A Love Letter from Jesus

My child, don’t let this world cause you to lose sight of me. I see you, I made you, I know the thoughts that I think towards you (Jeremiah 29:11). I want to bless you, but I need you to follow and trust me. You cannot earn my grace or my love, and you won’t lose it, but I need you to stay in my will. 
Many times you chased behind certain people that you didn’t need in your life, but I allowed you to go after them for you to see that they will never complete you. You chased that girl and she broke your heart. You chased that guy and he didn’t treat you how you deserved. I tried to warn you but you never noticed they were bad for you, but I want you to learn from those experiences. I am with you. I am with you. I will always be with you. Will you come to me? I beg of you to open your eyes and stop being amazed by the glory this world offers and see that it is all temporary! I love you and the place I am preparing is more beautiful than you could imagine. 
I see your pain. Not only do I see your pain, but I feel it (Hebrews 4:15). I understand your feelings and I know what it means to feel abandoned. I only came to this earth to redeem my people, and the people that I came for still rejected me (John 1:11). Yet your rejection will not stop my love for you. My love will continue to pursue you and change you if you allow it to. My love will bring healing, not a spouse. My love will restore you, not a person. My love will convict you, but it won’t condemn you. Stop trying to figure out why I love you and allow me to love you. 
The days are short and I am soon to return. Will you be chasing after me when I return or will I still find you pursuing worldly things? You can get that spouse and lose sight of me. You can get that job and lose sight of me. You can gain popularity and lose sight of me. However, when you pursue me first and my kingdom, I will take care of you. So come, come unto me and I will give you the rest that your soul desires. I love you.” 
– Jesus 
 

Don't Text Me because you're Bored

We all have those people in our lives that only come back to us when they have no one else entertaining their drama. You know, that ex that left you for someone else, but comes back when that relationship is failing? The person who you had to drop because the relationship only connected on a physical level, but they hit you up hoping you dropped Jesus?
“Hey stranger…”
Some people will only hit you up after you drop a nice selfie. They see you looking happy and they want to pop back up to see if that door is still opened. If someone can jump in and out of your life, that means you are not moving forward, neither are you closing the door to the person God removed from your life. One of the most dangerous things you can do in a relationship is give a permanent position to a temporary person.
Why give life to something that God killed? God will block the enemy from poisoning our hearts and minds from fruitless relationships, but we must decide to stop running back to the person He protected us from. Some relationships only lead to sexual sins, why respond to the messages? Some connections only lead to arguments, why keep hanging out with them? You think you are saving them? False, the bible warns us against connecting to the wrong relationships. 
Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. (1 Corinthians 15:33)
Quit giving the enemy access, guard your heart. Be extreme, let people say you are taking Jesus too seriously. You realized your brokenness the day God saved you from your sin, why run back to the lifestyle that doesn’t satisfy? Believers, you are better than what the enemy offers, and you are surely greater than your past. 

Declare this over yourself- I am worth more than a late night fling, I am worth the wait. I will not keep running back to the wo/man that God didn’t place in my life. I am not going to keep dating until I find purpose, my purpose is in Christ and I will wait until He leads me to the right person. 


So the next time you get that text saying they miss you, understand that they need prayer for restoration in Christ, not you. Don’t be a victim of another person’s boredom. 
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. (Proverbs 4:23) 
 

5 things ALL Singles Need to do!

