Idolizing Marriage

So you say that you want to be married. That’s fantastic! However, your desire may be delayed because of your motives. Why is our society so deceived into thinking that they can’t be happy until someone else comes along to give them worth? Marriage is so great, but it cannot complete. Good things cannot fill God’s role. Marriage is meant to be a blessing, but not your purpose on earth.
Okay, before I scare you away, let me get into the point of this blog!
There are so many people out there desiring marriage. That is so good, because marriage gives us an idea of just how much God loves us. Husbands are literally told to love their wives the way that Christ loves us. If that isn’t an indicator on how serious God takes marriage, I really don’t know what is. We are blessed with the gift of sex in marriage which gives pleasure and the ability to procreate. However, the problem arises when we want to be married more than we want Jesus. We seek a spouse before we seek the God who created us. Of course the all-knowing God could tell us who to pursue and who to stay away from, but we simply just hunger so much for the fairy tale love story that we forget all about God. Too many people are expecting a story like Love and Basketball, The Notebook or a Disney channel love story. I think many of us have the idea that marriage carries us into a happily ever after without problems, but is that the case? Every “romance” movie we watch, the movie ends with the highlights! The boy finally wins her heart. That pretty girl finally gives that guy a chance and they run off into pure bliss. The couple who broke up and moved on, somehow managed to run back into each other and fate would have it that their love is rekindled.
“It is definitely God’s will that I get my fairytale!” That’s just how it should be, right?
Wrong. Relationships don’t always go according to our plans….even if we love Jesus. Divorce rates are high just for the misconception many of us believe. You must know that no matter how awesome they are, they are still human. Perfection can only be found in Jesus, so do not hold an extra high standard for someone that cannot fill it. Marriages fail when God isn’t the center, but your idea of how marriage is. You both will have work to do, but you can’t grow if you two aren’t CHOOSING to forgive, love, cherish, respect and honor even when the feelings may fade.
Ever heard someone say they want a Godly spouse or someone following Jesus, but they aren’t even following Him wholeheartedly? That will never happen, you attract who you are not necessarily who you want. If you’re pursuing Jesus, then like-minded people will be drawn towards you; if you’re a lustful person, then that kind of person will be drawn to you. It is not God’s will for you to be with anyone holding on to the world. You two are going in opposite directions if they choose to remain lukewarm or unsaved. Keep your eyes on Jesus. Wait on someone you can pursue Jesus with. Wait for the type of person that will protect your purity and encourage you to seek Christ. So many want marriage so bad that they don’t take the time to evaluate themselves or the person they are with. God does not want us with anyone leading us away from Him. Love does not lead to sin. A Godly man/woman can commit to one person. Be careful of those wasting your time with their games. Do not say “I do” to someone who hasn’t said “I do” to Jesus. Committing to someone that doesn’t love God is only setting you up for a dead end relationship. If the two of you even last, you’ll still find yourself far away from God and that wasn’t your intention.
Are you getting yourself prepared for marriage, or do you just want a honeymoon, a ring and sex? Be careful of doing right things with wrong motives. Paul did say it’s better to marry than to burn with lust/passion (1 Corinthians 7:9), but keep this in mind: if sex is the only reason you are going into marriage, you’re not ready for it. Of course no one will be perfect before marriage, but be careful of jumping into it and you’re not ready for such a great commitment. It should be until “death do you part”, not until “looks fade and you run out of money”. Remember that it’s a lifetime commitment you are preparing for so do not rush into something you can’t handle. Guys, if you don’t want to commit then leave the girl alone. Stop trying to see how many hearts you can break before “settling down”. And vice versa, because some women string men along and try to get attention from him, but won’t give him the commitment that he desires. Divorce is only common because we are seeking guilt-free sex, a wedding celebration, someone to control and manipulate rather than a best-friend we can honor Christ and grow with.
Think about it, your heart is too valuable to just jump into marriage and you weren’t prepared for it. Rushing will lead our vulnerable hearts into sin, brokenness and wasted time. Choose today to be patient, wait on God to lead you and not our emotions that can easily change. His timing is perfect.
Grace and peace,
Tovares Grey

