Idolizing Marriage

So you say that you want to be married. That’s fantastic! However, your desire may be delayed because of your motives. Why is our society so deceived into thinking that they can’t be happy until someone else comes along to give them worth? Marriage is so great, but it cannot complete. Good things cannot fill God’s role. Marriage is meant to be a blessing, but not your purpose on earth.
Okay, before I scare you away, let me get into the point of this blog!
There are so many people out there desiring marriage. That is so good, because marriage gives us an idea of just how much God loves us. Husbands are literally told to love their wives the way that Christ loves us. If that isn’t an indicator on how serious God takes marriage, I really don’t know what is. We are blessed with the gift of sex in marriage which gives pleasure and the ability to procreate. However, the problem arises when we want to be married more than we want Jesus. We seek a spouse before we seek the God who created us. Of course the all-knowing God could tell us who to pursue and who to stay away from, but we simply just hunger so much for the fairy tale love story that we forget all about God. Too many people are expecting a story like Love and Basketball, The Notebook or a Disney channel love story. I think many of us have the idea that marriage carries us into a happily ever after without problems, but is that the case? Every “romance” movie we watch, the movie ends with the highlights! The boy finally wins her heart. That pretty girl finally gives that guy a chance and they run off into pure bliss. The couple who broke up and moved on, somehow managed to run back into each other and fate would have it that their love is rekindled.
“It is definitely God’s will that I get my fairytale!” That’s just how it should be, right?
Wrong. Relationships don’t always go according to our plans….even if we love Jesus. Divorce rates are high just for the misconception many of us believe. You must know that no matter how awesome they are, they are still human. Perfection can only be found in Jesus, so do not hold an extra high standard for someone that cannot fill it. Marriages fail when God isn’t the center, but your idea of how marriage is. You both will have work to do, but you can’t grow if you two aren’t CHOOSING to forgive, love, cherish, respect and honor even when the feelings may fade.
Ever heard someone say they want a Godly spouse or someone following Jesus, but they aren’t even following Him wholeheartedly? That will never happen, you attract who you are not necessarily who you want. If you’re pursuing Jesus, then like-minded people will be drawn towards you; if you’re a lustful person, then that kind of person will be drawn to you. It is not God’s will for you to be with anyone holding on to the world. You two are going in opposite directions if they choose to remain lukewarm or unsaved. Keep your eyes on Jesus. Wait on someone you can pursue Jesus with. Wait for the type of person that will protect your purity and encourage you to seek Christ. So many want marriage so bad that they don’t take the time to evaluate themselves or the person they are with. God does not want us with anyone leading us away from Him. Love does not lead to sin. A Godly man/woman can commit to one person. Be careful of those wasting your time with their games. Do not say “I do” to someone who hasn’t said “I do” to Jesus. Committing to someone that doesn’t love God is only setting you up for a dead end relationship. If the two of you even last, you’ll still find yourself far away from God and that wasn’t your intention.
Are you getting yourself prepared for marriage, or do you just want a honeymoon, a ring and sex? Be careful of doing right things with wrong motives. Paul did say it’s better to marry than to burn with lust/passion (1 Corinthians 7:9), but keep this in mind: if sex is the only reason you are going into marriage, you’re not ready for it. Of course no one will be perfect before marriage, but be careful of jumping into it and you’re not ready for such a great commitment. It should be until “death do you part”, not until “looks fade and you run out of money”. Remember that it’s a lifetime commitment you are preparing for so do not rush into something you can’t handle. Guys, if you don’t want to commit then leave the girl alone. Stop trying to see how many hearts you can break before “settling down”. And vice versa, because some women string men along and try to get attention from him, but won’t give him the commitment that he desires. Divorce is only common because we are seeking guilt-free sex, a wedding celebration, someone to control and manipulate rather than a best-friend we can honor Christ and grow with.
Think about it, your heart is too valuable to just jump into marriage and you weren’t prepared for it. Rushing will lead our vulnerable hearts into sin, brokenness and wasted time. Choose today to be patient, wait on God to lead you and not our emotions that can easily change. His timing is perfect.
Grace and peace,
Tovares Grey

Love God. Love People.

We love him, because he first loved us. (1 John 4:19 KJV)
Most people are quite aware of this scripture. We all know that God loved us first. Before he even created us, God had an unconditional love for mankind. Which is why we love and serve Him.
Q: How do we love God?
A: Simple, obedience.
-If ye love me, keep my commandments. (John 14:15 KJV)
-God doesn’t ask us for anything except obedience. He doesn’t ask us for our opinions, our inputs, or anything else. Our love is expressed through obedience.
-Many prove their love through many religious acts. However, doing things in church or for a church doesn’t mean you love God. It could be for recognition, or fear of Hell.
-Some choose to tattoo scriptures on their bodies to show the world their faith. An outward expression of their inward person. However, this isn’t necessary to be a disciple. The world knows we are Christ followers by one thing, our love for people.
By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. (John 13:35 KJV)
-Jesus didn’t do have to do much for others to believe him or accept his ministry. He showed love to sinners and they were immediately drawn to Him.
-They didn’t understand why he spoke to sinners, but he said: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. (Luke 5:32 KJV)
-If we ever become to “high” that we cannot be reachable, we have failed as God’s ambassadors.
Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. (Matthew 22:37-39 KJV)
-So here we see that loving God is our number one priority, but now we must take it into consideration that loving others is second!
False beliefs:
1. God first, then family, then others.
2. God. Me. Others.
J.O.Y: Jesus. Others. Yourself
You come last! Jesus came as God in flesh but he never made his priorities come first. He was always mindful of the situation of others!
But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; (Philippians 2:7-10 KJV)
We must learn to love people the way we love ourselves.
-You don’t like to look or dress bad. Maybe you should find someone less fortunate and help fix them up.
-You like having money? Find someone without lunch and feed them.
-On judgment day, many wont make it because of their selfish behaviors. Need proof?
Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels: For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not. Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee? Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me. And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal. (Matthew 25:41-46 KJV)
Question: When was the last time we visited the sick? Not the ones related to us.
When did we ever buy something to eat and drink for a homeless person?
If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also. (1 John 4:20, 21 KJV)
-Yes this is something serious now, haha. If you are still reading, you obviously want to grow. God bless you!
-The bible clearly states we can’t love an invisible God and dislike a visible man.
-We will NEVER agree with a man 100%, but disagreements shouldn’t cause bitterness, envy, rage, anger, gossip, etc.
-If you even hate a person, the bible says you’re a murderer. There will be no killers in heaven!
-If you love God, love people.
Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. (Matthew 18:21, 22 KJV)
-We all have people in our lives that makes us upset over and over, if we don’t, maybe we are that person.
-Jesus still said keep forgiving.
-Forgiveness isn’t for them, it’s for you.
And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8 KJV)
-It doesn’t say love tolerates sin, but it says that it covers it.
-Don’t spread rumors about people, and don’t be so quick to give up on people.
-Love hides their faults and love raises them back up!
Do something different today! Choose to smile when you’re insulted. When that person offends you, walk away. When you have 200 reasons to fight, curse, be bitter, remember Jesus! Remember that he endured so much ridicule, for you and I to overcome!
For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. (Hebrews 12:3 KJV)
Have a blessed day! Show love, stop hate.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” Martin Luther King
-Tovares Grey