Words

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. – Plato
As Christians, we have the opportunity to show someone Christ without even mentioning His name. We have grown accustomed to saying “I’m Christian” instead of being Christian. A major way to show the world the love of God is by our words. We should not say things that will cause people to sin or go against the church. Our words should always be graceful, beneficial, and kind to the hearer (Colossians 4:6). Words are very impacting. You can be nice to someone for years, but they’ll never forget the one time you did them wrong. You may be forgiven, but you cannot take back your words. So to avoid the hurt, just learn to limit your words and speak to people respectfully.
 

Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut. (Proverbs 10:19)

 
Before you speak, ask yourself:
1. Is this true?
2. Is this helpful?
3. Will they be offended?
4. If it needs to be said, does it have to be said now?
5. Even if I’m right, how can I say this without a judgmental approach?
“Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Whoever made that up was very clever, but that is definitely far from the truth. Many of us today struggle with insecurities because of things once said about us. Called names and ridiculed, and in return leaving many scars. If that is you, I will definitely like to encourage you and let you know that you are good enough, you are beautiful, and Jesus thinks you are to die for. Never let someone’s opinion of you change your reality. God did not make a mistake. Before you speak, think about what you are saying. You want your actions to point people to God, not to insult anyone. The bible says it is almost impossible to reach a person that was previously offended (Proverbs 18:19). You do not understand someone’s battle, so just use your mouth to keep them in prayer.
Here’s a challenge for you! This week, choose one of these 2 ways to impact/uplift someone with your words:
 
1 – Use your words to share Jesus.
If you love Jesus, why not share Him? Yes, the Bible says they will know us by our love, but how can someone come to salvation if you don’t share the gospel (Romans 10:14)? Talk about Jesus as often as you can. Please don’t be awkward though.
Friend at work: “Hey, would you like to come to lunch with us?”
You: “I can’t, but Jesus loves you. Let me know when you have a minute to discuss salvation and your eternal dwelling place.”
Just please don’t. But pray that God will open a door for you to share your faith, your testimony and share His goodness.
 
2 – Encourage someone.
Everyone loves to hear kind words, and many of us have a friend that is just always kind. But have you ever reached out to them and just said, “Hey, I appreciate you. You’re a great friend, praying for you. Have a blessed day.”? Be willing to reach out. I know you would rather someone reach out to you, but this is a way to treat your neighbor the way Jesus expects.
You know that they struggle with sin? Pray for them. Try to help them back up, don’t look down on them for their weakness. Use your words to assure them that God is able to deliver and keep them.
 
 
I encourage every reader to listen to an amazing song by Hawk Nelson, it is called “Words”. Your words have power. Use your words to bring life and not to tear others down.
 

Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. (Proverbs 18:21)

 
Grace and peace.

Called to Singleness?

This blog is long overdue! One too many people have been frustrated with God because He has not met their desires when or how they expected Him to. Many are now in their 30s, 40s, 50s and even older and still message us saying “I really don’t understand if I am missing something. I turn down bad relationships all of the time. I honor Christ with my body and I do my best to stay focused on Him. But I want a wo/man, doesn’t the bible say God will give us the desires of our heart?” And yes, I have received this concern from all age groups, genders, countries, etc. I used to think some people were honestly being impatient and “needy”. But is that always the case? Nope. Some people just have good desires that won’t be met, or they will be and they just have to learn to trust the journey.
 
Here are 4 things I want you to grasp about this topic:
 
1 Just because you want to get married, that does not mean a spouse is owed to you.
 
I believe many people can twist the scriptures so much that they no longer serve God, but they serve their idea of God. I say that because it is so easy to find a bible verse that sounds good, so we try to apply it to our lives without knowing its context or understanding what God was actually trying to say. I literally received a comment from someone that said “We all were created for marriage, and the bible says the woman was created for man.” I didn’t even bother arguing with them or getting into some form of biblical debate, because everyone has the right to their own opinion. Even when they are wrong. We are created for God and to give Him glory. Yes, the bible mentions that God brought Eve into the picture because it was not good for Adam to be alone, but that does not mean every woman born on this earth needs to be married in order to have a purpose. Just because God did not see it fit for Adam to be alone, that does not mean that every man on earth needs a wife before he can do the will of God for his life.
 
“Well the bible says in Psalms 37:4 that if we delight ourselves in God then He will give us the desires of our hearts”. Yes, it does say that, but it does not say everything that we desire is owed to us. Neither does it say that every good desire in our hearts is God’s desire for us. When you delight in Jesus, you begin to desire more of Him and you begin to desire what He wants you to have. So while you are there spending time with Jesus, He will begin to rearrange some mentalities, habits, actions that you have/struggle with and He will mold you into His image. What if it is His plan for you to be single? So many people are not content, but they believe a spouse will fill that void. That will never happen because a spouse should add to our life, not be your goal in life. Jesus is the only One able to fill the void in our hearts.
 

Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. (Psalms 37:4)

 
2 – Some people are called to singleness.
 
I figured I might as well tackle this topic at some point, because some people really do not think it is possible for this to happen. In the scriptures, there were people that were not meant to be married. Those were the eunuchs. Of course, I am not advocating to having any man castrated or forcing people to remain single. Times have changed, and that is a bit extreme if you ask me. However, if you don’t mind reading Matthew 19:1-12 really quickly you’ll see what I am about to refer to. Jesus was asked about divorce by some clowns, I mean Pharisees, and He dropped the truth on them like a BOSS! Marriage is God’s design, and the two become one flesh that way. They asked so why did Moses allow divorce then, clearly trying to start drama. Jesus told them because of your “hardened hearts”, Moses allowed that to happen. God’s plan is never divorce, and He goes into a little more detail, but I want you to go and read that really fast! Back to my point, Jesus said in verse 12 that some were born eunuchs, some were forced into it, and others chose that lifestyle for Heaven’s sake. I could possibly be wrong, but this is only my opinion on what He was stating: Jesus wasn’t saying some castrated themselves to glorify God. Rather, He was saying some abstained from marriage and sex in order for their lives to be fully dedicated to God. It is possible to be alive and not desire marriage or sex. Don’t feel inferior or weird if that is you. Use your life for His glory. I believe it is also possible that some may desire marriage, but they can be more effective for God while single. Which is why marriage will always be a great desire, but being single is not something you should just shun the very thought of.
 