There are a few things every single should do before they think about marriage. Besides, why pray for something that you aren’t preparing yourself to handle? It’s easy to lose your blessing when your character isn’t ready to maintain it. So here are five quick things to do before marriage:
1. Seek God
One drastic thing people forget to do is to seek God. The first step to finding a “godly relationship” is to first find God. We often think a relationship will build our walk with God, but we must first have a relationship with God. Dating the wrong person can also slow it down. If you aren’t growing spiritually already, then you’ll only be more distracted when someone else is in your life. 
We have to first see God as number one in our lives and build our lives around our walk with Him, or else when someone becomes a part of our walk we will eventually fall so in love with them that we fail to realize that God isn’t anywhere in that equation. 
God can’t bless a relationship that excludes Him. So be sure you’re seeking Christ so you’ll find someone else who’s actively doing the same thing. 
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” Proverbs‬ ‭3:5-6‬ ‭
2. Stop seeking unsaved people to convert and marry.
Many times we fall into sin or end up heartbroken is because we pursued what God didn’t want us to have. You see, God wouldn’t send someone your way and all that person does is lead you into sin or provoke lustful thoughts in you. God doesn’t tempt us with evil (James 1:13), so if you see a temptation coming you have to see the devil is feeding off of our sinful desires. 
Many of us just don’t take the bible seriously and that’s why the world is in such a corrupt state. Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 6:14 to not be “equally yoked with unbelievers”. What does that mean? To be connected to one another to the point where you go where they go. They used to yoke animals together so they can plow in the same direction. It’s clear you’ll interact with nonbelievers, but that doesn’t mean to take it further to the point where you’re emotionally connected. So understand this, when you’re connected to someone you’re going where they are going for the most part. If you date an unsaved person, you’ll be heading towards sin more than they’ll be heading towards righteousness. Understand that many people make mistakes and date non believers and God can always save them, but we can’t use that as the rule. God’s word said not to connect to a nonbeliever because we can’t change them, only God can change them so it makes sense to find someone God has already saved rather than risk your walk with God in order to find companionship. 
“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”
‭‭Amos‬ ‭3:3‬ ‭
3. Work on you.
Many people keep pursuing the “perfect one” for them, but are forgetting that person is also looking for someone of substance. We have to bring more to the table than our looks. 
I understand that everyone won’t have degrees or the highest paying jobs and that is perfectly fine, but have you learned how to do simple things like cook or clean? The time we spend single and pursuing everyone that interests us could also be spent investing into ourselves. 
Not having a brand new hairstyle or outfit every week isn’t what’s stopping you from finding God’s will. Sometimes we are stopping ourselves from a Christ centered relationship because we are seeking people rather than allowing Christ to direct us. 
4. Find your identity in Christ. 
The reason many don’t know their purpose in life is because they are seeking to find their worth in someone else. We can’t base our worth based on anything that we can lose. If you wait until someone else comes along to say that you are beautiful, you are appreciated or to compliment you, you forget to see that God already says that about us. God’s word says you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14). 
Start seeing yourself the way God sees you so you don’t need anyone else to fill a void in your life. Relationships are only to add to your life, God is the one who gives meaning to our lives. Colossians 2:10 says that we are complete in Christ. Stop trying to find someone else to do what Christ has already done.
“For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me the fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water.” Jeremiah‬ ‭2:13‬ ‭
5. Get over your ex!
Many are rushing into relationships in order to be restored from previous hurt. God wants to heal you and restore you back into Him when you fall short or have been heartbroken, it isn’t fair to expect a new person to fill that void. If you still hate your ex or want to get back with them, you shouldn’t pursue someone else.
You shouldn’t ever hate your ex, no matter what they did. If they hurt you, pray for God to save them and work on them. But always pray for God’s will, because it makes no sense for us to chase something that God doesn’t want us a part of. I wouldn’t want to restore a relationship that God isn’t glorified and He was the one who separated us for our protection. 
“I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians‬ ‭3:14‬ ‭
Grace and peace,
Tovares Grey 
 

Entertaining My Destruction

It’s easy to be distracted! In fact, I should’ve posted this blog maybe hours ago and kept getting sidetracked with reshaping the blog and other things (which I am still doing, ha!). How many times have you been distracted? Chasing that guy or girl, pursuing money, or simply doing everything but sitting before the Lord and crying out to Him for more of His presence?
There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness. (Proverbs 30:12)
Sometimes, I just have to thank God for being merciful. There has been plenty of times I’ve decided that enough is enough and that I won’t let God down again…. Then I would fall into the same sin. You see, we keep trying not to “let down” a God that we don’t hold up. God wants us to let go of our own pursuits and our will and embrace His. You see, we can’t overcome sin by ourselves. We can only be free in Jesus, and when we are free we must continue to walk in Him or else what we shook off will cling back on us. God’s word says that when we were baptized, we “put on Christ” (Galatians 3:27). The word of God also says to “put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof”. So this shows us that even though we are children of God, we must choose to put on Jesus everyday. To consciously decide to live what the Bible says, not just attend service and be comfortable there. The very same way we put on clothes everyday before we leave home, we must learn to put on Christ going out into this world.
But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. (James 1:22)
The very same way we can decide to live consecrated and pure lives for Jesus is the same way we can decide to not live the way He wants us to. We can choose to go right back to the darkness and entertain the world, but it won’t be God’s fault that we are still empty. Money, popularity, sex, etc. just cannot satisfy a void in man’s life. If it did, we wouldn’t have rich celebrities committing suicide, chasing more money and attention if it completed them. God is the only one who can satisfy and give our lives meaning, purpose and direction.
It’s funny how people blame a God that they don’t believe in. You can’t push God out of society and then blame him when tragedy happens. If we loved one another the way God intended, we would have no confusion on this earth. If we take God out of schools but place bibles in prison, what message are we really sending? Maybe less people would end up in prison if we allowed our children and our lives to be centered around Christ.
Listen to this, and I won’t even try to be deep about it, we will never find peace and happiness outside of Christ. That ex who led you into sin and a heart full of brokenness is going to lead you back to the same position. So why go back expecting different results? Even the “good” wo/man you may have now will lead you to destruction if they aren’t following Jesus and strengthening you spiritually. That pornography/lustful images you see on social media nowadays is only poison that is slowly desensitizing you. You will eventually be in bondage to perversion if you don’t take a stand.
People have the wrong idea of Jesus sometimes. The bible labels God as a “man of war” (Exodus 15:3). The bible mentions Jesus turning over tables when He saw the house of God being turned away from prayer to selfish gain (Matthew 21:13). You must understand that just like our lord, we must learn to fight! Take a stand against the attacks the enemy sends. “No weapon formed against the people of God will prosper”, true, but every spirit that we entertain has access into our lives. Are you pressing towards God and taking a stand against satan? Either you are fighting or you have already surrendered your spirit to defeat, heartache and pain.
Grace and peace,
Tovares Grey
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Dealing With the Root

