What does a “godly” man even look like? Most have their opinion, some good and some bad. Well how does God portray a real man? Ladies, before you jump off the ledge with a clown, read this and see how a man really should act. Men, before you go chasing a woman for marriage or you’re just reading this because you desire more of Jesus in your life, I’m praying this can help you. What exactly makes him “godly”? Let’s see!
1. Godly men spend time with God.
It’s very easy to look spiritual. You can attend church and you can post scriptures on social media because you love God, but that doesn’t mean you spend time with God. We have to be intentional about our growth. It’s easy to let hours go by without acknowledging God. We can Netflix, play sports, video games and basically do nothing for an entire day. We may never be able to “find” time to seek God, but we have to make the time to grow. Our hearts and minds are bombarded by distractions, so we must make the deliberate choice to shut everything down and open our bibles. To turn off the screen and get down on our knees to pray. To decide to not go out with the friends one day and go on a fast. We have to develop a hunger for God in order to live godly lives.
The true measure of a believer is not in how high they jump in the service, but how straight they walk according to God’s will after. Spiritual growth does not happen by accident. We don’t find God by accident, we must be intentional. In my opinion, it shows maturity when you can spend time with God even when it feels “boring”. Pushing past your feelings, because you know that God is worthy despite how you “feel”.
Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. (Matthew 5:6)
2. Godly men are bold.
No man who knows his worth in Christ will ever feel the need to be shy or be afraid of anyone’s opinion of their lives. That doesn’t mean we all should be the outgoing and “extrovert” type just because we love God, but none of us who understand our worth will allow fear and insecurities to cripple our spiritual walk. All of the disciples that Jesus held close to Him weren’t the smartest alive. However, they spoke with authority, power and with wisdom because they were being led by the spirit of Christ (see Acts 4:13).
If a man is interested in a woman, he will pursue her. He will not wait on a woman to be interested in him. He will seek God, pursue her, and do everything within his power to win her affection. Godly men know what they want and they won’t settle for less. That doesn’t mean he will force a woman to love him back, but he will go out of his way to win over her heart. So ladies, if a man doesn’t pursue you, that can only mean three things:
- He is NOT interested.
- He is NOT ready for a commitment.
- He is interested, but too shy to speak. If he is, that doesn’t mean throw yourself at him to break the ice. Some men are just not that confident, especially around a beautiful woman. But he should be willing to get past that if he is interested. I do not believe a woman should pursue a man, I do not believe the bible supports that (Proverbs 18:22). However, that does not mean you can’t make a friend and pray that God tells him to pursue you (you ladies know that you do that already).
The wicked flee when no man pursueth: but the righteous are bold as a lion. (Proverbs 28:1)
3. Godly men try to lead others, not control them.
There’s probably nothing worse than someone who demands respect, but they don’t deserve it. You can’t expect your wife to submit to you, and you’re controlling instead of leading her. You can’t expect your friends to see you as a godly example to emulate, if you are condemning them rather than loving them and living how Jesus lived. The fruit of the spirit is self-control, not people-control. Manipulation and control are characteristics of the devil, not the spirit of God. If Jesus Himself does not seek to control us, then we should not be doing that to anyone else. Controlling boyfriends/girlfriends will become controlling spouses, so please do not settle. You shouldn’t have to cut off friends or social media to “make them happy”. You shouldn’t have to “report” to them with your whereabouts. BOUNDARIES ARE IMPORTANT, but please understand that is different from being controlled.
And if you have been accused of this, It’s not to say that you’re going to Hell and you’re such a terrible person. You just have to learn to see people as people, instead of objects. You also need to learn that God is in control and it is okay to trust Him, instead of expecting you will always have it figured out or you always need to control the situation.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22-23 ESV)
4. Godly men exercise consistency and discipline.
Paul never felt like he reached his highest level, he continued to strive to get deeper into God’s presence (Philippians 3:7-10). I like to use Paul as an example a lot because I feel like he is the best example on how God is able to turn your life around no matter how bad your past was. Jesus tells us that the people who hunger and thirst after righteousness will be filled (Matthew 5:6). It’s one thing to confess that you love Jesus, but that is something that must be shown in your consistent efforts in seeking Him. When it is tempting to get lazy and complacent in your spiritual life, you have to be willing to dive into the Word of God. When you are tempted to compromise your walk with God, be willing to say “this isn’t worth my intimacy with Jesus”.
I used to struggle with a particular issue so much that I had to seek help from my mentor. He showed me how to get over the issue with advice, prayer and the scriptures. I “overcame”, but I was back in my mess in just a few weeks or months later. I have come to realize that we fall into sin when we get complacent with our walk with God (1 Corinthians 10:12-13). Unless we are consistently seeking God for help, that thorn in our flesh will continue to be a stumbling-block for us. However, the more we seek Jesus for help with our issues, is the more we will see that His grace is sufficient and that His strength is made perfect in our weakness (see 2 Corinthians 12:7-10).
And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. (Galatians 5:24)
5. Godly men guard their purity
Now before you think I just said godly men are some form of biblical superheroes, let me clarify. No I did not say they cannot fall, I said they guard their purity. Falling into sexual temptation has to be the easiest thing to do on planet earth. You had to go out of your way to see something or do something inappropriate a few years ago. Now, I can pull out my smartphone and I’m free to lust over anything moving. I cannot tell you the amount of times I’ve went on YouTube for one thing, and the suggested videos are showing me nonsense. Let’s not even mention Social Media’s negative influence on our efforts to live pure. However, that is no excuse to fall. The devil can tempt us, but we can choose to not indulge in it. It’s one thing to notice a lustful image or see someone dressed immodestly. But what I think and what I allow my heart to desire is fully up to me.
We all know David fell into sin with Bathsheba, He saw a beautiful woman taking a shower and decided he had to have her. Instead of turning away, he allowed lust to take over. If you know that what you’re looking at is ungodly and not God’s will for your life (porn, inappropriate images on social media, etc.), then please stop before it leads further down a path of immorality and emptiness.
“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman.” (Job 31:1 NLT)
6. Godly men are human
Many people will read this blog title and believe I am setting some false illusion of what all men must be or they aren’t true Christians. But the truth is, godly men are always going to be a work in progress. If you were perfect, you wouldn’t need Jesus. So many people are walking in shame today because they’ve slipped, but there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus and trying to pursue Him daily (Romans 8:1). God sees when we are striving to please Him with our actions. If you aren’t where you need to be, then draw closer to God. The bible says God will draw closer to us if we draw closer to Him (James 4:8). “No one is perfect” and “I’m only human” is not an excuse for sin, but it is the reason why we have to just allow ourselves to depend on God’s grace daily. Let God order your steps so you can be a light to others.
The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand. (Psalms 37:23-24)
Grace and peace.