Stop Chasing Butterflies

I receive many questions from people who want to know how can they tell if someone is the one for them. We’ve made a YouTube video about the concept of “the one” and wrote a blog about knowing how you can tell if they’re the one for you, you should check it out if you haven’t already. However, it confuses me when someone says they’re with someone who’s amazing and loves God, treats them right, but something is missing.
“Well…. what’s missing?”
“I don’t know. I just don’t have those butterflies I’d expect to have.”

“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9)

Can I tell you something that you know, but can easily forget? Your feelings will destroy you. Your feelings will have you running back to relationships that God delivered you out of. Your feelings will have you running back to abusive relationships, because you’re focused on memories instead of reality. Your feelings will have you thinking it’s okay to to let your flesh take control, but you know in your heart what God is telling you to do.
If you want to know true love, look at the Bible’s definition of it (1 Corinthians 13). Too many expect life to be like Love and Basketball or The Notebook. All of these Disney and movie fantasies will have you ignoring your blessing that you’re praying about. Many people want a godly relationship, but when they have a godly person in their lives that’ll correct them when they’re falling or lukewarm, they take it as judgement. So you want a godly relationship, but you don’t want God? Some people claim they want true love, but they really just want someone they can post on social media. Just because all of your friends are dating or married, that doesn’t mean God is telling you to do the same.
Don’t get me wrong, I love being married, but I honestly believe many of us don’t understand that marriage is way more than we think. We have to understand that marriage is a ministry as well and God has to prepare us for it. I honestly believe our motives are what causes us to have our blessings delayed (read more about that here).

“(For we walk by faith, not by sight:)” 2 Corinthians 5:7

I’ve learned that we live in a generation of people that are driven by emotions (see Provers 30:12). We disregard the word of God, and we go by opinions instead of scripture. We don’t like correction, because our feelings are placed higher than God at times.

“There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness.” (Proverbs‬ ‭30:12‬)

There are days when my marriage isn’t all sunshine and roses. I absolutely love my wife and our marriage is great (she said so as well, so don’t think I’m being dramatic lol). However, that does NOT mean we are happy every single waking moment of the day. There are some days when it’s like she can’t wait to hug me, and there are some times when I’m sure her hands just want to hug my neck. If we go by those days when there are no “butterflies”, we’d foolishly think God didn’t bring us together. When we don’t feel those “butterflies”, does that mean it’s time to jump ship? No. It’s time to keep cultivating our love so it doesn’t die out.
Does that mean I’m telling you to settle? NO, PLEASE DON’T SETTLE. I get butterflies when I’m around my wife still. But you have to understand feelings should not dictate your future. Pray regarding that person. If God gives you peace regarding them and He gives you confirmation to keeping the relationship, then don’t give up on them just because you don’t feel happy all the time.
Grace and peace.

Dealing With the Root

I don’t know about everyone else, but I know my struggles. They are clear as day and I know where I need to make adjustments even though sometimes I may pretend to be blind to them. My question that I want you to answer to yourself truthfully is this: Do I have a reoccurring sin or struggle in my life that aims to weigh me down every time I try to go forward? Maybe you don’t have one and that’s fine, I don’t believe you but that is okay. The first step to growth is realizing change needs to be made.
So the bible says in Hebrews 12:1 to lay aside every weight and the sin that easily trips us up. A weight is something in our lives that may not be sinful, but they are very well distracting. Playing video games, hours of netflix/social media/or liking material things may not be sins whatsoever, but they become idols when they consume all of our time, affection and attention. Many times I’ve cut off my “weights”, but I realized that in a matter of hours, days or weeks I will definitely be back in the same sin or bondage. Why? Why is it that we can be sincere when we cry out to God and still go back to the same sin/distraction that we know cannot satisfy our souls?