Paul was a man that literally changed the world for Jesus. He was so on fire for Christ that he could send a handkerchief and it would heal the person when it reached them (see Acts 19:11-12). However, in all of the great things this man did for Christ, he did something that many refuse to believe is God’s will: he stayed single. Whether Paul was always single, divorced or widowed is beside the point. He said that he recommends for Christians to remain single like he was (1 Corinthians 7:6-8). Of course he was not saying everyone should be single and celibate, because that will mean there is no way to repopulate God’s earth. However, he was showing us that there is so much you can do for God when you are single. If you have the desire to be married, that is a good desire, just be sure that you are willing to serve God with your heart whether single or married.
 

For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. (1 Corinthians 7:7)

 
3 – Your motives can be the reason why you are still single.
 
In the era of social media, everyone feels like they are missing something. You follow that dream couple and you wish you could be like them. You are constantly told by friends and family that you need to hurry up and get married. People begin to question your sexuality, your character and everything else about you. Sometimes it feels like the best thing to do is to just rush a relationship. However, seeking something God does not want us to have or rushing into something because we do not want to feel left out will only lead to pain, stress or sin. I have reached a point in my life where, I only want what God has for me. Waiting sucks, we all know that. But what good is it to be married and you end up walking out of God’s will in the process?
 
I didn’t get into too much detail because we already wrote a blog on how our motives often times delay God’s plan for our lives. Click here to read that full blog that will get more into why motives are a reason some will never be married, or it will simply be a very long time before they do.
 

You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. (James 4:2-3)

 
4 – If you aren’t faithful to Christ in your single season, you will still be inconsistent when you’re married.
 
Some people amaze me at how much they love the idea of marriage, but not the idea of being the bride of Christ. That isn’t to sound judgmental, but we really need to check our hearts. Do you really think that marriage is the time to start living spiritual? No, singleness is the time to develop your walk with God. If I struggle with lust while dating, I will struggle while married. If I am rude while dating, I will be rude when I am married. If I can’t budget and I spend all of my money shopping, I will simply lead my marriage into bankruptcy. Too many people are focused on finding “the one”, instead of becoming the one. I know firsthand that all of my issues before marriage are still issues now unless I address them, learn from them and depend on Jesus for growth.
 
Not only that, but we must have our own walk with God. Please do not think a “godly relationship” is a substitute for an actual relationship with God. You want a godly spouse? Live a godly life. You want to prove that you are “marriage material”? Start developing yourself as a Christian and mature adult so that you will actually be ready for this marriage that you are prepared for. Some people are single because they cannot be trusted in a relationship. If we are inconsistent with God, we will only love someone else conditionally. If we are not faithful to Him despite His love and grace towards us, we will struggle with the person we are dating. We all mess up, but a consistently growing relationship with God will help you to love others.
 

But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. (James 1:6-8)

 
Grace and peace.
 

HE Is Worth the Wait

It is so easy to become eager when you are expecting something. Especially when you’ve been waiting on it for a while. We fantasize and obsess, creating a tunnel vision in which we see nothing else except for that one thing we know will bring contentment and joy and even security. Nothing else matters until the dream in our hearts become a reality in our lives. We exude so much passion in pursuit of that next job/career, that house, that car, that relationship… There is nothing wrong with going after any of these things but nothing guarantees that they’ll be worth the wait and truly satisfy us until we learn to trust and wait on God. My dad used to always sing this song “There is no satisfaction without salvation”, and never did I truly understand it until now.
 

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. (Matthew 5:6)

 
Long before my husband I started dating, there were times when I longed for a companion. To be honest, I knew I wasn’t ready for a relationship but seeing all my friends around me in relationships made me believe that I needed one. At some point I even allowed satan to convince me that I was lonely… That I was incomplete because I was single and that what would make me the happiest was to find “THE ONE” for me. I remember being in high school and never having a boyfriend. My “friends” would say I was lonely and some would even encourage me to come to parties or out with them for the weekend. They promised me a life changing experience. But my parents were saved and strict and I knew better than to ask them if I could ever participate in any of those activities. I was miss “Goody Two-Shoes” and I hated it! I was tired of sticking out like a sore thumb and I wanted to fit in so I decided I was going to get a boyfriend. I “dated” this guy in an attempt to “fit in” and to remove the loneliness my friends said I had, but I still didn’t feel like I was fitting in and my relationship did not make me happy because it wasn’t one I wanted to be in. I knew this person wasn’t for me and I knew my reasons for entertaining this relationship were all wrong.
So at some point I had to stop allowing society to make me feel like being single and pure was a sickness. I realized God did not call me to fit in and I would never fit in because God’s agenda for my life required just the opposite. I ended that relationship and redirected my focus on the ultimate one worth waiting for, Jesus Christ.
 

Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. (Psalms 37:4)

 
I’m sure many others have similarly been where I was. It’s so easy to lose your identity in trying to obtain what the world displays as happiness. What I started to realize is that the world’s definition of a relationship wasn’t a healthy one and relationships do not bring you happiness if you are with the wrong person. And if you aren’t spiritually and mentally mature enough to handle them, they can be destructive. Just because our peers look happy in relationships, that doesn’t mean we should compare ourselves to them in believing that we too need to be in a relationship right now. Who says they are truly happy anyway? You don’t know that. The path God has for you is different from the one He has for someone else so it is important that you stay in your lane and not get ahead of yourself.
Singleness is a blessing, and there are so many things that you are able to do more freely when you’re single that you might not be able to do when you’re married. This is your time to serve God without added family responsibilities and obligations.
 

But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. (1 Corinthians 7:32-34)

 
I learned to chase Him in my single state and trust Him to write my love story. In my love life and in other aspects of life, I’ve had to learn to wait on God and not get so anxious in obtaining my worldly desires. Once I put my life and decisions in God’s hands, I’ve been completely satisfied with Him and what He’s given. Simply because He gives me His best and His plans for me are far better and greater than the plans I had for myself. He was truly worth the wait, He still is worth the wait, and He will always be worth the wait.
I encourage someone to wait on God today. He will fill your heart and satisfy you like no one else can. All your dreams and desires are so plain and miniscule compared to those He has for you. It’s so crazy how difficult it might be to see this now but we will better understand it as time goes by.

 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

 
Grace and peace.

