a new man, yet she was empty inside. Jesus saw her emptiness and offered her Himself, the Living Water. When we turn to Jesus instead of to whatever our “vice” is, we will be satisfied. Whenever we turn to our addiction or habit that isn’t pleasing to Him, we are still empty, full of shame and guilt, and desperate for more. Sin will never be satisfied. Sin will always take us further than we planned to go, keep us longer than we planned to stay and take more than we planned to give. I know you feel disgusted by your sin and maybe even in yourself, seeing how you continue to struggle. But that is why we need Jesus. The power of the Holy Ghost can help you overcome every single struggle and issue you face. Please do not condemn yourself. Get back up, repent and keep following Jesus. You may finish this blog and within the next thirty minutes find yourself on some XXX rated website. You may read this and go back to your binge eating to help your sorrows. I’m here to tell you that God is able to deliver you. You are not alone, Jesus is on your side. Do not allow your weakness to push you out of the will of God, allow it to cause you to keep seeking God so that you can permanently break that cycle.


Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore. (Psalms 16:11)


Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. (2 Corinthians 3:17)


There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. (Romans 8:1)


Grace and peace,
Tovares Grey

Feeling Unqualified?

There are many people in the church that absolutely love Jesus, but have some “issues” that prevent them from being confident in who they are. I pray that we get to the understanding that God didn’t pick us because He thought we were perfect. He understands your issues, but He wants your heart.
There is only so much the devil can do, but I know for sure he cannot silence the mouth of a believer that is focused on on the will of God. Job went through a storm and was determined to still trust God (Job 1:20-22). The Hebrew boys decided to not serve a false God despite being threatened to their death (Daniel 3:17-18). Paul and Silas were in prison and decided to still praise God (Acts 16:25). The list goes on with many people who didn’t allow their confidence in God to end.

“So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.” (Hebrews‬ ‭10:35-36‬ ‭NLT‬‬)

Even if our hearts will condemn us at times, the Bible tells us the solution to that feeling: “God is GREATER than our hearts” (1 John 3:20). You know that sin that you feel is to big for grace? It isn’t, God’s love outweigh our mistakes.
Let’s dive into a few scenarios that we all have fell into at some point.
1. You have a bad past that you don’t want to be “exposed”?
Many people don’t understand this simple concept, God is not like humans. God does not forgive some of our sins and keep track of the “big” ones, that is what we do at times. God is not saying “I forgive you on this condition”, but that is what people do. The church has to reach to a point when sinners, and even believers that have fell into sin, feel comfortable enough to come forward and seek healing (see James 5:16 and 1 John 1:8-10). And we also must come to the realization that God is a loving Father, not just a judge. Yes, sin should never be taken lightly, but understand that Jesus died for you on purpose. He knew when you’d fall, so don’t be ashamed of your past. Let your past be your testimony.

Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool. (Isaiah 1:18)

2. You feel as though you don’t have the resources or capability.
I don’t know how your spiritual walk has been, but I know for a fact that sometimes I feel inadequate or simply unable to do what God has called me to do. It’s crazy that I’d think that because He’s the one doing the work, I’m just the vessel. We place so much on ourselves and we don’t even realize all that does is take the glory for ourselves. I pray that God will strip away any pride I may have so that I can do His work willingly and with passion, without fear of how it would turn out. 
Moses didn’t believe he could speak well enough (Exodus 4:10), but God used him. David committed adultery and caused innocent blood to be shed, yet God restored him and called him a man after His own heart (Acts13:22). Paul used to persecute the church. Peter denied Jesus (Matthew 26:70-74). Jonah was disobedient and God gave him another chance; the guy was even suicidal. Pause for a quick second! You can be a child of God and get tempted with those thoughts! Please don’t cave in to suicide, allow God to give you His peace. Your valley moments are when you need to trust God the most, not isolate yourself. As we were….. God can use you despite those things you struggle with. Paul said God gave him a thorn in his flesh to keep him humble (2 Corinthians 12:7-10). Jesus said He would NOT remove the thorn, because His grace was sufficient in our weakness. Quit expecting God to remove those desires and struggles all of the time. God does remove ungodly desires as we spend time with Him. Other times, God allows us to have struggles in our flesh because it FORCES US TO RELY ON HIM FOR STRENGTH. Use your weakness to your advantage, seek God constantly and wholeheartedly.
You lack nothing, use what God gave you. Don’t compare yourself to others, be who God called you to be. You aren’t behind in life, your goal is not to keep up with others, but to be in the will of God.