When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none. Then he saith, I will return into my house from whence I came out; and when he is come, he findeth it empty, swept, and garnished. Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation. (Matthew 12:43-45)

Jesus lets us know clearly that the spiritual battle we are in is much more serious than some people believe. If God frees you from bondage, that is such a remarkable thing. I praise God for deliverance, but that is just the beginning. You have to understand that God did his part and now it is time for you to do yours. The bible says that this man’s spirit was swept and garnished, but still empty. Too many of us have the masks on that make us look so spiritual from the outside. God cleansed us and it’s even obvious in our demeanor, but what happens when there is no substance within us? You will simply fall back into the same sin later and sometimes things even worse.
For example, if you ask God to deliver you from masturbation or pornography. God can very well forgive you, cleanse you and give you a new beginning. But do you think He can force you to have godly desires? He can push you in the right direction but you have to move your feet. You would have to decide to open your bible and pray rather than engaging in things that could lead to those struggles. Right? If God freed you from that relationship that was just pure lust, fornication and adultery. Yes, He will forgive, but do you think He can force you to delete their number or the pictures? Can He force us to unfollow them and stop stalking their page? You see God knows you will have memories and be tempted to go back to where He delivered you from, but God doesn’t want to cut off your temptation, He wants to strip you of your desire to go back to them.

Three Ways to Overcome Your Ungodly Desires

  1. Stop acting like you do not know it’s wrong.
    1. God will not send you anything to distract you from Him.
    2. If you have to hide, cover it, or keep it secretive, it needs to go! David never wanted Bathsheba’s husband to be around until he didn’t want to take responsibility for the child that he shouldn’t have brought into the world. David was warned by his men before he sent for her, he knew she was married. Never ignore your warning.
    3. Many times we know within ourselves something feels wrong, but we try to avoid the voice of God. That isn’t just your conscious bothering you, that’s God telling you to stop playing with fire! We cannot twist scripture to justify our lifestyles, we must use scriptures to transform the way we live.
  2. Replace it!
    1. I’ve cut off many things, connections and environments to get closer to God. Sometimes I’ve returned right back to it, which is ridiculous. We have to replace these ungodly desires with ones that please God.
    2. Letting go of a lustful relationship is great, but what are you going to do after? So many of us “cut someone off”, but we never use our new free time to spend time with God. So now all of your free time is spent going through old pictures, reminiscing, and thinking about them. Eventually your body will go after what your heart and mind is focused on.
    3. Let’s say you struggle with music that you know is filth (I am not going to tell you what to listen to). So you cut off anything that you feel distracts you. However, you never replaced it with Christian music or something that uplifts your soul, eventually you’ll go back to what keeps your heart focused on everything except God. Or you like books like 50 Shades of Grey, you know its trash but you will go right back to it if you don’t feed your spirit with the bible, Christian books, or things that can benefit your mind and spirit.
  3. Consistency
    1. It is easy to walk on the straight and narrow road, but the challenge is in our consistency. We have to let our commitment keep us when the emotions are gone. I can say “I love You, Jesus” at church, but the challenge comes outside of the building and the temptations arise.
    2. Don’t think consistency means you won’t fail, but it means you are wise enough to get back up and get your eyes on the prize.
      1. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:8-9)
      2. The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand. (Psalms 37:23-24)
    3. The devil knows your weaknesses, he studies us and knows more about us than some of us know about ourselves. He knows what you like and He will wait a day or years to catch us to let our guards down. He will allow you to read this and be encouraged or convicted, and still tempt you before the day is over if you aren’t careful. So it is not enough to be committed today and relax tomorrow. Part-time Christians will never overcome fighting against full-time demons. Keep your guard up.
      1. You may think it’s okay to go back to sinful environments now that you are delivered, but you have to be realistic with yourself. Don’t say you are going to the club to be a witness for Jesus, and you know within yourself that a half naked person can pull your mind right back into sin and tempt you.
      2. Don’t say “God delivered me from being an alcoholic/drug addict, I can handle a drink or two/one puff won’t kill me”. Playing with fire will cause you to get burned. 

