Recreational Dating

I have no idea where this trend started, but I hope it ends soon. There’s a new thing going around and I think it’s called “recreational dating”. It serves no purpose, but it kills time. Let’s address it….
Here are five types of recreational daters:
1. The bored man/woman. 
They have absolutely no idea who or what they are after. Therefore causing them to be unstable in their choices and relationships. They will talk to anyone that makes them feel good at the moment, even if they have not known them very long. Then in a few days, weeks, or maybe even a year they will get bored and try to find someone else to entertain them. They surely aren’t seeking commitment, just some quick entertainment. Why would you go to a shopping mall and not plan to buy anything. You will either take something that isn’t yours or leave sad. If you see no future, don’t try to start anything. 
2. The envious man/woman. 
They have no idea what it takes to be in a relationship, how to be a good spouse, or how to make someone happy. They are simply in a relationship because everyone else is doing it. They aren’t seeking Jesus, they are seeking attention (either from social networks or ” arm candy” for public). They cannot stand the idea that they can be happy when single, they are probably afraid of themselves. Some people are in relationships that God didn’t put them in, don’t rush into anything. You may get out of God’s will trying to fit into the world. 
3. Friends with Benefits
Sad to say, but this has even creeped into relationships in church. People are not seeking marriage, but they are seeking sex or someone to perform spouse duties. No man or woman that you aren’t married to should be serving you or sexually fulfilling any of your carnal desires. It’s nothing wrong with being kind to a friend or person of interest, but these people are the ones who don’t want to commit, they just want to reap without sowing anything. Stop wasting your time playing house with that lazy boy and let God make a man out of him. Guys, stop being played by that girl who’s using you for what you have and can give her. Be careful of relationships that drain you and you receive nothing in return. Stay away from anyone that wants you to be a spouse, but aren’t willing to commit. True love leads to Jesus, not sin
4. The Missionary daters:
These are the people that claim to be Christians, but date people that aren’t saved. Who you date or marry tells a lot about yourself. Absolutely no one wholeheartedly following Jesus is going to seek someone that is atheist or living a lukewarm life. You have to keep in mind, the world is a sea of lost people, not a place of potential mates. Our main goal should be to tell them about Jesus, not to use Jesus as a way to reach people we are attracted to. Imagine asking them to pray for you or come to church and they don’t know how to pray or they rather go out and party. That’s simply pointless that you try to connect to someone going to a different eternal destination as you. Amos 3:3 proposes this question, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” Maybe people in relationships with unbelievers don’t really believe in the God they profess to love. 
5. Unrealistic singles 
I say this is the person who is single because they expect their life to be like The Notebook, The Vow, or maybe Cinderella. These people ignore many that like them, to pursue someone that couldn’t care less if they existed. This man will see many beautiful women with hearts after Jesus but will ignore them to pursue the “curvy” girl that lives lukewarm. This lady will ignore the many gentlemen that love Jesus and would treat her right for a guy that is a player and chases skirts instead of Jesus. I don’t know if these people ever get married, I believe they misunderstand what love is. Love is built and can withstand all, lust is a temporary emotion that usually only comes from looks. Stop trying to find Mr./Ms. Perfect, relationships work when two imperfect people depend on a perfect God to keep them together. 
You may not be one of these, and that’s great. However, don’t allow yourself to fall into one of these categories because of a immature mindset. Never feel that you have to do anything that displeases God to get into a relationship, don’t think you have to pretend to be someone to get married and please never feel you can’t be happy when you’re in a season of singleness. Let your life be consumed with Christ, not pointless relationships that are not heading towards marriage.
– Tovares Grey


Underdeveloped Christians

I’m a person that doesn’t eat breakfast often, but because I know it’s important I try to eat something to start my day now. Yesterday I was boiling two eggs and a cup of tea for breakfast before work. I looked and noticed that the water was bubbling hot. But if I took it out the yoke would have still been there. I just thought about ministry and how sometimes people are called because they look ready but inside they don’t have what it takes yet. Or when we ask for deliverance from a situation but haven’t allowed the situation to develop us yet. Interesting breakfast, right? 
My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. (James 1:2-4)