6 Characteristics of a Godly Woman

Ladies!! Y’all ready for this? Probably not, but keep reading anyways haha. We recently wrote a blog on the “6 Characteristics of a Godly Man“, and of course there was no way we would write about the men and not the ladies. Ladies, it is our goal that you can read this and examine your heart and see if this describes you. If it does, keep growing. If not, allow God to work on your heart so you can mature into this type of woman. If you’re one of the brothers reading this, then please don’t settle until you have found a woman with these traits, or is at least growing into this woman.
 

  1. Godly women spend time with God.

We live in a generation full of self-proclaimed Christians, but are we actually living up to that title? I’m not here to judge, but you can do a quick self-examination to see if that is you. Ladies, please understand the importance of building your walk with God. If your spiritual life is based off of “well my pastor/parents said….”, you will easily fall into sin. The devil got Eve to sin by simply manipulating the word of God and allowing her to confuse what God told her. 1. She shouldn’t have been talking to snake. 2. She told the snake that God said she shouldn’t eat from the tree or touch it. God never mentioned touching the tree. What if Eve thought eating the fruit wasn’t a big deal because she touched it and nothing happened? Ignorance to God’s Word will always cause us to stumble, we have to dig in and meditate on God’s Word.
 
When you know God’s word, study it and allow it to resonate in your heart, you don’t need anyone to validate you. When you’re building your walk with God, you don’t have to chase a ministry to validate you. When you know Jesus loves you, you don’t need a guy to make you feel important. A growing relationship with God is very important and should always be your focus.
 
 

Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord. (1 Corinthians 15:58)

 
 

  1. Godly women are led by their faith, not feelings.

We have all probably heard at some point in our life that women are more “emotional” than men. There is always someone putting emphasis on how “emotional” women are. However, there is nothing wrong with emotions. Jesus wept. If Jesus showed emotions like sorrow, compassion, or even loneliness (you can say Jesus felt abandoned when it was time for Him to fulfill His calling on the cross), then why can’t women? The issue however, is that some women have allowed their natural emotions to be their god, instead of Jesus. You ever wonder why some people never find healing? That’s because some of them choose to stay broken. Being broken gives them attention and being bitter seems to give them some release to the built up hurt. Ever wonder why some people can never love? They don’t want to be hurt so they take God’s place and try to defend themselves. They try to defend themselves instead of allowing God to do that.
 
Godly women understand one important thing, God is bigger than their circumstance. They may have had their heartbroken, but instead of saying “all men are dogs” or staying down, she will find her identity in Christ and trust His timing the next time around. It’s easy to think going back to an ex is a good idea just because you miss them. But godly women know the difference between God leading them back or their emotions leading them back. It’s easy to allow what someone else did to you to ruin your life, but godly women understand that if God is on their side, they won’t have to fear what a person can do to them. Godly women are bold and they build their walk with God so they don’t have to depend on someone else to hear a word from God or show them their worth.
 
 

Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. (Proverbs 31:25 ESV)

 
 

  1. Godly women know their worth is in Christ.

Have you ever noticed something that is quite weird in the church: Church girls love “bad boys”? As in, they’ll date an unsaved guy or a guy that attends church, but isn’t living it? Honestly, it is very sad, and it shows how some people really don’t value their walk with God. The three biggest reasons women stay in unequally yoked or sinful relationships are because:

  1. They honestly think they don’t deserve better.
  2. Everyone else is dating. So I guess something is better than nothing, right?
  3. They feel like they’ve already stayed in a bad relationship for so long, leaving only means they have wasted their time and energy.

 
It is so easy to allow people to define you. Social media has become the best place to go if you want to feel inadequate or if you want to become proud. There will always be someone with less than you, causing you to think you’re “blessed” and have it all together. And there will always be someone with more than you causing you think God is not on your side. However, a godly woman knows that married or single, God is the only one that can complete her. No job, person, money or attention can ever be more fulfilling than Christ.
 
 

God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early. (Psalms 46:5)

 
 

  1. Godly women are known by their character more than their looks.

Every time someone mentions a godly woman, I have noticed that they always refer to Proverbs 31. For some reason though, I cannot find a bible verse in that chapter that mentions how pretty that woman is. It could just be me, but clearly the bible is telling us that our hearts are more important than our exterior. By no means am I here to tell women to never wear makeup or to place no time or preparation into looking beautiful. You can look amazing and still be modest and godly. However, what good is it to be beautiful and have a bad attitude? Who cares if you’re a 11/10 in the face and body if your walk with God is nonexistent? A godly man will never pursue a woman who isn’t passionate with her walk with God. Don’t get me wrong now, you should never serve God just because you want Him to send a spouse. But if being married is your goal, you need to bring more to the table than looks.
 
Women of God can’t be like the women in the world. We cannot influence those we imitate, God has a higher standard for us. Women are more of the nurturing type. Women of God will always be known by their love, compassion, grace, kindness, and other traits that they use to benefit others.
 
 

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. (Proverbs 31:30)

 
 

  1. Godly women guard their bodies, hearts and minds.

There will always be a distraction coming to knock you off course. Some random guy who cares about your body more than you or your walk with God. Someone coming to you with gossip, rather than good news. Some people who come to you with false doctrines, negativity or simply attacking you. But godly women know to stay in God’s presence so they won’t fall into drama or sin. Living pure is more than what you do or don’t do. You have to resist the devil, but you also have to submit to God and keep your heart focused on Him.
 
It’s so easy to compromise, society makes it beyond easy, but you have to know to keep your affection on Christ so that your heart won’t get corrupted by the enemy’s lies. Of course, you will fall at times, but godly women know their worth is in Christ so they will get back up again and keep going (Micah 7:8). Don’t allow your heart to get distracted by lust, toxic relationships, bitterness, envy, depression or anything else. Guard your heart with the things of God (prayer, studying your bible, fasting, etc.).
 
 

Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. (Proverbs 4:23 ESV)

 
 

  1. Godly women are still human.

I think one of the most frustrating things is to expect to have it all figured out. It is draining trying to remain perfect in everyone’s eyes. Stop living to please everyone else and focus on Jesus. You can fall into sin just like everyone else, but God’s grace is there to lift you back up, show you the right way, and strengthen you as you pursue righteousness.
 