Eyes on Jesus

I fell short…. Months went by, and I didn’t repeat it. I must be free now, praise The Lord. Here comes the opportunity arising, and BAM! Fell into the same sin again. So now I’m at the altar, “Lord I’m sorry, please forgive me”. Feeling good, and sin free. Next thing I know, I’m back at the altar once again, crying because I did the same act once again. The same exact one that I promised God that I wouldn’t commit.
Does this sound familiar? Shrugs, maybe not for you, but for me it was. This was my constant cycle that I couldn’t seem to break out of. I don’t have much shame, I believe if I’m being transparent, then I can help someone. Sexual temptation was the hardest thing in my life that I just could not seem to shake. Touching women that I’m not married to, lusting in my heart, even following women on Instagram that obviously dressed explicitly. I fed my sin instead of starving it. Promising God that I’ll do my best, and failing so often.
Maybe your sin is different then mine, but Hebrews 12:1 shows that everyone has a sin that easily makes them stumble. Does this mean you are a bad person or a hypocritical Christian? Not at all. Only those with a struggle show that they are trying to resist the lies from the devil. If you aren’t struggling, maybe the devil already has a grip on you.
However, this temptation was a stronghold over my life because it was all I focused on. I was not focused on Jesus, I was only focused on avoiding the sin. That’s where we all go wrong. We try to please God by doing good works, when God is saying, “I want you so wrapped up in my love, until sin is no longer an option. I want my desires to become your desires.” Over this past week in my church’s Youth Conference, I’ve learned that fear crippled me. I wasn’t seeking to please God. Instead, I was afraid of doing that sin again, afraid of how people viewed me, and even afraid that I’m living wrong and headed to Hell.
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. (1 John 4:18)
– Many of us are so afraid of people. Lived a life full of ridicule and criticism. We now see that many are slaves to acceptance, but these people usually die from rejection.
– I didn’t strive to be holy, I strived not to commit a sin. God doesn’t want us in a mindset where we have a list of “do’s” and “don’t’s”. Rather, Jesus wants us in a relationship with Him that will give us different desires.
– I didn’t understand God’s perfect love, but the more time I spend with Him and His word I now see that His love is overwhelming. I also see that His love overrides all the fear in my life.
– If I love Jesus back, I’ll live for Him no matter the cost. I can be just like the apostles who even obeyed God when their lives were in jeopardy.
– If ye love me, keep my commandments. (John 14:15)
For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me. (Job 3:25)
– Whatever you fear will come to you. Job was offering sacrifices for His children because they could’ve cursed God and died. We see here that his fear came into existence.
– Revelation 21:8 says the first ones getting thrown into the lake of fire are the “fearful”.
– Jesus has conquered your fears, and the spirit of fear is not from God! See 2 Timothy 1:7
We have to be so consumed with God that sin isn’t an option for us. Christians are usually told what to do, wear, say, or go but now that you are so in love with God, that you just are overwhelmed trying to find ways to get to know Him better. You won’t just need people to guide you every step of the way, because the bible says the Holy Ghost will “teach you all things” (John 14:26).
We must stand up as true Christians, and start relying on God. We will fail whenever we have confidence in our flesh. Each day I am learning to rely completely on God. I don’t want a day to go by without me not praying, reading my bible or seeking Him. I know that the day I don’t, I go out into a warfare against the devil and my flesh, with no weapons. Jesus is my defense and His word is my sword. I must seek Him continually, because without Him I am nothing. I’m just a man of sin going to Hell, but with Him, I am more than a conqueror!
Whether you want to admit it or not, you have a sin that you struggle with. You will get over it when you go to God for strength, but you will fall whenever you stop seeking Christ. You may overcome for awhile, but sin will catch up to you. It isn’t about trying to overcome sin, it’s all about pleasing Christ.
Repentance is turning away from all sin and turning to Jesus. My problem was I would stop, and then keep going. We must stop and turn around! Stop sinning and repent, do a 180 degree turn! Many are on the road to destruction, but for all who choose to submit to Christ, they will make it. Not just Sunday Christians, but being Christ-like in every way.
If I can overcome, I know that you can. We serve the same God, and He’s able to do it again for you. Keep your faith and trust God.
Heavenly Father, I thank you for your mercy and your grace. I recognize that I have a besetting sin and I really cannot overcome it alone. I don’t want to try by myself anymore, I pray that you help me. Give me strength where I am weak. Help me to overcome and ignite a fire within me. Give me a passion for holiness, souls, and a heart of a servant. In Jesus name, amen.
God bless,
Tovares Grey