I don’t know about everyone else, but I know my struggles. They are clear as day and I know where I need to make adjustments even though sometimes I may pretend to be blind to them. My question that I want you to answer to yourself truthfully is this: Do I have a reoccurring sin or struggle in my life that aims to weigh me down every time I try to go forward? Maybe you don’t have one and that’s fine, I don’t believe you but that is okay. The first step to growth is realizing change needs to be made.
So the bible says in Hebrews 12:1 to lay aside every weight and the sin that easily trips us up. A weight is something in our lives that may not be sinful, but they are very well distracting. Playing video games, hours of netflix/social media/or liking material things may not be sins whatsoever, but they become idols when they consume all of our time, affection and attention. Many times I’ve cut off my “weights”, but I realized that in a matter of hours, days or weeks I will definitely be back in the same sin or bondage. Why? Why is it that we can be sincere when we cry out to God and still go back to the same sin/distraction that we know cannot satisfy our souls?

When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none. Then he saith, I will return into my house from whence I came out; and when he is come, he findeth it empty, swept, and garnished. Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation. (Matthew 12:43-45)

Jesus lets us know clearly that the spiritual battle we are in is much more serious than some people believe. If God frees you from bondage, that is such a remarkable thing. I praise God for deliverance, but that is just the beginning. You have to understand that God did his part and now it is time for you to do yours. The bible says that this man’s spirit was swept and garnished, but still empty. Too many of us have the masks on that make us look so spiritual from the outside. God cleansed us and it’s even obvious in our demeanor, but what happens when there is no substance within us? You will simply fall back into the same sin later and sometimes things even worse.
For example, if you ask God to deliver you from masturbation or pornography. God can very well forgive you, cleanse you and give you a new beginning. But do you think He can force you to have godly desires? He can push you in the right direction but you have to move your feet. You would have to decide to open your bible and pray rather than engaging in things that could lead to those struggles. Right? If God freed you from that relationship that was just pure lust, fornication and adultery. Yes, He will forgive, but do you think He can force you to delete their number or the pictures? Can He force us to unfollow them and stop stalking their page? You see God knows you will have memories and be tempted to go back to where He delivered you from, but God doesn’t want to cut off your temptation, He wants to strip you of your desire to go back to them.


Three Ways to Overcome Your Ungodly Desires

  1. Stop acting like you do not know it’s wrong.
    1. God will not send you anything to distract you from Him.
    2. If you have to hide, cover it, or keep it secretive, it needs to go! David never wanted Bathsheba’s husband to be around until he didn’t want to take responsibility for the child that he shouldn’t have brought into the world. David was warned by his men before he sent for her, he knew she was married. Never ignore your warning.
    3. Many times we know within ourselves something feels wrong, but we try to avoid the voice of God. That isn’t just your conscious bothering you, that’s God telling you to stop playing with fire! We cannot twist scripture to justify our lifestyles, we must use scriptures to transform the way we live.
  2. Replace it!
    1. I’ve cut off many things, connections and environments to get closer to God. Sometimes I’ve returned right back to it, which is ridiculous. We have to replace these ungodly desires with ones that please God.
    2. Letting go of a lustful relationship is great, but what are you going to do after? So many of us “cut someone off”, but we never use our new free time to spend time with God. So now all of your free time is spent going through old pictures, reminiscing, and thinking about them. Eventually your body will go after what your heart and mind is focused on.
    3. Let’s say you struggle with music that you know is filth (I am not going to tell you what to listen to). So you cut off anything that you feel distracts you. However, you never replaced it with Christian music or something that uplifts your soul, eventually you’ll go back to what keeps your heart focused on everything except God. Or you like books like 50 Shades of Grey, you know its trash but you will go right back to it if you don’t feed your spirit with the bible, Christian books, or things that can benefit your mind and spirit.
  3. Consistency
    1. It is easy to walk on the straight and narrow road, but the challenge is in our consistency. We have to let our commitment keep us when the emotions are gone. I can say “I love You, Jesus” at church, but the challenge comes outside of the building and the temptations arise.
    2. Don’t think consistency means you won’t fail, but it means you are wise enough to get back up and get your eyes on the prize.
      1. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:8-9)
      2. The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand. (Psalms 37:23-24)
    3. The devil knows your weaknesses, he studies us and knows more about us than some of us know about ourselves. He knows what you like and He will wait a day or years to catch us to let our guards down. He will allow you to read this and be encouraged or convicted, and still tempt you before the day is over if you aren’t careful. So it is not enough to be committed today and relax tomorrow. Part-time Christians will never overcome fighting against full-time demons. Keep your guard up.
      1. You may think it’s okay to go back to sinful environments now that you are delivered, but you have to be realistic with yourself. Don’t say you are going to the club to be a witness for Jesus, and you know within yourself that a half naked person can pull your mind right back into sin and tempt you.
      2. Don’t say “God delivered me from being an alcoholic/drug addict, I can handle a drink or two/one puff won’t kill me”. Playing with fire will cause you to get burned. 