Some people love the idea of being used by God so much that they overlook what God is trying to do. We pray, “God, please use me to be a light or to help a broken world”, but do we know what that means? When you pray for wisdom, God will give you difficult times to learn from. When you pray for strength, you may have some burdens to carry. When you ask to be out in the spotlight we must know the spotlight will shine on our flaws as well. That’s why God wants us to stay in development process without rushing. The children of Israel wanted deliverance from Egypt but when they received it their minds were still in bondage. They murmured as if God retired, all because their bodies left Egypt but Egypt never left their minds.
There’s a story of a carrot, egg and coffee bean. They were all boiled, but all had different results. The carrot went in tough, but after the heat it experienced it came out soft. The egg went in soft but came out hard. The coffee bean turned into a drink. You see many of us are ministry going in tough as though we know it all, but end up like the carrot. Weakened by upcoming pressures. Some of us are like the egg, when life sends problems we become so upset and bitter with our experiences. However, God wants us like the coffee bean. When life gives us a hard time, we should not let it hurt us, but we should be able to adjust to it and still give God praise. 
Joseph was sold into slavery by brothers. Lied on by a woman and sent to a prison. Later in life God elevated him and he was used to help his brothers that wanted him dead. When he confessed to his brothers who he was, he told them that it was God that sent him there (Genesis 45:4-8). It was God who allowed him to experience problems. God sent persecution to Paul. God allowed satan to attack Job. God knew the three Hebrew boys would be thrown into fire. Yet in every case, we see that God was always able. Understand that problems and trials aren’t to kill you, but to develop you. Many want to avoid problems, but God said in His Word many are the afflictions of the righteous, but God will deliver us from them all (Psalm 34:19). Today I encourage you, to count it all joy. Trust in God even when things are not the way you want them to be. God is still on the throne no matter our circumstance. 
– Tovares Grey

Godly Man vs Church boy

Ladies, this one is for you. I’ve noticed that many times women set themselves apart to be virtuous women and to get a good husband. That is respectable, but how does she know if that guy is from God or he’s just a random distraction along her path? Here are a few tips to be aware of.
1. A Godly man is in church for Jesus, a church boy goes to see what’s going on or which girl he can get next.
Ladies, before you develop feelings for this guy, watch his spiritual life. A Godly man may not be perfect, but he wholeheartedly tries to follow a perfect God. Watch him to see if he’s growing or trying to grow, and not just attending service and jumping from girl to girl.
2. A Godly man will lead you to Jesus, a church boy will lead you to either himself or his bedroom.
It’s hard to remain pure in a culture where sex sells and it seems that you’re the only one trying to honor God in your body. But I have news for you, everyone isn’t doing it. A Godly man will respect your purity and will protect it at all costs. A Godly man will rather break off the relationship than have you stumble, a church boy wouldn’t mind if you compromised your purity.
3. A Godly man isn’t materialistic, a church boy is.
Be careful of any guy that cares more about “swag”, money, fashion, and Instagram follows than he does about about his walk with God. A Godly man may not have much, but if he has Jesus he has everything he needs. He won’t be seeking ways to get ahead all the time, he will be praying for others to be blessed.
4. A Godly man prays, a church boy preys.
Examine his lifestyle. A man that prays a lot realizes he needs Jesus or else he will fail. If he can pray and reach God, he can surely lead you and a family. Remember that your future sons will imitate him, don’t waste time on a boy that preys on available girls.
5. A Godly man will see more than your looks, a church boy will see your body.
Looks fade, shapes change, and the person you are at 21 will not be the same at 35. Don’t be with someone who is immature and only wants beauty to show off to his friends. Does he even know your likes and dislikes? A Godly man will call you beautiful and mean it, a church boy will flirt around and call you sexy because that’s what’s on his mind…SEX!
It’s okay to desire a relationship, but it’s dangerous when you’re willing to walk away from Jesus to get one. Keep God first. Don’t lose sight of Jesus because of attention from a church boy, wait on a Godly man that’ll lead you to Jesus. Grace and peace.
– Tovares Grey


When we Pray

There is more that God requires of us. Sometimes we read the stories in the Bible and if we aren’t careful, we would think of them as fairy tales. Peter walking on water, Abraham having a child when he’s old, God answering Elijah’s prayer by fire, Joshua praying and the sun literally stopped moving, and the list could go on and on. I believe we sometimes make excuses for ourselves by saying things like “God had to do it then for people to believe, He doesn’t have to do it anymore.” Although God has to do nothing to prove Himself, I believe that’s an excuse for us to not do things that we were empowered to do. 
Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father. (John 14:12)
Of course none of us are perfect, but that doesn’t mean God doesn’t want to use us. Jesus healed the sick, raised the dead, opened blind eyes, gave hearing to deaf ears, and He said that we should be doing what He did and more? There is nothing we cannot do if we make ourselves available to be used by God. No one can preach your sermon, sing your song, write your book or tell your testimony. Don’t be afraid to do what God has called you to do. 