I spoke to a young lady recently who said she felt “weird” because she struggles with lust and porn and she thought that was a “male struggle”. Society really poisons our mind into believing that there are gender specific struggles, but the bible states the devil wants to destroy all of us. Ladies, you’re not weird for struggling with anything, you’re human. But being human is no reason to suffer in silence. Be accountable to other godly women. Be willing to seek God in prayer and the Bible instead of believing “I’m only human” is a license to sin.
 

There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. (Romans 8:1)

 
 
Grace and peace.

6 Characteristics of a Godly Man

What does a “godly” man even look like? Most have their opinion, some good and some bad. Well how does God portray a real man? Ladies, before you jump off the ledge with a clown, read this and see how a man really should act. Men, before you go chasing a woman for marriage or you’re just reading this because you desire more of Jesus in your life, I’m praying this can help you. What exactly makes him “godly”?  Let’s see!
1. Godly men spend time with God.
It’s very easy to look spiritual. You can attend church and you can post scriptures on social media because you love God, but that doesn’t mean you spend time with God. We have to be intentional about our growth. It’s easy to let hours go by without acknowledging God. We can Netflix, play sports, video games and basically do nothing for an entire day. We may never be able to “find” time to seek God, but we have to make the time to grow. Our hearts and minds are bombarded by distractions, so we must make the deliberate choice to shut everything down and open our bibles. To turn off the screen and get down on our knees to pray. To decide to not go out with the friends one day and go on a fast. We have to develop a hunger for God in order to live godly lives.
The true measure of a believer is not in how high they jump in the service, but how straight they walk according to God’s will after. Spiritual growth does not happen by accident. We don’t find God by accident, we must be intentional. In my opinion, it shows maturity when you can spend time with God even when it feels “boring”. Pushing past your feelings, because you know that God is worthy despite how you “feel”.
Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. (Matthew 5:6)
2. Godly men are bold.
No man who knows his worth in Christ will ever feel the need to be shy or be afraid of anyone’s opinion of their lives. That doesn’t mean we all should be the outgoing and “extrovert” type just because we love God, but none of us who understand our worth will allow fear and insecurities to cripple our spiritual walk. All of the disciples that Jesus held close to Him weren’t the smartest alive. However, they spoke with authority, power and with wisdom because they were being led by the spirit of Christ (see Acts 4:13).
If a man is interested in a woman, he will pursue her. He will not wait on a woman to be interested in him. He will seek God, pursue her, and do everything within his power to win her affection. Godly men know what they want and they won’t settle for less. That doesn’t mean he will force a woman to love him back, but he will go out of his way to win over her heart. So ladies, if a man doesn’t pursue you, that can only mean three things:
  1. He is NOT interested.
  2. He is NOT ready for a commitment.
  3. He is interested, but too shy to speak. If he is, that doesn’t mean throw yourself at him to break the ice. Some men are just not that confident, especially around a beautiful woman. But he should be willing to get past that if he is interested. I do not believe a woman should pursue a man, I do not believe the bible supports that (Proverbs 18:22). However, that does not mean you can’t make a friend and pray that God tells him to pursue you (you ladies know that you do that already).
The wicked flee when no man pursueth: but the righteous are bold as a lion. (Proverbs 28:1)
3. Godly men try to lead others, not control them.
There’s probably nothing worse than someone who demands respect, but they don’t deserve it. You can’t expect your wife to submit to you, and you’re controlling instead of leading her. You can’t expect your friends to see you as a godly example to emulate, if you are condemning them rather than loving them and living how Jesus lived. The fruit of the spirit is self-control, not people-control. Manipulation and control are characteristics of the devil, not the spirit of God. If Jesus Himself does not seek to control us, then we should not be doing that to anyone else. Controlling boyfriends/girlfriends will become controlling spouses, so please do not settle. You shouldn’t have to cut off friends or social media to “make them happy”. You shouldn’t have to “report” to them with your whereabouts. BOUNDARIES ARE IMPORTANT, but please understand that is different from being controlled.
And if you have been accused of this, It’s not to say that you’re going to Hell and you’re such a terrible person. You just have to learn to see people as people, instead of objects. You also need to learn that God is in control and it is okay to trust Him, instead of expecting you will always have it figured out or you always need to control the situation.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22-23 ESV)
4. Godly men exercise consistency and discipline.
Paul never felt like he reached his highest level, he continued to strive to get deeper into God’s presence (Philippians 3:7-10). I like to use Paul as an example a lot because I feel like he is the best example on how God is able to turn your life around no matter how bad your past was. Jesus tells us that the people who hunger and thirst after righteousness will be filled (Matthew 5:6). It’s one thing to confess that you love Jesus, but that is something that must be shown in your consistent efforts in seeking Him. When it is tempting to get lazy and complacent in your spiritual life, you have to be willing to dive into the Word of God. When you are tempted to compromise your walk with God, be willing to say “this isn’t worth my intimacy with Jesus”. 
I used to struggle with a particular issue so much that I had to seek help from my mentor. He showed me how to get over the issue with advice, prayer and the scriptures. I “overcame”, but I was back in my mess in just a few weeks or months later. I have come to realize that we fall into sin when we get complacent with our walk with God (1 Corinthians 10:12-13). Unless we are consistently seeking God for help, that thorn in our flesh will continue to be a stumbling-block for us. However, the more we seek Jesus for help with our issues, is the more we will see that His grace is sufficient and that His strength is made perfect in our weakness (see 2 Corinthians 12:7-10).
And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. (Galatians 5:24)
 
5. Godly men guard their purity
Now before you think I just said godly men are some form of biblical superheroes, let me clarify. No I did not say they cannot fall, I said they guard their purity. Falling into sexual temptation has to be the easiest thing to do on planet earth. You had to go out of your way to see something or do something inappropriate a few years ago. Now, I can pull out my smartphone and I’m free to lust over anything moving. I cannot tell you the amount of times I’ve went on YouTube for one thing, and the suggested videos are showing me nonsense. Let’s not even mention Social Media’s negative influence on our efforts to live pure. However, that is no excuse to fall. The devil can tempt us, but we can choose to not indulge in it. It’s one thing to notice a lustful image or see someone dressed immodestly. But what I think and what I allow my heart to desire is fully up to me.
We all know David fell into sin with Bathsheba, He saw a beautiful woman taking a shower and decided he had to have her. Instead of turning away, he allowed lust to take over. If you know that what you’re looking at is ungodly and not God’s will for your life (porn, inappropriate images on social media, etc.), then please stop before it leads further down a path of immorality and emptiness.
“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman.” (Job 31:1 NLT)
6. Godly men are human
Many people will read this blog title and believe I am setting some false illusion of what all men must be or they aren’t true Christians. But the truth is, godly men are always going to be a work in progress. If you were perfect, you wouldn’t need Jesus. So many people are walking in shame today because they’ve slipped, but there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus and trying to pursue Him daily (Romans 8:1). God sees when we are striving to please Him with our actions. If you aren’t where you need to be, then draw closer to God. The bible says God will draw closer to us if we draw closer to Him (James 4:8). “No one is perfect” and “I’m only human” is not an excuse for sin, but it is the reason why we have to just allow ourselves to depend on God’s grace daily. Let God order your steps so you can be a light to others.
The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand. (Psalms 37:23-24)
Grace and peace.
 