Before we think that people need to stop tempting us to sin, remember that we are only tempted when its things of our own sinful nature (James 1:14). You can’t tempt me to steal because I won’t budge, I never struggle with that. There are other things I have to battle with daily. In order to live a life of victory, it’s time to stop entertaining ourselves that keep us walking in defeat. 
It is not that hard to live for God, but it’s only easy when we choose to realize that the things He freed us from were not that great. Sin has temporary pleasure, but never a lasting peace after. Joy and real pleasure is only found when we get in the presence of God; we need to get into His presence if we want to see the proof that nothing this world has to offer is able to compare (Psalms 16:11). People think Christians are slaves to rules, but they are really slaves to feelings, sin and are empty. What we have in Christ is better than what we gave up to follow Him. It’s time to let God deal with the root of our “sin problem”, our deceitful and desperately wicked hearts.
Grace and peace,
Tovares Grey


Stop Cheating

I am not sure what’s worse: being in a relationship with someone who you believe is interested in someone else or being with someone that you know is cheating on you. No one likes relationships that make them feel unloved or under appreciated. Typically, you will tell the person you are through with them if they don’t try to make it work. After all, a relationship requires two people making commitments right? Til death do we part…
Sadly, in today’s society many misunderstand (or don’t care to understand) what it means to be in a relationship with God. If you are committed to God, why are you flirting with sin? Everyone who believes there is a Heaven, plans to go to there. Yet we live like Hell isn’t real. We sometimes operate as “Christian atheists”: believing God is real, but living as though He doesn’t exist.
They profess that they know God; but in works they deny him, being abominable, and disobedient, and unto every good work reprobate. – Titus 1:16
Moses is considered as a Old Testament messiah, meaning what he did for the people of Israel is what Jesus did for us. Moses went to pharaoh (the devil), and commanded him to let God’s people go. After they were finally released from Egypt (sin), God gave them specific instructions on how to live. Everyone who decided to murmur and disobey would be cut off. Now as Christians, we are so blind to biblical reality. Yes, it is true that God is merciful and full of compassion, but it is also true that God is still a God of wrath. God is such a wonderful boss that He always pays fairly. If you live in sin, you’ll be rewarded (not with eternal life, but with what you worked for), and if you live right, He will bless you!
For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. – Romans 6:23
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. – Galatians 6:7-8
Many new preachers are on the rise with a false doctrine. Telling people, “just believe, tweet about God, wear a Christian t-shirt, and go to church and you’re on your way”. Not once have they told the person that grace is a free gift to those with a repentant heart. God cannot bless mess, that is why the scripture says, “Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,” in 2 Corinthians 6:17. After preaching salvation to the onlookers on the day of Pentecost, Peter told them to “repent”, see Acts 2:38. You can’t baptize someone who didn’t repent. It is illegal to bury someone who is still alive! God is holy and will not contaminate Himself. We have a part to do in this relationship.
Being saved means, there is a separation! As children of God, we shouldn’t try to dress, talk, act, or be apart of the things the world does. If you dress and talk like “children of darkness”, how will they see God’s light? We can’t tear down satan’s strongholds if we can’t even turn off our television/cell phone. We can’t lay hands on the sick and they’ll recover if we spend time in pornography and not in prayer. We can’t share the Gospel with the same mouths we gossip with!
Remember this: “whatever you feed will live, and what you starve will die.” If you only feed your flesh with ungodly music, tv/movies, or even bad influence from friends, garbage will come out. If you feed your spirit with prayer, fasting, studying and applying the word of God then it is a proven fact you will grow in your relationship with Christ! Imagine if an athlete decided to eat McDonald’s all day, every day. What if he even decided to not show up to practice and decided, “I made the team, now I can do whatever I want!”. Do you honestly think she/he will be as effective? There is a high possibility that the coach will bench them or cut them off the team for taking it as a joke. If you can understand that, you can understand this: God is seeking for obedient, willing and diligent followers, not for church goers. The devil himself can go to church, we need a relationship! Being a Christian is a privilege, not a to-do list!
Jesus is the only God to come to earth and die for the sins of the world. Did he have to? No. People in the Muslim faith have the belief that Allah is God. They’re told this from a man named Muhammad. Christians will say they have the wrong belief, but yet the Muslim will still pray more and are more obedient to their god then we are to ours. I don’t believe in comparing religions, because I don’t even see Christianity as a religion, but more so as a relationship. Yet the question remains, if we love our God so much, why won’t we obey Him? Of course everyone will make a mistake, but why do we blatantly ignore biblical commands?
If ye love me, keep my commandments. – Jesus (John 14:15)
If you really want to be close to God, you have to learn to let go of sin. This is tough because of course, you’ve practiced it for so long and even found pleasure in it, so I know it is hard to break a bad habit. Yet, it can be broken. Build new habits. If you are in Christ, you have a clean slate. If you sinned after becoming a Christian, there is still grace for you when you are willing to repent (turn away from sin). One cannot draw closer to God, and be close to the devil at the same time! Choose a side, but don’t be in the church speaking in tongues and cursing people out. I know that girl/guy is tempting, but we have to say no to our flesh every single day we wake up, and tell God “yes” in our spirit! Holiness is underrated and sin is overrated. Living like Jesus did is supposed to be our goal, not punishment. Let them call us “too holy”, the bible said to be holy. I rather please God than my flesh or people who take God as a joke.
Don’t give up on yourself. This isn’t impossible, because you can do all things through Christ. Choose to seek The Lord, sin is not worth your soul. I pray that you continue to grow in The Lord. Always remember, His grace is sufficient.
God bless,
Tovares Grey