Before we think that people need to stop tempting us to sin, remember that we are only tempted when its things of our own sinful nature (James 1:14). You can’t tempt me to steal because I won’t budge, I never struggle with that. There are other things I have to battle with daily. In order to live a life of victory, it’s time to stop entertaining ourselves that keep us walking in defeat. 
It is not that hard to live for God, but it’s only easy when we choose to realize that the things He freed us from were not that great. Sin has temporary pleasure, but never a lasting peace after. Joy and real pleasure is only found when we get in the presence of God; we need to get into His presence if we want to see the proof that nothing this world has to offer is able to compare (Psalms 16:11). People think Christians are slaves to rules, but they are really slaves to feelings, sin and are empty. What we have in Christ is better than what we gave up to follow Him. It’s time to let God deal with the root of our “sin problem”, our deceitful and desperately wicked hearts.
Grace and peace,
Tovares Grey

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Idolizing Marriage

I hope the title alone didn’t scare away many readers because they feel as though I’ll condemn their marriage obsession. Marriage is good, God himself decided that it wasn’t good for man to be alone, but what happens when God’s people desire marriage as the ultimate goal of life? Let’s dig into identifying whether or not if we have an obsession with marriage, is that desire good or bad and let’s see what God’s word has to say about it.
What does it mean to “Idolize marriage”?
To idolize something is horrible, and not just because it is a sin, but when you idolize something you place that thing/person before God. Having an idol can make a “good” thing a “God” thing. We never really know it because it’s not like we literally bow down to these idols (I hope not), but we give them more of our heart, time and care than everything else. When entertainment, a relationship, sports, etc gets more time than God, there goes your idol. Of course things like our families, work and school will all require extra time and care, but we must never allow ourselves to put all of our time and trust in them rather than in God.
But I digress, what does it mean to idolize marriage?
  1. When you idolize marriage, you want to be married more than you want God. 
    1. Now many of us will say, “of course I want God more”, but the truth is shown in our thoughts. Many of us say we desire God more, but we spend more time talking to everyone except Him. Now of course faith without works is dead and you will have to at some point get up from prayer and actually hold a conversation with someone, but how can God lead you if you are spending no time with Him?
    2. Some of us spend too much time listening to how we feel rather than listening to God. Listening to feelings and memories will block God’s voice in our lives. Our hearts will deceive us (Jeremiah 17:9) and lead us to the wrong people, but we will never go astray when we study God’s word and make prayer a habit rather than a morning/bedtime routine.
  2. When you idolize marriage, you live your life as though happiness begins at “I do”.
    1. And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power: (Colossians 2:10)
    2. In case you forgot or never read it in the bible, a man or woman cannot complete you, only God can. Many times we seek in people what can only be found in God. Someone else is supposed to come along and add to your life, not complete you. Marriage is not a destination for us believers, it is just another part of a beautiful journey that we should already be enjoying because God is with us.
    3. When God said that it wasn’t good for man to be alone, Adam was not sitting down bored when God decided to make a woman. Adam was already working and ruling the way that God wanted him to and then God saw the need to give him help. If you are sitting down doing nothing and claiming to be waiting on God, don’t expect Him to reward laziness. God wants you active in church, your community and doing more than seeking marriage with your life.

So what’s your point? God wants us to get married!
Yes, God does want you to get married, but does he want you to worship the idea of marriage or does He want you to live for Him because only He can satisfy?
Why is desiring marriage a good thing?

  1. It is not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18).
  2. Two are better than one (Ecclesiastes 4:9).
  3. It is normal to have sexual urges and Paul says it’s better to marry than to burn with lust (1 Corinthians 7:9).
  4. This world is corrupt and there are many broken homes, God’s plan is for man to be fruitful and we need more believers to show what a home should look like.
  5. Everyone does not have the gift of singleness, and God knows that most of us at some point will desire someone. Marriage is the healthy way in pursuing a relationship, not recreational dating.  

How is desiring marriage a possible bad thing?

  1. We seek love and acceptance from people, and if they reject us we feel as though God has forgotten us.
  2. It is easy to desire marriage just because someone else is married or we want to “feel appreciated”, and God does not answer prayers that have selfish motives (James 4:1-3).
  3. Many women, maybe some men, pursue that fancy wedding and perfect honeymoon and eventually settle on the first person they can take to the altar, but they knew nothing about the person they have to spend an entire life with.
  4. If sex is your motive behind getting married, that isn’t a strong enough foundation for it to last. “Good sex” cannot sustain a relationship, and God cannot bless a union that he isn’t a part of.
  5. Many have yet to become intimate with God nor discovered themselves, so now their worth is based in a person that can change rather than an unchanging God who’s love is unconditional for us.

In my opinion, this is just my opinion, if you have the desire to be with someone, God doesn’t want you single forever. The only thing we must realize is that, this healthy desire can lead to a fatal end if we don’t allow God to lead us rather than emotions. Stop aiming to be like that dream couple you see on social media – you do not know their life outside of pictures. Chasing that Tumblr/Pinterest wedding will land you in a nightmare home if Christ isn’t your compass. I don’t think the church needs to be focused more on who we will marry over who we are already engaged to, Jesus Christ. One day, we will get to see our blessed savior in the sky and He will not say to us, “hey, that’s so awesome that you got married! Your life was perfect”, no, because he satisfies more than anyone or thing can on this earth. When we pass, our spouse will not come with us. So yes, enjoy your life while God loans you breath, but never allow your pursuit of marriage to be more important than your pursuit of God. If we chase a person, we can lose sight of God. But if we pursue God, He will lead us to the right person at the right time.
Grace and peace,
Tovares Grey