“Then he answered and spake unto me, saying, This is the word of the Lord unto Zerubbabel, saying, Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the Lord of hosts.” (Zechariah‬ ‭4:6‬)

3. You are still in a sin that you know is wrong, but you don’t want to be delivered.
There is so much to say about this, but the truth is, you may already know it. You know God doesn’t want you out there in sin. You know sex outside of marriage is wrong. You know that stealing, partying, carnal lifestyle isn’t building you up, it’s simply making you numb to the voice of God. I won’t try to scare you straight, because I’m sure God is talking to you already if you’ve read this far. Please, just come home. I say this as a brother in Christ, we need you. There is no such thing as happiness outside of the will of God, it’s only temporary. There’s no peace outside of God’s will, only bondage and a constant need for more even though your flesh won’t be satisfied. Let go of that secret sin, you can’t grow with it.

“Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.”‭‭ (James‬ ‭4:8‬)

I’m convinced that since the devil can’t stop us from getting to Heaven, he will try to stop us from fully realizing Who we belong to. We have to understand that it doesn’t matter what insecurity or “issue” we have, God is faithful and will use us if we allow Him. God works on our willingness, not because of how “great” we are. You can make a difference today, will you allow God to work in your life?

Grace and peace,
Tovares Grey

The Man God is Preparing for Her

There is a process that every male must go through in life. Many boys never become men either because they allow people to control their lives or because they have never submitted to Christ and allowed him to mold them into the man He is preparing them to be. Men, you have to understand that you must go to God before a woman so He can process you. Ladies, you must understand that you cannot force a man to love you who isn’t ready, you will never be good enough.
1. Boys don’t know what they want.
Every boy has a desire to chase after something. However while immature, he will simply go after what looks and feels good not necessarily what is good for them. Which is why just like a parent, God has to teach him what to avoid and what is acceptable. Men, don’t rush this period. Allow God to develop you. Premature dating will lead to broken hearts or offering women what you can’t deliver.
2. Boys are emotionally driven, men are more focused.
Whenever a little boy doesn’t get His way, he’s either ready to fight, whine or shut down internally. That’s not the man God wants His daughters with. God has to work on him so he knows how to operate under pressure and how to lead a family without emotions clouding his judgment. Ladies, don’t spend time on a boy that has you being his second mother. If he can’t be calm and collected, he isn’t fit to lead you. Remember, love is patient and kind. An emotion driven man is the one who tends to abuse women when he can’t verbally express his thoughts or handle his emotions.
3. Men work for what they want, boys want handouts.
I don’t know how you feel about it, but seeing women in control and babying their man is a disgrace. Don’t get me wrong, ladies take care of your man, but no woman should be supporting a lazy man. Ladies shouldn’t have to be raising their husbands, she isn’t his mother. A real man may not have all the degrees in the world, but he knows how to provide, protect and pray for his family. Men, make sure you’re stable with God. A degree doesn’t sustain a relationship, but a connection to Christ will.
4. Good men are hard to find.
No woman should be pursuing a man. So if you think you found a good one, you did not. A real man understands it’s his role to lead in the pursuit. He doesn’t wait on a woman to come to him out of loneliness but he finds a woman with a heart for Christ and ambition that he can grow with.
5. Godly men are under attack.
If you’re paying attention, you can see that there are more women in church than men. And the men you do see in church are either being pressured into fornication, homosexuality, marriage before they’re ready, drugs, alcohol etc. Some of these influences come from within the church as well. You will never understand the struggles a man faces, they need prayer. Don’t say “there are no good men”, and not pray that God rises up men like David, Paul, Samuel, etc. Your prayer can be the breaking point of God saving someone’s husband, child, father. Men are falling, so many are comfortable in secret sins and honestly feel trapped. Prayer and accountability will bring them out.
There’s a process men must go through, pray that they submit to Jesus before trying to lead a woman or any type of ministry. Grace and peace.
– Tovares Grey
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Followers?