Weak Warriors

Even though we are believers and followers of Christ, we will all have a weakness in one or more areas of our lives. That doesn’t mean you aren’t more than a conqueror, it just means you have some areas that need to be strengthened.
Many of us have battled with:
1. Insecurities
2. Inconsistency
3. Molestation/rape/abuse
4. Doubt
5. Sin (this is everyone)
Jesus knows all about our struggles, and sees where we fall short. He knows that at times we will fail, but He sees worth in us. Our weaknesses can never overpower us, if we are trusting and leaning on God. We only fall short when we take our eyes off of Christ, when we rely on our own strength, or when we play with things God said to leave alone.
Paul was a mighty man of God, yet he had a problem that he prayed about. He asked God to remove it three times and Jesus said “no, his grace is sufficient” (2 Corinthians 12:9). That is what God is saying to us, “I won’t take away the problem, I’ll strengthen you so that you can overcome it.” We find strength in our weakness. The bible says, let the weak say, I am strong. (Joel 3:10). I understand you may feel defeated and weak now, but that doesn’t stop the purpose God has for you! The reason why you can mess up and still get back up is the cross! Jesus knew what we’d do wrong before He died. Jesus isn’t through with you yet, don’t give up! Some things you went through and no one can say you deserved it, but God has a plan for your life. Some things happened to destroy you, but God allowed it to empower you!
But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive. (Genesis 50:20)
And we know that ALL things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)
Heavenly Father, I thank you for your grace and kindness towards me. I know that I am weak, in many areas, but you are strong. Help me to find strength in You. Through you I can do all things, and I can overcome every struggle in my life. I pray that you keep me and guide me, in Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.