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Society Lies

Society Lies
Too often we tend to listen to society rather than God’s Word when it comes to how we should live. God’s Word doesn’t promote sin, however we tend to fall into sin to be like the crowd. Purity or holiness are subjects that everyone can talk about, but not everyone will aim to follow. Society wants us to believe that we have to disobey God’s Word to find contentment, and that’s exactly how Eve was deceived. It’s time to replace the lies we have engraved into our minds and start believing and living the way God says to. Here are 10 ways to stay pure:
1. Study God’s Word!
Let’s be real, sometimes you don’t feel like reading your bible. Maybe the translation is difficult or you may feel like there’s no connection. But that’s just lies the devil uses to make you stop. We find God when we pursue Him despite how we feel. If you go closer to God, he will go closer to you (James 4:8). If you want to please God, you must read His Word to know what He expects from you. Stay in God’s Word and you’ll stay out of sin.
Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee. (Psalms 119:11)
2. Stay away from sinful crowds!
It’s not up for debate, you will act like who you hang around. “Jesus hung out with sinners!”, no he didn’t. Jesus called sinners (his disciples), to follow him, which means they left their old lives to follow Him. The people Jesus came into contact with didn’t just talk to him as a friend, but they also drew near to him because he was the light that they needed in order to change. Jesus spoke with people to bring the Gospel to them, not to be like them. While I will never say you can’t have unsaved friends or know people of different religions, you should be the ones influencing them not them influencing you.
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14)
3. Be accountable
No man is an island. Of course God is not saying to befriend everyone to the point where you have the wrong people as friends, but he is telling us that we need one another. You can’t say you love God without loving the people you can see. We are called to pray for one another, study together, and build one another up spiritually. If you don’t have any godly friends around you, you are an easy target to the devil. God protects us, but He also places people around us to help in the time of need.
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. (James 5:16)
4. Be a doer
There are way too many people that go to church on Sunday’s and ignore Him the rest of the week. I know what it means to be hypocritical, I struggle with things I speak about, but I know for a fact that God wants us to follow Him daily. God wants to be our Lord, not just our savior. God is looking for obedience, not our opinions. Don’t fool yourself into thinking church attendance or Christian posts guarantees your spot into Heaven. God is looking for people that will follow Him.
But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. (James 1:22)
5. Set boundaries
Christian couples aren’t the only ones that need to set boundaries, we all must do so. You have to let people know that there are certain things you can’t do because God said you shouldn’t. Society is careful to offend everyone except God. So they’ll disrespect Jesus, but say they don’t want to offend the Muslims, Jews, homosexuals, etc. We have to understand that JESUS is God, and He is also not going to tolerate foolishness. Of course He is loving, but He still has to judge us. Holiness wouldn’t be a command if it weren’t possible to attain.
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. (Proverbs 4:23)
6. Prayer
Prayer will keep you away from sin, but sin will keep you away from praying. We have to understand that prayer is communication with God. The same way we build relationships with everyone else through communication, is the same way we draw closer to God with prayer. There’s so much anxiety and unanswered questions in some of our lives, I wonder how much peace we’ve forfeited with our blatant disregard for prayer.
Pray without ceasing. (1 Thessalonians 5:17)
7. Filter your entertainment!
Yes, it does have an impact on your life. Our music, movies and tv shows, and our company will influence our thoughts. Our thoughts lead to our actions, actions turn into habits and we become our habits. You can stop a stronghold at the source if you simply say no to garbage. You can overcome addictions by replacing them. Whenever you get the urge to do something bad, go do something else that is positive or spiritually uplifting.
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. (Philippians 4:8)
8. Know who/what to ignore!
Everything and everyone doesn’t deserve your time, attention or a response. Some people don’t want help, they want to argue and you have to let the Holy Spirit within you to keep your tongue rather than cause you to fight. Never allow someone off track to distract you from pursuing Jesus.
He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. (Proverbs 13:20)
9. Don’t follow accounts that entice your lust.
If Jesus said those who look at someone with lust in their heart has already committed sin, why follow accounts that post naked and seductive pictures? If you want to keep your mind pure, stop following everyone. Society wants you to think its okay to have your eyes drift and flirt around, but God wants your eyes on Him and only for your spouse. In some cases, you can tell a lot about a person just by who they follow and what they like on social media.
Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil. (Proverbs 3:7)
10. Get back up again!
Some may be saying that “it’s too late for me”. You’ve fallen several times and maybe you’re even comfortable living in sin, but God is saying that it’s time to get back up again. Grace isn’t a license to sin, God’s grace is what helps you overcome those besetting sins. Once you repent, God can forgive you, but you must learn to forgive yourself and stop thinking you’re not good enough because you’re comparing yourself to other people. Look to Jesus, keep running the race.
The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand. (Psalms 37:23-24)
Despite what society says, God’s standard is and will always be purity and righteousness. Follow Him, despite what others may say or think.
The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: but the word of our God shall stand for ever. (Isaiah 40:8)
– Tovares Grey