20131112-171433.jpgGod doesn’t care about your ability, He simply desires availability. Whatever it is consuming all of your time, get rid of it. Give that phone, television, or even person a break. God is always speaking in some way to us, but we have to unclog our ears to hear Him. I wonder how many of us are facing mountains that seem immovable. I wonder how many of us are feeling low and weak because of life’s daily challenges. Once you overcome one thing, another seems to knock you down. I advise you to stay down! Stay down on your knees and call out to Jesus one more time. Give God your worries and let Him give you His peace. You may be weak, but God wants to strengthen you one more time. 
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31)
The devil loves to limit our prayer, because prayer limits him. He will keep us busy with everything: school, work, family, loved ones, or even ministry, but he will push us away from prayer. Many are in ministry without a relationship. God is calling us back to prayer, will you spend more time with Jesus? Will you pray a little longer for that unsaved loved one/schoolmate/coworker? Prayer changes things, and it will change you.
– Tovares Grey

Blessed After Barreness

What do you do when you pray and don’t get an answer? What do you do when you get worked up rebuking sickness and disease, and you didn’t even notice it isn’t the devil attacking you, it’s God’s will for your life? What do you do when you pray for a husband or wife, but God delays them because He wants you focused on Him? Please stay with me, I’m sure some people are looking at my post with a mean look already… I just want us to reflect on God’s Word for a second, has anyone in the bible ever lived without an obstacle? Once we decide to live for Jesus, we have to know that God will allow us to go through persecution and we will have some problems. 
Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution. (2 Timothy 3:12)
Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all. (Psalms 34:19)

I wonder where we get our false interpretations of the Bible from. God loves us so much that He decided to die for us, but that doesn’t mean life will always be the way we want it. We have become so greedy seeking more money, more blessings, more, more, more.. It’s kind of sad because some of us don’t know that we are blessed to be a blessing, not to feed our greed. I wonder if anyone knows that the prayer, “God, please use me for your glory” does not only mean I will be a famous singer, preacher, minister, evangelist/missionary. It also means “God I will suffer for you to be glorified”, “Jesus I will die preaching your name”, or “God if you take me through a season of lack to teach me only You can satisfy and provide, I will not complain and I will trust You”. Be careful what you pray for, Christianity is a radical thing and you have to be serious if you’re for Jesus. 
And a certain scribe came, and said unto him, Master, I will follow thee whithersoever thou goest. And Jesus saith unto him, The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head. (Matthew 8:19-20)
What I’ve realized is that everyone wants God to bless them, but no one wants to go through a season of barreness. We want to experience sunshine and rainbows, and never see storms. We want to stay on the mountain top and not see the valley. We want to live in luxury and not have to wear the same clothing everyday. I’ve noticed that God didn’t call us to a state of comfort, relaxation and complacency in this present world. Don’t get me wrong, God’s will isn’t for you to have nothing and live a “bad” life, but if you look all through the bible you’ll see many have struggled before they were blessed: Jesus wasn’t glorified until He was crucified, Paul suffered but preached Christ with joy and Job lost almost everything he loved and owned and it was God who put him in that situation.
God closes doors!
Process that for a second…. The bible says God made Hannah barren (1 Samuel 1:5). We must ask God for wisdom instead of for deliverance, because God sometimes is preparing us for great blessings. I pray that this post encourages you to keep praying like Hannah. She didn’t give up! She was mocked and ridiculed for something she could not change! God closed her womb and she prayed and prayed, the priest didn’t even understand her pain and thought she was drunk. People won’t understand your process, but be patient and God will give you the promise. So if you want God to give you Samuel, be prepared to go through a process. Your Samuel may be a literal child, healing, a new jobs etc., but whatever it may be, be patient for it. Your problems are temporary, God is eternal. He will come through. Some of us only want things to boast or because others had it (James 4:3). God wasn’t going to give her a child just to be equal to Peninnah, but when she said she will offer Samuel back to God, He gave her the child. God blesses us when we have the right motives.
And the Lord appeared to Solomon by night, and said unto him, I have heard thy prayer, and have chosen this place to myself for an house of sacrifice. If I shut up heaven that there be no rain, or if I command the locusts to devour the land, or if I send pestilence among my people; If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. (2 Chronicles 7:12-14)
– Tovares Grey