Christians with Addictions

Everyone finds themselves battling some form of sin at some point in your life. It’s sad that in the church we have people that believe in “big” and “little” sins. You know, those who secretly gossip, lie, steal and hate others, but they don’t think they are a “bad person” because they aren’t fornicating or a homosexual. Please understand this before reading any further, you need Jesus. I need Jesus. Those people that hurt you need Jesus. WE ALL NEED JESUS!
As I was saying, it is normal to have a struggle, the issue is what you do with your struggle. Let me give you two biblical examples of how your issue can become your downfall or it can be used to your advantage depending on how you control it.
The apostle Paul

Other than Jesus Christ, Paul was arguably the most influential man in the New Testament. The guy practically wrote half of it. Many of us look at Paul and we pray things like, “Lord, let me be as effective for your Kingdom” or “Lord, let me walk with that sort of boldness and faith”. Those are great prayers, but did you know that Paul still wasn’t perfect? If you read 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, you will see that God gave Paul a thorn in his flesh. Some argue that it was a sickness, some say a struggle, but that is besides the point. The point is that God will allow us to go through certain things that may not be pleasurable, but it will help mold us into His image. Paul says he sought God three times to remove that issue, but Jesus responds to him saying that “His grace is sufficient”. Paul didn’t want to remove his issue to have an easy life, he honestly thought that thing was just a burden to his purpose. Your struggles can push you into the presence of God instead of away from Jesus. I know this thorn in Paul’s flesh may not have been some form of addiction, but it was something he couldn’t shake. Many of you aren’t struggling with “sins”, but you have some spiritual weights that you need to be freed from (Hebrews 12:1). You feel trapped now, but allow that weakness to push you deeper into God’s grace and in His presence.
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Some guy named Judas

Judas is easily the craziest guy in the whole bible. At least, that is how we often view him. For a man to walk side by side with Christ and still manage to not get it right is sort of appalling. However, many of us live the very same way that Judas did. We follow Jesus, but we won’t die to our carnal nature. Judas didn’t appear to have an issue with what Jesus was teaching, because he was more interested in what Jesus was doing with the money (see John 12:4-6). We follow Jesus, but our love for the world continues to get in the way of that. Do you believe that Judas ever loved Jesus? I believe he partially did, he just never placed his addiction under subjection. Paul says that we can preach the gospel and still not make it into the kingdom of God, and Jesus said that many will be doing things for God, but never had a relationship with Him. So yes, it is possible to jump, shout, preach and sing and our hearts still be on the way to Hell. Don’t let that be you. I pray that isn’t me. It will be sad on judgment day if we have helped so many people go to Heaven, but we do not get in because we had a godly appearance, just not the lifestyle or heart (2 Timothy 3:1-5). Are you willing to admit you have issues that God wants to free you from?
But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway. (1 Corinthians 9:27)
If you find yourself not being able to live without someone or something other than Jesus, then that is an idol that you either need to remove out of your life or get it placed back into its rightful place. Many people love their bf/gf or spouse more than anything. Yes, loving others is great, but it should never exceed your love for God. The day you want to be with the person you’re dating more than Christ, you will see your life go downhill and that relationship hurt you in the end. The day we turn to pornography, sex, lust or masturbation in our times of weakness instead of Christ, we will see how much those sins will drain us. If you have to turn to alcohol, drugs, parties, etc. to ease that pain or fill some void, you will continually be empty. Those are just a few issues to name, they are not the only ones God wants to free us from. If we gossip and slander people to make ourselves feel better, God wants us to repent of that as well.
“Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen.” (1 John 5:21)
The woman at the well is a clear example of a person that has a void in their heart and not know how to fill it. She was constantly sleeping with a new man, yet she was empty inside. Jesus saw her emptiness and offered her Himself, the Living Water. When we turn to Jesus instead of to whatever our “vice” is, we will be satisfied. Whenever we turn to our addiction or habit that isn’t pleasing to Him, we are still empty, full of shame and guilt, and desperate for more. Sin will never be satisfied. Sin will always take us further than we planned to go, keep us longer than we planned to stay and take more than we planned to give. I know you feel disgusted by your sin and maybe even in yourself, seeing how you continue to struggle. But that is why we need Jesus. The power of the Holy Ghost can help you overcome every single struggle and issue you face. Please do not condemn yourself. Get back up, repent and keep following Jesus. You may finish this blog and within the next thirty minutes find yourself on some XXX rated website. You may read this and go back to your binge eating to help your sorrows. I’m here to tell you that God is able to deliver you. You are not alone, Jesus is on your side. Do not allow your weakness to push you out of the will of God, allow it to cause you to keep seeking God so that you can permanently break that cycle.


Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore. (Psalms 16:11)


Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. (2 Corinthians 3:17)


There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. (Romans 8:1)


Grace and peace,
Tovares Grey

We Love Jesus, but we "Messed Up"

One of the things I have learned in church is that people are afraid to admit when they fall. We don’t want to feel condemned. We don’t want to feel as though we are the only ones struggling with that issue. We don’t know who to turn to, because others don’t even care to live a God-fearing life. So what do we do? We keep quiet. We talk about it AFTER God “delivers” us so we can have a cute testimony to share. We keep quiet so we won’t appear to be a failure if we do slip up again. 
Let’s discuss those who are in relationships with people that seemed to be on the right track, but they fell into sin. This isn’t for those who are in deliberate sin and lustful relationships. Relationships that pull you away from Christ will never be God’s plan for your life. However, it is possible for you to be in a relationship that can glorify Christ despite making a mistake in your past. 