The sole purpose of Jesus coming to earth was to take from satan what was originally designed for Him, mankind. We are all born with a sinful nature and are going to rebel against God, even if it wasn’t willfully. Since the fall of Adam, we all needed a savior. That is the reason Jesus came, to put us back in right standing with God. 
 
Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many. (Matthew 20:28)
 
When Jesus came on earth, He didn’t seek popularity. In fact, His ministry didn’t really start until He was 30 (Luke 3:23). When His ministry began, He was concerned more about delivering people, rather than getting people to like Him. Jesus was more concerned about seeing lost souls find their purpose, rather than having a large fan base. There even came a point when He said some statements that caused many to leave Him (John 6:66). He didn’t break down and give up because He knew His purpose was redeeming man, not to be famous. There came times when Jesus would heal someone and would say to keep quiet (Ex: Matthew 8:1-4). There was no fear in Jesus, but He wasn’t seeking attention. Jesus called only 12 men, and because of their ministry, this world has never been the same. 
 
And that, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed. (Romans 13:11)
 
I believe the church has lost focus a bit. We are so concerned about ourselves and fail to realize many do not yet know Jesus. Are you more concerned about who’s following you, rather than who’s following Him? We check our social network followers daily, but how many check to see who’s following Jesus? We have the unfollower apps so we are quick to unfollow someone back, but we should be more focused on who stopped following Jesus. People are still in church but have backslidden in their hearts, maybe it’s your prayer or help that could restore them. The Church has many activities going on and making people believe God is pleased, but is He? Are souls being saved or are lukewarm Christians simply being entertained?
Be careful of what you focus on. Focus on souls, not just followers. The only thing we can bring to heaven is people, but we won’t bring a twitter or Instagram account. The main focus there is Jesus, not how many likes or retweets you got on earth. Stop inviting people to a doctrine, Church or to a party, invite them to Jesus!
 
Too many want titles, the microphone and popularity. Not many dedicate their lives to serving, praying, studying and fasting. The men Jesus picked changed the world because they dropped their identity to follow Jesus. They allowed themselves to be changed by Christ before they shared the Gospel. Too many of us try to follow Jesus, but aren’t willing to let go of our sins, bad company or even sinful behavior. It’s time for us to stop and think about what’s more important, social networks or a relationship with Jesus? Church members or disciples? Don’t point people to yourself, point them to Jesus.
 