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Quit Looking Around

The eye is a gateway to the soul. Meaning, what you watch and keep your eyes on is what you will eventually begin to desire. I wouldn’t want to have what he/she has if I never even seen what they had. The eye is powerful. We all see certain things, but what you look at will either lift you up or destroy you! Contradiction? No. To see something is simply to perceive it, to notice something that presents itself in front of you. To look at something is to set your gaze on it, you are intentionally directing your eyes in it’s direction.
David was a king, but kings were still called to go out to war with their troops. However, the bible says David tarried back in Jerusalem (STRIKE 1). David then went walking in the evening on the roof of his palace and saw Bathsheba showering, then he noticed that she was beautiful (STRIKE 2). David asked about the woman and he was told that she was married, but he still sent for her (STRIKE 3). Now let’s go over these three strikes and you tell me if this isn’t still an issue to address.
1. David was not in position!
When you aren’t where God wants you, you are exactly where the devil wants you! It doesn’t matter if you aren’t “in sin”, but as long as you don’t go where God sends you, you’re wrong. Jonah was sent to Nineveh and went to Tarshish, God had to send a storm and a whale to swallow him. You see, there is nothing good happening when we aren’t doing what the King says to do. Many of are way too “grown” that not even God can tell us what to do. We go where we want, when we want, dress how we want and only if it’s convenient for our schedule that day. Before God made any of us, He knew every step we will make. So even though God’s plan was for David to be out at war, David didn’t do it and ended up committing adultery, making a baby and having a man murdered. All of that just because he didn’t decide to go. I’m grateful for mercy, because God could’ve cut David, or you and I, off the many times we’ve done similar things.
2. David was looking where he shouldn’t be looking!
I cannot say I’ve been to David’s house, so I will not say David always had a view of women showering, but the bible does show that David was looking intently. Maybe there weren’t overhead showers as we see today, but regardless we know the woman was showering with some form of water and she was naked (common sense). You cannot see someone’s beauty when they are in/under water. At some point she’s washing her face and other areas, which means he had to stare for quite a bit to be captivated by her curves and how looks after he spotted her. So it wasn’t a sin that he saw a naked woman, it became a sin when he decided to stare and desire her (Matthew 5:28). We have to understand, we will see sinful things daily, but we have the power over what we stop and focus on. You can unfollow that account, you can leave that area, you can block that number. Staying shows interest. It’s not easy, but sin is so accessible that it’s like you run from one thing to the next. However, you must guard your eyes in order to protect the anointing inside of you. 
3. David was warned!
David knew she was married and still had men bring her to him. Many bash Bathsheba, as if it was her intention to shower in front of men. The fact remains that David was the king, she had no choice but to go to him or risk her life. If you would’ve ignored the guards and be killed, I respect you, but let’s not allow a sin issue to cause us to point fingers at her. Just like David, we are all warned before we commit sin. If you have the Holy Ghost, there is no way God will make you feel comfortable out of His will. He will bother your conscience. Stop ignoring warning signs and the obvious truth because of your emotions. God forgives, but that is no excuse to disobey. God forgives, but you will have consequences for your actions. “I’m sorry, God. It won’t happen again” doesn’t turn away an STD, pregnancy, bitter bf/gf, a ruined testimony and a soul you may never lead to Christ after, etc. Don’t ignore the signs because you’re lonely.
Many of us like to play the blame game. I wouldn’t lust if they were wearing more clothing, but you don’t have to look. You can see something wrong/lustful and turn your head, but to look for it, search it, follow it on social media, etc. is proving you have the issue that needs to be dealt with. Don’t let your eyes get hooked on the devils bait. What you look at will destroy you if it will distract you from God’s will. Lusting after someone? It isn’t that you have an issue, God gave us all sex drives and the desire to want someone. The problem rises when you let your desire for something godly come out in the wrong context. So now instead of desiring sex in marriage, you find yourself filling your heart and mind with sexual gratification out of His will (pornography, masturbation, sending/receiving lustful messages/pictures).
Understand this, the devil cannot make you do anything. The enemy will only offer you what you desire and its up to you to decide whether to obey him or God. If I like short, he won’t send tall because he knows I’ll ignore it. Be careful of the desires you have in your heart because if you keep feeding yourself garbage your life will eventually begin to produce that. David may not have had a “lust” issue prior to that, but because he was not where he should have been and started looking where he shouldn’t have been looking, he fell. The one man in the bible considered to be after God’s heart committed adultery and purposefully had her husband killed, you can fall as well. Samson could be considered arrogant or foolish, but he was called by God. Your calling doesn’t make you invincible, you have to learn to put your feelings aside in order to be who you were called to be. The strongest man on the earth fell into sexual sin, you can too. Solomon was considered the wisest man to ever live, and still couldn’t get enough women in his life. If he had more wisdom than anyone may ever have, what makes me think I can’t stumble and lose sight of God?
Unless you’re focused on Jesus, you will (not maybe) drift away spiritually. It is our nature to sin, we must intentionally set our eyes on Jesus. Choose today to stop following pornography via social media. Call it as it is. If they are half naked, you don’t need to feed your spirit with it. You may know them, but that doesn’t mean you should allow social media to cause you to forget what God’s Word says: be holy (1 Peter 1:16), flee youthful lusts (2 Timothy 2:22), or set your affections on things above (Colossians 3:2).
No, I don’t live a perfect life….but that will not be an excuse to abuse grace. Guard your spirit, don’t allow your eyes to be sidetracked by things of this world. Peter walked on water when he was looking at Jesus, but began to drown when he looked at the storm. So many are drowning in sin right now because they stopped looking at God and started looking for spouses. How can we find love without God who is Love? Turn back to Him, don’t be enticed by their looks or words. Who God has for you will do more than say the right words, they will be following His Word! Quit looking around, you will die out of God’s will aiming for something that can only be found in Him. 
I have set the Lord always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. (Psalms 16:8)

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Why Get Married?