“He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.” (Proverbs‬ ‭28:13‬)




You’d read that verse and think I’m telling you to blindly run back to others regarding your struggles and confess everything to them. Accountability is a major key to maintaining a successful relationship, but God does not want us telling everything to every person in the church. When the Bible tells us to confess our sins, God wants us to do two things: turn to Him in our weakness and be accountable to other believers in the body of Christ that will help us with prayer and encouragement. Please understand that some things are not meant for everyone to hear. We overcome by the blood of the lamb and by our testimony (Revelation 12:11), but God still does not expect us sending out mass texts to say how we are “finally free from lust”. That’s great and all, but please understand there is a time and place for everything. 
With this blog, I pray that none of you leave with the wrong impression. Our aim is not so anyone can feel as though they need to cut off a relationship because they made one mistake or for anyone to continue in a relationship just because it isn’t leading to sexual immorality. The point is for you to evaluate the heart and motives behind the relationship. Just because you slipped up before, that doesn’t mean you two can’t reestablish boundaries and honor God. And just because you two haven’t had sex, that doesn’t mean your relationship is pure or you two aren’t heading that direction.


“This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.” (Galatians 5:16)




One thing I have realized is, too many believers want to know “how far is too far”? I understand that may be a legitimate question, but how exactly does that honor Jesus? If your goal is to honor Christ, you should be striving towards pleasing Him and staying as far away from sin as you possibly can. However, what you find is too many relationships are asking: “can I kiss him/her?”. “Can I spend the night at their house? It’s not like we both don’t have self control.” “Can I feel on their body? I’ll make sure to stop before we get carried away”. Or you’ll hear the famous line “I’m not less of a Christian because I have sex from time to time. God knows my heart, you can’t judge me.” 
Some of these lines people may never say, but it is happening in their relationships daily. If you notice the key aspect behind some of those relationships, it’s all about self. What can I get? How can they please me? Don’t judge me, etc. If you get to the point where you are asking what you can gain from being with someone, you see that you aren’t ready for a relationship. I understand the desire for physical intimacy is within all of us, but if you can’t control your urges while single, they will still be an issue when you are in a relationship. Marriage doesn’t cure lust. Dating doesn’t cure lust. Sex doesn’t even satisfy lust. You will always desire more. Touching will lead to kissing, kissing will lead to sex, and sex outside of marriage will lead to you dying or pregnant (just kidding, but there are bad consequences for sin). 
“Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?” (Proverbs 6:27)
“Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” (2 Timothy 2:22)
Here are 5 things to remember/examine if your relationship fell into sin:
1. God is able to forgive you. 
I know the devil may play games with your mind at times, but please understand that Christ died for you knowing you weren’t perfect. He knew you’d fail, which is why He came to save you (Romans 5:8). God is able to restore you when you fall and to place you back on the right track (Psalms 37:23-25). God’s love doesn’t change, you just have to seek His forgiveness. Please do not think that is to say it’s okay to live as you please. God is a merciful Father, but He is a righteous judge. Do not think sin has no consequences just because we are saved (Romans 6:23). 
2 . Is this a godly relationship? 
You can fool me, but you can’t fool God. Please be honest when examining your relationship. Does that person even love God? I don’t mean do they go to church, they’re a pastor’s kid or they preach every Sunday. I want you to check if their lifestyle actually shows they desire an intimate walk with God. If not, that is your cue to end it and pray for their growth. If they are faithful to Christ, then you should be seeing if you are the person who is straying away from Christ and need to get your act together. This isn’t to sound harsh, but we will act like those we surround ourselves with, so we must guard our hearts from the enemy (Proverbs 4:23). 
“Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.” (1 Corinthians 15:33)

3. Could I have prevented this? 

Many people like to play the victim role and give the devil all of the credit. The truth is, most times we knew what we were doing. You knew you two were falling into sin when you two started being alone and touching one another. You knew things were getting out of hand when the comments started becoming less godly and more sexual. If you realize they want naked pictures or to start doing sexual things, that should be your cue to draw the line or cut the relationship. I know what it means to love someone and know they aren’t good for you. It happens to us all, or we are bad for someone else. It’s okay to admit when a relationship isn’t healthy. That’s when we decide to stop entertaining our lustful desires and seek God for help. Accountability partners and spiritual leadership are smart moves to make, that will help us prevent some issues. 
“Abstain from all appearance of evil.” (1 Thessalonians 5:22)

4. Is this consistently happening?

When you fall into sin, it’s easy to get back up and trust God again. When you consistently fall into sin, it’s harder for you to hear God’s voice. That is because deliberate sin is the same as rebellion. So if we consistently ignore God and His will for our lives, eventually we become desensitized to His voice. If you two keep falling, it’s an indicator that God is not in your relationship. God can’t bless a relationship that blatantly ignores His word. We wrote another blog on “How Do I know if they’re The One” and we have a youtube video about it, we will let you get into those for more information. 
“Keep your servant from deliberate sins! Don’t let them control me. Then I will be free of guilt and innocent of great sin.” (Psalms 19:13 NLT)

5.  You will never have to sin/compromise in order to get or keep who God is sending.

It honestly breaks my heart when I receive messages from believers who say they have been waiting so long and are frustrated because they have friends who live in sin and appear happy. Please don’t let social media or smiles fool you, their is no peace or true joy outside of God’s will. God would not ask you to wait if He didn’t have special plans for you. God would not ask us to avoid fornication if He didn’t understand how it can cloud your judgment, drain you emotionally and spiritually, and even pull you out of His will. Don’t let anyone creep into your life telling you a little sin is okay if you two keep it a secret. Or tell you “don’t worry because God forgives”. The devil is a liar. You are special to Christ. He will reward your patience and obedience to His word. 
“Ye did run well; who did hinder you that ye should not obey the truth?” (Galatians 5:7 ESV)
There are many people who turned away from Christ because of a bad relationship or because of a relationship. I just want to encourage you that God is willing to forgive you. God is not holding it against you, just turn back to Him. You may have even had a child outside of marriage, but God is able to restore you. Turn back to Him today.
Grace and peace,
Tovares Grey

Fear of Singleness

In society today, we see that everyone is hyped over being in relationships, getting married or starting families. None of those are bad goals. However, those should not be our only goals. I have come to notice something very scary in the church: people want a “godly relationship” more than they want God. People want to get married more than they want to be the bride of Christ. We are investing so much in finding “the one” God has for us, instead of passionately pursuing The One who made us. The bible tells us to seek God’s kingdom and His righteousness first. When we put God first, He adds the things we need in our lives (Matthew 6:33).
Don’t rush through these questions I’m about to ask you. I want you to meditate on these over time and see if you love Jesus as much as you say do.