– Tovares Grey

Recreational Dating

I have no idea where this trend started, but I hope it ends soon. There’s a new thing going around and I think it’s called “recreational dating”. It serves no purpose, but it kills time. Let’s address it….
Here are five types of recreational daters:
1. The bored man/woman. 
They have absolutely no idea who or what they are after. Therefore causing them to be unstable in their choices and relationships. They will talk to anyone that makes them feel good at the moment, even if they have not known them very long. Then in a few days, weeks, or maybe even a year they will get bored and try to find someone else to entertain them. They surely aren’t seeking commitment, just some quick entertainment. Why would you go to a shopping mall and not plan to buy anything. You will either take something that isn’t yours or leave sad. If you see no future, don’t try to start anything. 
2. The envious man/woman. 
They have no idea what it takes to be in a relationship, how to be a good spouse, or how to make someone happy. They are simply in a relationship because everyone else is doing it. They aren’t seeking Jesus, they are seeking attention (either from social networks or ” arm candy” for public). They cannot stand the idea that they can be happy when single, they are probably afraid of themselves. Some people are in relationships that God didn’t put them in, don’t rush into anything. You may get out of God’s will trying to fit into the world. 
3. Friends with Benefits
Sad to say, but this has even creeped into relationships in church. People are not seeking marriage, but they are seeking sex or someone to perform spouse duties. No man or woman that you aren’t married to should be serving you or sexually fulfilling any of your carnal desires. It’s nothing wrong with being kind to a friend or person of interest, but these people are the ones who don’t want to commit, they just want to reap without sowing anything. Stop wasting your time playing house with that lazy boy and let God make a man out of him. Guys, stop being played by that girl who’s using you for what you have and can give her. Be careful of relationships that drain you and you receive nothing in return. Stay away from anyone that wants you to be a spouse, but aren’t willing to commit. True love leads to Jesus, not sin
4. The Missionary daters:
These are the people that claim to be Christians, but date people that aren’t saved. Who you date or marry tells a lot about yourself. Absolutely no one wholeheartedly following Jesus is going to seek someone that is atheist or living a lukewarm life. You have to keep in mind, the world is a sea of lost people, not a place of potential mates. Our main goal should be to tell them about Jesus, not to use Jesus as a way to reach people we are attracted to. Imagine asking them to pray for you or come to church and they don’t know how to pray or they rather go out and party. That’s simply pointless that you try to connect to someone going to a different eternal destination as you. Amos 3:3 proposes this question, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” Maybe people in relationships with unbelievers don’t really believe in the God they profess to love. 
5. Unrealistic singles 
I say this is the person who is single because they expect their life to be like The Notebook, The Vow, or maybe Cinderella. These people ignore many that like them, to pursue someone that couldn’t care less if they existed. This man will see many beautiful women with hearts after Jesus but will ignore them to pursue the “curvy” girl that lives lukewarm. This lady will ignore the many gentlemen that love Jesus and would treat her right for a guy that is a player and chases skirts instead of Jesus. I don’t know if these people ever get married, I believe they misunderstand what love is. Love is built and can withstand all, lust is a temporary emotion that usually only comes from looks. Stop trying to find Mr./Ms. Perfect, relationships work when two imperfect people depend on a perfect God to keep them together. 
You may not be one of these, and that’s great. However, don’t allow yourself to fall into one of these categories because of a immature mindset. Never feel that you have to do anything that displeases God to get into a relationship, don’t think you have to pretend to be someone to get married and please never feel you can’t be happy when you’re in a season of singleness. Let your life be consumed with Christ, not pointless relationships that are not heading towards marriage.
– Tovares Grey

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Underdeveloped Christians

I’m a person that doesn’t eat breakfast often, but because I know it’s important I try to eat something to start my day now. Yesterday I was boiling two eggs and a cup of tea for breakfast before work. I looked and noticed that the water was bubbling hot. But if I took it out the yoke would have still been there. I just thought about ministry and how sometimes people are called because they look ready but inside they don’t have what it takes yet. Or when we ask for deliverance from a situation but haven’t allowed the situation to develop us yet. Interesting breakfast, right? 
My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. (James 1:2-4)

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Some people love the idea of being used by God so much that they overlook what God is trying to do. We pray, “God, please use me to be a light or to help a broken world”, but do we know what that means? When you pray for wisdom, God will give you difficult times to learn from. When you pray for strength, you may have some burdens to carry. When you ask to be out in the spotlight we must know the spotlight will shine on our flaws as well. That’s why God wants us to stay in development process without rushing. The children of Israel wanted deliverance from Egypt but when they received it their minds were still in bondage. They murmured as if God retired, all because their bodies left Egypt but Egypt never left their minds.
There’s a story of a carrot, egg and coffee bean. They were all boiled, but all had different results. The carrot went in tough, but after the heat it experienced it came out soft. The egg went in soft but came out hard. The coffee bean turned into a drink. You see many of us are ministry going in tough as though we know it all, but end up like the carrot. Weakened by upcoming pressures. Some of us are like the egg, when life sends problems we become so upset and bitter with our experiences. However, God wants us like the coffee bean. When life gives us a hard time, we should not let it hurt us, but we should be able to adjust to it and still give God praise. 
Joseph was sold into slavery by brothers. Lied on by a woman and sent to a prison. Later in life God elevated him and he was used to help his brothers that wanted him dead. When he confessed to his brothers who he was, he told them that it was God that sent him there (Genesis 45:4-8). It was God who allowed him to experience problems. God sent persecution to Paul. God allowed satan to attack Job. God knew the three Hebrew boys would be thrown into fire. Yet in every case, we see that God was always able. Understand that problems and trials aren’t to kill you, but to develop you. Many want to avoid problems, but God said in His Word many are the afflictions of the righteous, but God will deliver us from them all (Psalm 34:19). Today I encourage you, to count it all joy. Trust in God even when things are not the way you want them to be. God is still on the throne no matter our circumstance. 
– Tovares Grey