I’m really not shocked by today’s divorce rate, neither am I shocked that “believers” are getting divorced. Why? I think many forgot the purpose of this sacred union and what God expects of them in the marriage. You see, it’s easy to say what the other person is doing wrong, but difficult to see the chaos you’re causing or your role. It’s easy to expect them to deliver your every need, but it’s also unrealistic to think when you’re saying “I do” that it now means the same as “I own you”. So what exactly is the purpose of marriage?
Let’s go over 5 things of what marriage is for and what it isn’t about.
1. Marriage is for God’s glory. 
If you ever read your bible or simply attended a church service, you should be well aware that the Bible is about God’s love for us. It’s sort of a romance novel of God coming to rescue His bride through His death on a cross. The love shown by Jesus is what God actually calls men to. A sacrificial love, one that is willing to do anything for the well being of his wife and those he is leading (kids for example). Ladies, take this into consideration before wasting your time. He has to be a man who will place the will of God first in his life and be a man who places others before himself. Men, allow God to mold you into His image . Don’t rush the process. You grow while married, but don’t pursue a woman when you’re pursuing selfish ambitions rather than His kingdom. 
2. Marriage is supposed to show the world God’s love. 
There are many broken homes in the world today. Not only do they have no idea that there is a God who loves them, they barely have others surrounding them to show them the way things should be. Many have single parent homes because one person just doesn’t want to be there, which is why we need Christian homes to show what it means to have examples of unconditional love, forgiveness and how to grow with someone for the rest of your life, not until you get bored.
3. Marriage is for your benefit.
God saw Adam and said it wasn’t good for him to be alone so he made Eve to help him. Eve was created to support him, rule with him, and to make his life easier (Genesis 2:18). God was being considerate because Adam could’ve wondered why animals were reproducing and felt left out for not having someone. Marriage is to build together. I don’t see why many run away from it, when God brings the right person to you and you both focus on Him, that type of love can never die.
4. Marriage is a ministry.
God is entrusting someone’s heart into your hands and future children, He doesn’t want you to neglect this responsibility. Marriage is to be invested into. You have to communicate, pray, study the word, have fun and remain intimate. God wants the home to be an unbroken bond, you have to be intentional about keeping God at the center and not allowing the world to pollute the home.
5. Marriage is to be protected.
It’s sad, but many people do flirt with married people (and vice versa). They won’t respect your home if you don’t. If you give the devil access, he will take it. Be careful of your “friends” who will use God’s name to subtly creep in and violate what God put together. Your spouse must be your best friend. Friends of the opposite sex shouldn’t ever cross certain boundaries or be the ones to influence your home. The bible tells wives to submit to their own husbands (Ephesians 5:22). With all do respect, but your pastor or favorite speaker is not the one leading your home. Which is why a man must be connected to God, because he is supposed to guide you in the way that God is calling you all.
What isn’t marriage about?
1. Marriage is NOT about sex.
I agree with Paul, if you can’t contain sexual urges it’s best to get married (1 Corinthians 7:9). However, if you’re only in it for sex, that’s the wrong motive. God wants you to control your urges now, fornication only leads to adultery. Marriage doesn’t cure lust. We will continue to lust, watch porn, masturbate and fall into sin if we don’t submit our urges and feelings under the hand of God. Put your flesh under subjection, follow Jesus not hormones.
2. Marriage is not about what you can get. 
Love has never been and will never be about what you gain. Jesus died out of love knowing that many will never even believe in Him and some of the ones who do will always struggle listening to Him. Love is giving, even if it isn’t reciprocated. God wants you to love each other even when you’re annoying each other. Marriage is sharpening one another. A wise man once said the “God uses the rough edges of your spouse to sharpen you.”
3. Marriage is not about saving your spouse.
This is regarding those who are Christians and then dating unsaved people. You can’t save anyone, let God work on their heart before you start dating them. Both of my parents met unsaved and both came to Jesus, they’ve been married for 25 years so far. I know others who have had unsaved people approach them and they said “get Jesus first” and after that person genuinely went to Jesus, they eventually worked out and are still married and happy now. But my point is this, anyone can fake or just get baptized in order to get you. Don’t let emotions lead you, follow God.
4. Marriage is not about social media. 
You may think this is a joke, but some people only want relationships because others are in one. They don’t really care if God is glorified, they just want to post pictures on social media so others see their “happiness”. Public Service Announcement, if others need to validate your life, you’re not happy. We need to seek God’s approval for our life and not what others think.
5. Marriage is not a competition.
Stop competing with the person God placed in your life to assist you. Stop competing with other couples and stay in your lane. You will die in either envy or jealousy if you keep focusing on other couples, focus on what God has for you.
These are just a few things to keep in mind whether you want to get married or you are already married. Don’t go with the wrong motives, God doesn’t answer selfish prayers. Grace and peace.