  1. Is God really enough for me?
  2. Am I only praying for a spouse when I do decide to pray?
  3. If I didn’t get married, would I have resentment in my heart towards God?
  4. Do I spend time with God by myself without depending on a relationship in order to grow?
  5. Am I even getting myself ready for marriage? Or am I just desiring something because others look happy on social media?

“But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.” (John 4:14)

The woman at the well is a clear example of the majority of us in our spiritual walk. We are empty. We can shout, dance and appear happy all day long. However, many of us are putting on a show to hide our inner pain or loneliness. You see, Christianity is more than how high we can jump in church, but how straight we can walk when the service is over. It’s okay to be a work in progress. It’s okay to admit that we don’t know what we are doing. It’s perfectly fine to stop what you are doing and just ask Jesus to help you. Please understand this, Jesus said His grace is sufficient for our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). The woman at the well shows me that no matter how many relationships we get into, no person will be enough to fill the void in our hearts that is meant for God. We have some strange notion that a relationship will complete us, and when it fails we run off to the next person to make us “happy”. Marriage is designed to draw us closer to God’s standard of holiness rather than towards earthly “happiness”.

For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me the fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water. (Jeremiah 2:13)

Many of us are currently jumping from person to person looking for love, peace, acceptance, and healing. Please stop expecting people to give that to you, you have to get that from Jesus. We have people in the church today that are afraid of being single. This may not be ideal to say and some people will be upset, but it is impossible for every single person to be married. There is not a perfect 1:1 man to woman ratio, so that alone should show us that God will allow some to be single. Not only will God call some to be single and use them for ministry (like how Paul dedicated his life to his ministry after being saved), but some people will never be married because they never allowed God to heal and prepare them. If you carry the bricks from past relationships to a new one, you will always build the same house. God wants to deliver you from the baggage you’re carrying. God wants His children to spend alone time with Him. If all of your time is spent with a new person, you will always find your identity and worth in people, rather than in Christ. When you find your worth in a person outside of Christ, it will fail and we will end up heartbroken. Yes, God will mend the broken pieces of our heart, but why put yourself through that? Place your heart in God’s hand and allow Him to place it in the hands of someone seeking Him. If you continue making decisions on your own, this toxic cycle will never end. 

“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

This blog is mainly for those who don’t know how to be single or think they must be outside of God’s will if they are single. Many people trust God with everything except with their “love life”. Stop picking and choosing the areas of your life you’ll submit to Christ. Allow God to lead you instead of emotions or loneliness. Until you learn to be content alone with Christ, you’ll never know if you’re with someone because it’s God’s plan or if you’re just afraid of being alone.

“For in him dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily. And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power:” (Colossians 2:9-10)

Grace and peace,
Tovares Grey

I Love Jesus, but I'm Depressed

You know what I’ve come to learn about many people in the church? We can easily misinterpret things because of our own convictions or emotions. It’s true because of how I feel. You hear more comments like “well, I think”, “I don’t think the bible was implying this, I believe it was suggesting….” or more comments like that. However, no one is saying what the bible says, just what they think or feel.
“There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.”‭‭ (Proverbs‬ ‭14:12‬)
I’ve also noticed that some people don’t understand the dynamics of spiritual warfare whatsoever, so they consider anything positive a blessing from God and everything negative the devil. That would be complete nonsense for us to believe the devil has so much power. Jesus said that ALL power was given to Him (Matthew 28:18), so the devil has no power over us. It is possible to be blessed and not have much. Blessings aren’t in possessions. It is possible to be cursed and have everything you want. We cannot say God is on our side because things are going our way. God does not change based off of our seasons (Hebrews 13:8). So in some parts of the church, we see there are some believers that really don’t understand that spiritual warfare is necessary and they are living based off emotions.
Then there are other believers that tend to “over-spiritualize” everything:
“Don’t claim that spirit, depression is of the devil!”
“You don’t have mental health issues, that’s the enemy coming against your mind!”
“The reason you’re in that season that you are in is because you have been in sin…. God must be teaching you a lesson.”
Those are just a few statements I’ve heard. Sadly, I must admit I used to say and believe things like this. I say it’s sad because I know now how we as Christians can be both ignorant and/or insensitive to the battles others are facing…. Until we are in those shoes.
And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? (Matthew 27:46)
Now before you misinterpret where I am headed with this, just follow me. This verse is not to say Jesus was depressed. However, there are many believers that found themselves afraid, sad, depressed, suicidal, lonely, distressed, overwhelmed etc. There are points in our lives when we are doing no wrong yet we are feeling burdened. Which goes to show us, “bad things” don’t always happen to us because we are living in sin. Yes, sin has destructive outcomes, but righteousness can have negative consequences. People are killed for their faith daily. Moses was leading the people as God commanded, yet they only stressed him out (Exodus 32:19). Elijah was a mighty man of God, yet reached a point where he just wanted to die; maybe he even had a few suicidal thoughts pass his mind (1 Kings 19:4). David was a man after God’s heart, yet he found himself in very low points and feeling away from God (Psalms 13).
If you feel alone, just know that this season will pass. It is a season, God has not forgotten you. I used to think “weak-minded” Christians are the ones that experience depression or anxiety. Now I know that we are still human and susceptible to weakness. However, weak moments are some of the most spiritually enriching moments. Jesus said that His grace was sufficient for our weakness and that His strength  is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:7-10). You don’t have to feel ashamed to be broken. Jesus will mend the broken pieces of your heart, but you have to be bold enough to seek His presence (Hebrews 4:16). If you are depressed over someone who left, understand that God’s plan for your life is not attached to someone He removed from your life. If you are down about what you don’t have, please understand that God can supply all of your needs (Philippians 4:19). If you don’t have a reason and this season just comes often, please understand that God is able to to deliver again and again and again and again.
I still firmly believe that many of us are misunderstanding the power of God at times. God is a healer. God is a deliverer. I refuse to believe that God is able to come to earth as a man, die, and rise back up again, only to have SOME power. Jesus said that ALL power is in His hand (Matthew 28:18). So no, you can’t medicate a demonic spirit. Some sicknesses and mental issues are spiritual attacks. I know many may not believe that, but you cannot believe in Jesus and the Bible, yet fail to realize there is a devil and he comes to destroy us (Ephesians 6:10-12). That is why Jesus said that He will give us power over the adversary (Mark 16:16-18), because He knows that we will have to bind demonic spirits through His name.
I’ve been in many circumstances where I have seen demonic spirits manifest in someone’s life. Either someone else casted it out of their body, or I had to. Many think that stuff only happened in the bible, but the bible said these signs will follow us as believers. You may have certain spirits plaguing your mind, cast them out by speaking truth. I’ve seen many people come to me out of depression and I have to talk them out of suicide or something else very dangerous. When God said He was giving us power, it was so we could rise above the enemy’s plan and do His will (Acts 1:8).
10 Verses to memorize and quote when you’re going through depression:
  1. Psalm 42:5 & 11
  2. Psalms 34:1
  3. Philippians 4:8
  4. Deuteronomy 31:8
  5. Psalms 34:17
  6. Psalms 40:1-3
  7. 1 Peter 5:7
  8. John 16:33
  9. Isaiah 41:10
  10. Jeremiah 32:17