When we Pray

There is more that God requires of us. Sometimes we read the stories in the Bible and if we aren’t careful, we would think of them as fairy tales. Peter walking on water, Abraham having a child when he’s old, God answering Elijah’s prayer by fire, Joshua praying and the sun literally stopped moving, and the list could go on and on. I believe we sometimes make excuses for ourselves by saying things like “God had to do it then for people to believe, He doesn’t have to do it anymore.” Although God has to do nothing to prove Himself, I believe that’s an excuse for us to not do things that we were empowered to do. 
Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father. (John 14:12)
Of course none of us are perfect, but that doesn’t mean God doesn’t want to use us. Jesus healed the sick, raised the dead, opened blind eyes, gave hearing to deaf ears, and He said that we should be doing what He did and more? There is nothing we cannot do if we make ourselves available to be used by God. No one can preach your sermon, sing your song, write your book or tell your testimony. Don’t be afraid to do what God has called you to do. 

20131112-171433.jpgGod doesn’t care about your ability, He simply desires availability. Whatever it is consuming all of your time, get rid of it. Give that phone, television, or even person a break. God is always speaking in some way to us, but we have to unclog our ears to hear Him. I wonder how many of us are facing mountains that seem immovable. I wonder how many of us are feeling low and weak because of life’s daily challenges. Once you overcome one thing, another seems to knock you down. I advise you to stay down! Stay down on your knees and call out to Jesus one more time. Give God your worries and let Him give you His peace. You may be weak, but God wants to strengthen you one more time. 
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31)
The devil loves to limit our prayer, because prayer limits him. He will keep us busy with everything: school, work, family, loved ones, or even ministry, but he will push us away from prayer. Many are in ministry without a relationship. God is calling us back to prayer, will you spend more time with Jesus? Will you pray a little longer for that unsaved loved one/schoolmate/coworker? Prayer changes things, and it will change you.
– Tovares Grey

Who's my Lord?

Many times today we misunderstand the Bible and think quite deep when it concerns simple principles. For example, we love the phrase “Jesus is Lord”, but I question whether or not we understand it. Without question, Jesus is in control of every situation and nothing can happen (both good and bad) without the approval of God. However, when we begin to say the phrase or even personalize it, “Jesus is my Lord and Savior”, do we mean it?
Lord means Master. Paul once said that He was a slave for Christ, not necessarily belittling himself, but showing his relationship with Jesus. He is a prisoner to the will and purpose of God (Philemon 1:1). Paul didn’t think it was too much for him to be souled out to Christ or to be persecuted for His name, he counted everything as a privilege and served Jesus with passion and love. When you willingly submit yourself as the servant of someone, you are expected to serve them with joy.
And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say? (Luke 6:46)
Let’s reflect on our daily actions (either right now or after reading, think for like two minutes and see where we are spiritually). Am I calling Jesus Lord and living as though He doesn’t exist? Am I a Christian that goes about my schedule living like an atheist? You see, many are in church but they aren’t following Jesus, they want Him to follow them. They make plans before praying and after things are finalized they consult God expecting His approval or blessing. God isn’t going to just meet our every request when it’s for selfish gain. God wants our hearts daily, not just on Sundays and at church services.
I pray right now that every reader will understand my point in writing this, or will see something that makes you want to submit more to Jesus. Remember, God draws closer to those who draw close to close to Him, but He cannot be your Lord when you’re your own god.
Don’t follow yourself, you’ll fail. Follow Jesus and let His spirit guide your life.
Grace and peace,
Tovares Grey

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