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Dating your Distraction

“Should I be patient? We have our differences, but sometimes they can be so hurtful and I don’t know what I should do.”
“I know they don’t love God, but I feel as though I can lead them to Christ.”
“We only had sex once, he’s only touched my breast/butt while kissing, or she knows how to make me feel good. I still love God, so do you have any advice on how to start living pure again? I don’t want to leave him/her, I really care about them.”
These are all questions and similar stories I come across daily and I know God is directing me in addressing this through a blog so you won’t feel alone and we all can grow from this. After all, most of us have been in these situations, where we were either in love with, or attracted to our distraction. Here are some things to take into consideration when we find out our relationship isn’t heading towards God or we ever think about dating someone who isn’t going to help us spiritually.
1. Love doesn’t lead to sin, lust does.
So many ask “well, what are these warning signs I should be looking for”, if you are a Christian you will know when God isn’t pleased. The Holy Ghost inside of us should convict us of our actions, which is why the bible says to not allow our actions to grieve the Holy Spirit within us (Ephesians 4:30).
We all sin because of our human nature, but a lifestyle of sin is what God wants you to avoid. If you see that this person is consistently causing lust, anger, frustration and confusion, they are not from God. Don’t get me wrong, they may be a well known preacher… But if they’re not pushing you closer to God, they are a distraction. Don’t be fooled by a title when the fruit is rotten. 
2. God will not send you someone that is in a relationship/married!
Some of you may have laughed or thought to yourself just now “well duh, who thinks that?” You’d be surprised how many married people are cheating because they are “bored” or they’ve allowed a distraction from outside to subtly creep in and destroy their marriage. Once in the bible David met a beautiful woman by the name of Abigail, but she was married to a fool (no seriously, the bible called him foolish. See 1 Samuel 25). I wouldn’t say David was “plotting” on her all along and waiting to make a move, but it was obvious he saw her as a good choice for a spouse. The bible says that the Lord killed Nabal and David ended up marrying Abigail. NOW LISTEN, this statement isn’t to justify stealing spouses or praying for someone to die because of your lust. I’m simply sharing with you that if God wanted you with someone, He would make it happen. But to disrespect someones marriage is not only rude, but disrespectful to the God that united them. 
Never be a back-up plan. So many are in relationships and are having sideline friends that they flirt/run to when their relationship is not going well. Don’t listen to the “I’m going to break-up with him/her for you”. If they leave someone for you, they will leave you for someone else that they think is better.
3. They’re not saved but….
I wonder if we ever think about the bigger picture rather than our feelings. If someone isn’t following Jesus, they are going to hell. No sugar coating. You need to understand that if you two are going in opposite directions, there is no way for you to grow (Read Amos 3:3). You cannot walk with someone you don’t agree with. So the question isn’t how will you bring them to God, its are you following God? If you had faith in Him you would know to trust His timing. Picking up some unsaved person because you’re lonely shows that you listen to emotions more than God.
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers:for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness (2 Corinthians 6:14). 
This verse was a command, not a suggestion. Many obey the verses that pacify our flesh or make our ego get bigger but ignore the ones that create friction with our lifestyle. You cannot serve God and date someone serving the devil. They may not be bowing to satan, but by default we are born in sin and in need of salvation, and hell will be where we go if we don’t accept God’s biblical plan of salvation (not the man made stuff).
You can’t change anyone, only God can. Focus on praying for them to be saved, rather than trying to date them to God. And don’t compromise to keep them, they won’t see the need for Christ if your actions reject him.
4. Serve God, not your memories.
So many stay in expired situations because of great history. Not everyone in your past deserves to be in your future. When God says let go, let go. You’ll understand later. Abraham was told to kill what God promised Him. Abraham would’ve done it, but God stopped him, many of us won’t even unfollow them on social media because we want to know if who they’re dating looks better than us. Many are being destroyed by themselves. Maybe they hurt you before, but you’re hurting yourself now by keeping your mind occupied on it even after they’ve left. You miss them, but you do not need them. You may feel empty, but you need God, not the person who led you into sin and hurt.
I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:14).
5. You sometimes have to love them from a distance. 
No one likes to let go of what they like. You have to realize something though, God wouldn’t remove something from our life if it wasn’t deadly, useless, or He had something better to give. I know who I want in my life, but ultimately He knows who I need in my life.
There are some people in some of our lives that can take us out of God’s will with a text! That isn’t even a joke. You’d be surprised some of the texts and PICTURES you get when you’re trying to live a life of purity. You get a lot of negativity when God gives you a vision, even from those closest to you/family. Some people you just have to cut some ties with. Don’t be rude now, end it on good terms. But some numbers and people we follow need to be taken out of our life or they will always lead us back into a spiritual and emotional prison.
Don’t spend another day dating your distraction. Pray for them. And if you are the distraction, go and let God work on your heart. We sometimes point fingers and fail to accept our part in the dilemma. But my question to you today is, are you dating your distraction?

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