 
Of course, depression doesn’t leave overnight. I remember going through the lowest point in my life, because I was ostracized over a rumor. The only people I could trust were family and a few friends. It didn’t make sense to me because everyone that cut me off were so close to me. David said that he could understand if his enemies hated him, but being hurt by church family can be overwhelming (Psalms 55:12). The trick of the devil though is to allow you to isolate yourself from people, he wants you to shut down so you can become an easy target. However, when you feel the most alone is when you need to seek God the most. Have a spiritual leader to lean on and help strengthen you. When you feel no one understands, that is when you need to learn to express yourself instead of assuming that no one cares. I’m praying for all of you who may struggle with this.
Grace and peace,

Tovares Grey

Can Our "Motives" Delay God's Blessings?

“Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” (Psalms‬ ‭37:4‬)
 
Sometimes, understanding God can be a bit difficult. Jesus promises us that whatever “we ask for in His name, He will do it” (John 14:14). However, He doesn’t always answer when we want Him to or exactly how we expect Him to. Does that mean God is lying? No. Sometimes some things we ask for just aren’t the will of God for our lives, that’s why when Jesus was praying to the Father, He said “not my will by Yours” (Luke 22:42). Even if it is God’s will for our lives, that doesn’t mean that it was His timing.
 
You see, when the Bible says that if we delight in God and He will give the desires of our heart, that didn’t make Him a genie. Many people try to use that scripture to manipulate the hand of God. If you have a child that’s sixteen, straight-A student, they love God with all of their heart, and they even have manners (because that’s definitely rare today), that doesn’t mean the child deserves a brand new car. Are you angry with your child? No, but they don’t need everything they ask for. If that child gets mad and says “but all of my friends have cars”, does that mean they need one? Nope. Too many people expect things prematurely, but that is not always a good thing. Receiving blessings early can do more harm than good. 
 
When the word of God says to delight in the Lord and He will gives the desires of our heart, it wasn’t lying at all. I know you may doubt the word of God when you don’t see it coming to pass immediately. The issue is, many of us don’t realize that when we delight in Jesus, our desires are going to change. If you say you are getting closer to Jesus and you’re still spiritually stagnant or chasing sin, then you’re not actually growing. You see, spiritual growth is evident in every aspect of your life. Many of us are still missing some exes because the part of us that needed them isn’t healed yet. Many of us are still seeking shallow things like earthly approval or “likes” on social media because we aren’t fully aware of who we are in Christ. When you start to delight in Christ, you will never be the same. You won’t keep chasing what you want, but you’ll begin to seek what God has for you. You won’t keep chasing the things that kept you in bondage, because you want to please God. When you start allowing God into your heart, He will push out all of those insecurities, sins, frustrations and stress you have in your life. 

Our Christian walk is similar to a parent-child relationship. The parent, in most cases, is saying things that we don’t understand. We feel restricted. We feel unloved. Some may feel “abused” even when it comes to slight discipline. However, most loving parents do certain things to protect us, we just don’t recognize it at the time. The areas where you feel God is isolating you from all of your “friends”, He’s actually insulating you from that destructive path you were on. When you see that God isn’t sending a spouse yet, God sees that you have insecurities and bad habits that need to be broken.
 

Life isn’t always about the destination, God is trying to work on us while we are in route to that blessing. 

You ever noticed as an adult that something your parent said just never made sense to you until you were in a certain predicament that required it? Here’s a quick example: My parents didn’t play games when it came to the house of God. My brothers and I grew up with two God fearing parents that never allowed us to disrespect the church, talk down to leadership, play while the service is going on, and other things down the line. As a child, you can easily find church boring and try to find a new way how to sneak out or fall asleep without getting caught. Let’s just say, that one of my dad’s favorite scriptures just has to be Proverbs 23:13. Look it up and you’ll understand lol. However, as an adult now, my brothers and I still see the value in the church. No matter if we strayed, we realized where to go for peace. We know where to go to be restored. We know that the world doesn’t have much to offer, and it’s all because our parents instilled some principles that we needed in life.

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs‬ ‭22:6‬)

I say all of that to say, God wants to work on our motives. Sometimes, God will withhold a good desire until He finishes working on our hearts. Many of us think all we need in life is a spouse, so He has to help us not make an idol out of marriage. Many of us only want a spouse because others have one, so He works on the envy in our heart. Many of us want to have a spouse just to have “sin-free” sex, so He wants to work on the lust in our heart. Whatever state you are in now, just ask God to work on you. He won’t withhold His promises from us, He just has to prepare us for them. 

 

“You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.” (James‬ ‭4:3‬ ‭ESV‬‬)

God is able to give us the desires that we have, but not every “good desire” is a “God desire”. When you are seeking God, remember to seek His will over your own. One way to know if your desires aren’t selfish is to ask yourself this, “If God gave me everything that I asked for, would this benefit only me, or those around me as well?”
Grace and peace,
Tovares Grey