God's Love Breaks Spells

Witchcraft, fornication and adultery, stealing, lying, gossiping, gambling, drinking or smoking, clubbing, insecurities, and maybe even rejection. Almost everyone in the world has fell into one of these categories. Whether we have participated in the act, or were forced into the act. However, the truth remains that everyone, has committed a sin, they have also done things they are surely not proud of, and everyone is broken in some way.
for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, (Romans 3:23)
– Some use this as a scripture to justify their foolishness, I mean sin. However, this scripture is why we all need a savior, because we all have sinned.
– Sin is punishable by death, eternity in Hell. That’s why we all need Jesus!
– Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.” (Acts 4:12)
Sin is a disease that spreads like leprosy.
– It starts on the inside and then slowly comes out of us. Once it reaches on the outside it spreads, and can even be contagious.
– Sin begins in our heart, not when we commit the action. If we meditate on a sin, eventually the body will do what the mind wants.
Temptation isn’t a sin. It is a sin when we yield to it.
We tend to point fingers when tempted, but the truth is, it is our own fault. The devil doesn’t give anyone evil desires. The only power he has, is the ability to tempt you. However, you won’t be lured away unless that’s your weakness.
– If you like short and black, he won’t send a man/woman that is tall and red.
– If you don’t have a stealing problem, he cannot tempt you with that.
– The devil studies us, and it is sad that he knows us better than we know ourselves. That’s because people refuse to admit their struggles.
When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. (James 1:13-15)
We all have shortcomings, but that is a blessing.
– When we come to the realization that I can only overcome a sin when God helps me, then we will have a reason to pray.
– A thorn in our flesh will keep us humble. Knowing that we will fall unless we stay in the presence of God.
– If we all felt as though we were perfect, we wouldn’t want God.
Jesus came to set us free from the bondage of sin. Jesus knew it would be so hard for everyone to follow the law, and the law also made so many people self righteous.
The problem today is that people want to be saved from Hell, but not from sin.
– However, God doesn’t work that way.
Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, (2 Corinthians 6:17)
Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: (Hebrews 12:14)
Do not get me wrong, Jesus is a loving and forgiving God, but he cannot tolerate sin.
– No man can hold God’s hand and then with the other hold the devils hand.
– You must choose a side.
– Jesus isn’t a fan of Lukewarm Christians, Revelation 3:16.
– Holiness is a requirement, not a suggestion.
I am a living testimony that God delivers us from everything that we want to be delivered from.
– It is true that many of us give God part of our lives and then try to control the others.
– Saying things like, “God take away the suicidal thoughts”, but we do not want to give up pornography.
– God wants our entire being, all of our heart. Not just what we feel is convenient.
Speaking for myself, I wanted God to take away everything from me, but I honestly didn’t want to give up lust. He’s worked on me in many areas but that one I didn’t want Him to touch, but handle myself. I’ve done things I’m not proud of, but I thank God I’m still a virgin and He didn’t allow me to go too far. Now the closer I get to Him is the more I see the need to give that up. That along with anything else that doesn’t please Him.
Our problem is, we think we can change ourselves. People outside of church say they are going to get their act together and then come to church. That is impossible! God changes us by His spirit and His word, we cannot do it by ourselves. Stop trying to do God’s job and let Him mold you into the person He designed you to be.
People come to me and say that they believe being a Christian is boring.
– It surely is, if you do not have a connection to God.
– It definitely looks that way when you see Christians living lukewarm lives.
– It surely doesn’t attract people when they see you in the club, cursing and half naked on social networks, and singing on the choir in church.
– It surely does look that way when people complain about what they don’t have, instead of being grateful for what God has already done.
Christians, it is time to seek God like never before and let His love transform us from the inside out.
If we really understood the love of God, we wouldn’t live the way we do. We indulge in sin, but sin is deceitful. Feels good but sucks the life out of us slowly. Trying to impress and fit in, but in the end you still have a longing that cannot be fulfilled. That’s because the things or people of this world, cannot fill the void that is meant for God!
– Love for God causes us to obey Him.
– If ye love me, keep my commandments. (John 14:15)
Jesus’ love made Him die for our sins. Don’t let His death be in vain in your life.
Give up sin, accept real life. Life in Christ!
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
His love has broken every spell over my life and I’m grateful for that, will you allow Him to do the same for you?
– Tovares Grey


Live in Freedom

One thing that I have noticed going on is that the church is full of people that are discouraged and burdened down because of their past sins. We must all realize that yes, we should have godly sorrow for our sins, because that leads to repentance (2 Corinthians 7:9-10). However, we shouldn’t condemn ourselves because God forgives those who genuinely confess their sins (1 John 1:9), and he supplies his servants with sufficient grace to overcome (2 Corinthians 12:9). 
All Christians must realize that they can never let God down, because God is the one that holds us up!
Am I justifying my sins, or yours? By no means! I just know that nothing will separate us from the love of God. Ours ways can displease and grieve Him, but His love won’t cease towards His children (Romans 8:35-39). Any parent can testify to the fact that they are really happy when their child obeys them and does something good. However, when their child decides to be a little rebel or even argues with them, is he/she still their child? YES! Same way with God; Our mishaps doesn’t make us lose his love. We are his children by blood, the blood of JESUS CHRIST!
Now anytime you feel low, or feel God has turned His back on you or just feel unworthy, read Romans 8:1: There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
Praise God! We as God’s children are not condemned. If we live lives according to and led by the spirit of God, we don’t have to be condemned. God convicts so we can repent; The devil condemns so we can feel unworthy of the grace of God. Know that difference.
Blasphemy isn’t acceptable and some other sins are just outrageous and an embarrassment, but know this, the loving arms of God are going to be open to you even if no one accepts you or believes in you. God can clean us up no matter how bad our lifestyle appears.
I just leave you with this scripture: Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage. Galatians 5:1
Stay away from certain crowds, networks, TV shows, etc. that will entangle you again. LIVE IN FREEDOM!

Love you all,

Tovares Grey